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5 Terrible Life Lessons Hollywood Loves to Teach You
Cracked.com ^ | 7/2/08 | CRACKED Staff, David Wiens

Posted on 07/03/2008 12:21:50 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows

Hollywood goes with what works and, let's face it, there are a few things audiences like to see again and again in their movies. The underdog wins big, the loser gets his dream girl, Batman is awesome, etc.

But there are some themes that are either so wrong, stupid or harmful that they need to be retired once and for all. Such as ...

(Excerpt) Read more at cracked.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Music/Entertainment; Society
KEYWORDS: lifelessons; movies
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To: 6SJ7
"The Incredibles" is a rare movie that plays against the stereotype of "everyone is a winner". Its a great animation too!

The first time I watched it, my mouth actually fell open when Mr. Incredible talked about how stupid it is to make everyone special until nobody is. Never thought I'd see it in a mainstream movie aimed at kids.

41 posted on 07/03/2008 10:59:35 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (*******It's not conservative to accept an inept Commander-in-Chief in a time of war. Back Mac.******)
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To: Dick Vomer
3. Pistols can hit a man 100 yards away and knock him down.... while everybody with a machine gun misses from 5 feet away.

One time my then 8 year old son suckered me while we were playing Halo, and blew my head off with a rocket launcher from about 300 yeads away.

When I respawned, I put a bullet through his helmet with a pistol from at least 100 yards out.

But that was Halo. :-)

42 posted on 07/03/2008 11:03:46 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (*******It's not conservative to accept an inept Commander-in-Chief in a time of war. Back Mac.******)
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To: Dick Vomer

Excellent list, BTW,especially item 12.


43 posted on 07/03/2008 11:05:32 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (*******It's not conservative to accept an inept Commander-in-Chief in a time of war. Back Mac.******)
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To: Slings and Arrows
In reality we grew up and found out that if we wanted to be amazing at something, we had to practice so much that all the enjoyment dried up under the tedium. It's no wonder that by our 20s, so many of us wind up depressed, jobless and drunk (OK, we'd still get drunk if we could use the force, but it would involve a lot less brooding and much more car throwing).

LOL...

44 posted on 07/03/2008 11:08:47 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Who would McQueeg rather have mad at him: You or the liberals?)
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To: rightwinggoth

Or any car crash at any speed will almost certainly end in a fireball.

My dad and uncle found the lowlife scum who almost raped my aunt (she ran) and then they ran away abandoning their blocked in vehicle. They put a gasoline soaked rag in the gas tank, lit it on fire, and pushed the truck over the cliff awaiting a HUGE explosion. No dice!!!


45 posted on 07/03/2008 11:14:31 AM PDT by allmendream
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To: Slings and Arrows
When leaving a taxi, hot dog stand, restaurant etc... you pay by leaving a wad of bills and exiting quickly. You never have to fumble for change, do any arithmetic or wait on the cashier.

Another one: People in movies never finish their meals. They order in a restaurant and when the food arrives they jump up and run out. Kids never eat breakfast, but run through the kitchen saying "Gotta go!"

46 posted on 07/03/2008 11:33:59 AM PDT by Drawsing (The fool shows his annoyance at once. The prudent man overlooks an insult. (Proverbs 12:16))
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To: RipSawyer

All I saw in my mind’s eye was calcium dust.


47 posted on 07/03/2008 11:46:23 AM PDT by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, and writes again.)
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To: fredhead

“The other one from the westerns is the guy “fanning” his pistol and actually hitting what he’s shooting at. If you’re holding the trigger down and pulling back and releasing the hammer with your other hand, you have NO ACCURACY!!”

There’s a guy on YouTube who is the fastes shot in the world. He shoots a revolver the way you mention, fanning it and shooting from the hip.

He can hit two targets with incredible accuracy in less than the blink of an eye.

Ed


48 posted on 07/03/2008 3:21:02 PM PDT by Sir_Ed
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To: Dick Vomer
8. All gay guys are nicer than hetero guys and would make great boyfriends..... except for that one little problem. ....oh and AIDS, Chlamydia, Syphilis, anal warts, Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C.... narcissistic, sociopathic tendencies,

9. Homeless people are just "down on their luck" and aren't alcoholic, drug using, shiftless, lazy, schizophrenic, bipolar, criminals that would attack, rape, rob and murder you.

Myth #1000: Everyone "different," period, is automatically cute & virtuous, with something profound to teach to "normals."

In fact, everyone who is non-male, non-white, and heterosexually challenged wears a halo. The rest are all mean & evil.

49 posted on 07/03/2008 7:37:42 PM PDT by MoochPooch (I'm a compassionate cynic.)
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To: RipSawyer
Or then there was one of those Rambo movies where he completely obliterates a NVA bad guy with an arrow tipped with a small grenade.

The bad guy goes poof and disappears in the explosion but somehow his empty boots remained undisturbed and upright LOL

50 posted on 07/03/2008 9:01:48 PM PDT by valkyry1
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To: Dick Vomer

In Regards to number 12.
A girl friend and I was attending a conference when she found out her Boyfriend was cheating on her. She already had pretty good buzz going and started to drink more. Being the gentleman and friend I am, I got her out of there before she a really bad lifechoice and got her back to the room and made sure she was cool.
She thanked me the next day.
Not all men are pigs. Some of us do have morals.


51 posted on 07/04/2008 7:18:38 AM PDT by Yorlik803 (RIGHT: Wots all this then?)
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To: Yorlik803
A girl friend and I was attending a conference when she found out her Boyfriend was cheating on her. She already had pretty good buzz going and started to drink more. Being the gentleman and friend I am, I got her out of there before she a really bad lifechoice and got her back to the room and made sure she was cool.
She thanked me the next day.
Not all men are pigs. Some of us do have morals.

Why Yorlik803....you're an oak.


52 posted on 07/04/2008 8:23:10 PM PDT by Dick Vomer (liberals suck....... but it depends on what your definition of the word "suck" is.,)
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To: Ragtop

Well, the woman will ALWAYS trip and fall because for some reason, even on a weekend camping trip to a remote cabin, the woman is almost ALWAYS wearing heels, no matter how much whatever she’s doing demands something practical like sneakers.


53 posted on 07/07/2008 5:46:22 AM PDT by Hyzenthlay (I aim to misbehave.)
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To: Ragtop

Never answer the phone if babysitting.


54 posted on 07/07/2008 5:58:18 AM PDT by Lady Heron
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