WORDS WOMEN USE

[jmpmstr4u2]

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD.

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

[notaliberal]

Did you have a little tiff with your wife this morning?? Lol

[republicangel]

I’m not sure if I should show this to my husband of 26 years or not. Lol Everyone of those describes me.

[jmpmstr4u2]

lol... Not at all. The second one describes the density of men... I thought them both to funny not to share.

[Mr. K]

Can someone with better Powerpoint skill then I please chart this?

[jmpmstr4u2]

lol...thought them both to funny not to share. I think we have all been through it on one side or the other....grin

[MplsSteve]

With some of my femal companions over the years, there has been a tendency (when asked “What’s Wrong?”) to say “Nothing”.

I know that there’s something wrong but I’m not gonna play games or try to coax them into talking. If something’s legitimately wrong, I expect them to TELL ME!

The maybe we can have a rational discussion without the woman resting her hands on her hips and flapping them back and forth in an angry manner.

When the arms start flapping and the neck/head starts sticking forward, I realize that there’s no chance to have a rational conversation.

The estrogen level has climbed to dangerous, life-form destructing strength!

[Little Bill]

Do you do the stomp approaching hubby and then do the clenched fists, on the pelvic bone, while leaning over at a 45 degree angle as he sits unaware of the coming storm?

[Sopater]

I once heard a pastor say that in an argument, the woman always has the last word. If the man says anything after she has had the last word, he has now started another argument.

[redstateconfidential]

I have to agree, one lovely lady I knew could communicate these all sublimely with a rare fit every now then that could shake the Pillars of the Obamacroplis. Another one while equally lovely to look at exhibited every one of the phrase words/warnings in cartoon exaggeration to a degree that lent her the demeanor of a purring kitten crossed with Tasmanian Devil. I only miss the former.

[republicangel]

Not anymore. He’s gotten really good at being able to tell what is about to happen. Suppose that is why we’ve been married so long. Lol

The eyebrow- that is my main weapon. Even my daughters talk about it. They discuss amongst themselves.

[Clemenza]

I hate women who overuse the terms "Alpha Male" and "Beta Male." Older women who always say "Oh, I shouldn't" before putting the pie in their mouth also annoy me.

Any woman driving an SUV with a soccer ball magnet decal also deserves our scorn, for helping to turn her sons into third world kickball playing pansies. ;-)

[Clemenza]

Note to any women reading these words: WE ARE NOT MIND READERS! WE NEVER WILL BE! IF SOMETHING IS WRONG, COME OUT AND TELL US!!!

[jmpmstr4u2]

Coming to someone who played semi-pro soccer....lol

[Clemenza]

You must have looked so cute in those shorts.

My kids will play hockey, lacrosse and AMERICAN football. Radio Disney will also be banned in the Clemenza household. I would rather listen to Fisher Price music than the Jonas Brothers.

[Little Bill]

The eye brow rising to a question mark, the evil sign, mark of the beast, I used to surrender before that.

I, because my Step Father was Italian, I followed the rule, "It is a Womens house, men only live there."

[normy]

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

Not really. First off taking out the trash is not a mans job unless he's the first one to see it's full. If a woman sees it's full and can't lift it then it is fine to ask her husband, otherwise she should take it out herself.

Now if your wife asks you to take out the trash during the football game it is a sure attempt to piss you off. She knows your watching the game. She wants to start a fight with you.

"Five minutes" with the wife usually comes when you're about to take her out to dinner or a movie or you are getting ready to go out. Let's say you have reservations at seven and at 6:30 your still asking how long until she's ready. That is inconsiderate as she should have started earlier instead of starting the night of contentiously.

By the way, I would like to know how many men would tell their wives to take out the trash.

[republicangel]

My husband and I have a system. I take the bag out of the can and close it up. He is wimpy about bad smells. Lol He takes it out to the can. It works for us.

[republicangel]

Our family joke is “if mama isn’t happy...no one is.”
I never even knew that I did my eyebrow up- I’m unable to do it on command. That is how my husband can tell that I’m starting to get upset. For years I couldn’t understand how he always knew when I was getting mad. Thought he could read my mind or something.

In all seriousness, we laugh a lot in our house. I guess that is why this thread made me feel like it was written for me.

[Little Bill]

In my time, a man, by the time he was married for five or six years, learned to spend a lot of time in horticulture. LOL.

I had several young Ladies working for one of my supervisors. I used to tell them, you look pissed, let go, they unloaded, they did, women can be crass. It was interesting.