Posted on 09/05/2008 7:57:12 AM PDT by DrBombbay
>While walking down the street one day, a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. > >"Welcome to heaven," says St. Pete. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." > >"No problem, just let me in," says the senator. > >"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one day in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." > >Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator. > >"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." > >And with that, St. Pete escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. > >Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the common people. > >They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. > >Also present is the devil - really a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. > >Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.... > >The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Pete is waiting for him. > >"Now it's time to visit heaven." > >So, 24 hours pass with the seanator joining a group of contented souls floating from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time, and, before he realizes it, the 24 hour have gone by and St. Peter returns. > >"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity." > >The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful and all, but I think I would be happier in hell." > >So St. Peter escorts him down to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. > >Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. > >He sees all his friends dressed in rags picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above ... > >The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champange and danced and had a great time. Now there's nothing but a wasteland full of garbage and all of my friends look miserable. What happened?" > >The devil looks at him, smiles and says ................. > >"Yesterday we were campaigining. Today you voted!!"
IIRC, that joke originally was about Bill Gates, and the punchline was something like, “That was just the demo, Bill.”
Some paragraph breaks woulda been nice though.
Boy, that was a long joke...
While walking down the street one day, a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Pete. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” says the senator.
“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one day in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.
“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”
And with that, St. Pete escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the common people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil - really a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises....
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Pete is waiting for him.
“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls floating from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time, and, before he realizes it, the 24 hour have gone by and St. Peter returns.
“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”
The senator reflects for a minute, then answers:
Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful and all, but I think I would be happier in hell.”
So St. Peter escorts him down to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends dressed in rags picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above ...
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne and danced and had a great time. Now there’s nothing but a wasteland full of garbage and all of my friends look miserable. What happened?”
The devil looks at him, smiles and says .................
“Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted!!”
It is a bit hard to read. Some spacing, etc. would help.
It is a good joke.
The jokes on you ... for those that choose the devil; and there are millions choosing him.
And it’s still a long joke. (Just kidding...)
Let me adjust your monitor, if I may...
While walking down the street one day, a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
Welcome to heaven, says St. Pete. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
No problem, just let me in, says the senator.
Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one day in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.
Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.
I’m sorry, but we have our rules.
And with that, St. Pete escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the common people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil - really a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises....
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Pete is waiting for him.
Now it’s time to visit heaven.
So, 24 hours pass with the seanator joining a group of contented souls floating from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time, and, before he realizes it, the 24 hour have gone by and St. Peter returns.
Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.
The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful and all, but I think I would be happier in hell.”
So St. Peter escorts him down to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends dressed in rags picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above ...
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champange and danced and had a great time. Now there’s nothing but a wasteland full of garbage and all of my friends look miserable. What happened?”
The devil looks at him, smiles and says .................
Yesterday we were campaigining. Today you voted!!
Thanks for spacing it.
it looked good when I pasted it but horrible when it posted.
That was just the demo.
For paragraph breaks, just put a < then p then > at the end of the paragraph
Here's a helpful link for basic html and then some - I'm a complete novice myself, have to look up directions for a hot link everytime;
Thanks I_don't_chat for cleaning that up
Can’t read it. Just a bunch of black stuff all run together.
Hillary and Barack are Alinsky deciples. Alinsky’s dedication to his last book:
“Lest we forget at least an over-the-shoulder acknowledgment to the very first radical: from all our legends, mythology, and history (and who is to know where mythology leaves off and history begins — or which is which), the first radical known to man who rebelled against the establishment and did it so effectively that he at least won his own kingdom — Lucifer.”
—Saul Alinsky, Rules for Radicals, 1971
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