Posted on 05/20/2008 8:40:41 PM PDT by Daffynition
BRITISH men, having given over our houses to our wives, girlfriends and womenfolk, are defined by our one last place to survive . . . the man drawer.
I think it’s a little sexist to say women run the home.
It’s not that they take it over, it’s just that men don’t require very much. We require one drawer – this is a man drawer.
The man drawer is for general domestic maintenance and things we feel we may need in the future.
Lightbulbs. Should a bulb within the home blow, the man will search his man drawer.
Other things that may go in include batteries.
Batteries of undetermined life will be littered throughout. I don’t know how old batteries get there but they find their way in nonetheless.
We will also have instructions. They immediately go into the man drawer despite the fact we may no longer have the appliance to which they relate.
The problem with instructions in the man drawer is that they end up wedging the man drawer shut.
Sometimes you can’t open your man drawer – so you have this drawer responsible for maintenance and you can’t even get in it.
And often the tool you need to open your man drawer is in the drawer – even more frustrating as you tug at it.
Other things include foreign currency. Men feel that having earned money, we cannot throw it away.
So we hold on to it. The problem with foreign coins is you pretty much know you’ll never need access to them again.
I don’t know whether it influences your decision as to where to holiday – “I think we should go back to Spain because I have pesetas and I could buy you a newspaper in the airport on the way home.”
But now the euro has come so all the foreign currency we have is useless.
But still we hold on to it in case certain countries decide to relinquish the euro and we will go: “Fabulous. We should immediately go to Corfu and buy milk.”
The next thing we have is a variety of keys, including ones from places where we used to live. We don’t even know what they open any more.
It could be the key to an old shed or a locker but something about the key is just too mysterious and magical to throw away.
Alongside those keys are radiator keys. These are used to bleed radiators – a job only men can do because if you get it wrong you will be scalded in the face so we won’t let women do that.
Another huge section is Allen keys. Allen Key is a man, I believe, of Swedish origin – someone who developed the Allen key.
Outside of radiator keys, keys to your old home and Allen keys would be long keys used to secure the tops and bottoms of drawers.
I don’t even know what they are called but we have them in the man drawer alongside string.
String is there for suicide. Every man needs to know he can end it at any given time.
Takeaway menus are very important. Should we need takeaway food, the man has it covered.
I know in my house the kitchen is my wife’s but when we need to order cuisine in I will fetch menus from my man drawer.
These consist of an Indian menu and a Chinese menu whereupon, despite the huge choice, we always order exactly the same thing.
Every time we go through the process of taking out the menu and reading it only to confirm we want the same thing we have ordered throughout our eight-year relationship.
One last man drawer essential.
We hold on to mobile phones and chargers – man drawers are like mini mobile phone museums.
Many even have mobiles from the Eighties.
A man drawer? LOL!
But what if it is in California? Man’s drawer could be wife’s drawer. So complicated!
I have a room with three full book shelves, an ancient stereo with “two man lift” speakers and my guitars and amps. I also have the basement for my exercise equipment.
The garage is neutral territory out of necessity.
I fought long and hard and will not give up one inch of territory!
This guy lives in my house. He has to, to know me that well.
Well, of course a lot of the keys in the drawer fit the trigger locks.
And the instructions for the scopes.
Or the "barn".
30 years ago I bought this house. It has a barn.
The less said about the contents of the barn, the better. 30 years is a lot of time to accumulate stuff...
actually, this is so true... this Californian wife's junk drawer is not much different than that man drawer... mine has some additional items... plus i have a "kitchen" junk drawer with packets of soy sauce, KFC towlettes, pens that do not work, rubber bands from produce items, and much, much more... plus my hubby has his man drawer which also sounds much like that man drawer... coins and all... come to think of it, i have a junk drawer in every room of our house... this is sad...
Send us pictures of YOUR man drawers to features@the-sun.co.uk and we'll print the best
A FReeper 'man-drawer' pic is just what a Brit tabloid needs :-)
Post #6 says it all.
[Are you insinuating the I *porpoisely* left that line out of the article???] ;D
Post #6 says it all.
[Are you insinuating the I *porpoisely* left that line out of the article???] ;D
One thing they definately do not have is a firearm. There government does not allow it. Too manly,individualistic and freedom defending for the Englishman. Sad.
That is very true.
Of course, the same may be said in return, of her places, too. There are some things I would just rather not know.
Typical Brit “man” drawer — no firearms or knives.
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