You can't fix stupid

[Gopher Broke]

You can't fix stupid...

ONE I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her 'I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

TWO A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy'..

THREE I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.. She replied, 'I k new I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' 'Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked. 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.' (she had no clue either!)

FOUR Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift... one day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper.. What do I do?' 'Just use copier machine paper,' the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

FIVE I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in 'Twister.' I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the 'cruise control' and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SIX My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: 'I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?'

SEVEN Police in Radnor, Pa. interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message 'He's lying' was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the 'lie detector' was working, the suspect confessed.

EIGHT A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine. The mother says, 'Okay, but, I just gave him some ant killer.... ' Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency room!'

Life is tough.

It's tougher if you're stupid.

[Slapshot68]

And they’re all voting for Obama. ;)

[x_plus_one]

Morlocks or eloi - the choice is ours...

[Conspiracy Guy]

I feel like I have met each one of these people.

[Mr. K]

you beat me to it... these people are allowed to vote too

[newgeezer]

You can't fix stupid

Maybe not but, we can at least try to put it in the correct forum. :O)

[chainsaw]

‘Do you know how much this is?’

Why do you think they invented bar code and scanners?

[EdReform]

And they’re all voting for Obama. ;)

LOL! Yep. Stupid is as stupid does.

[molette67]

LOL! I hear that!

[HuntsvilleTxVeteran]

According to the advertisements on TV,
this is the type to take medical courses!

[jdm]

I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

ROTFL!!!

[Conspiracy Guy]

Actually I feel like they all live next door.

[Mygirlsmom]

I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I would have replied...that's an instant rebate bar--it means you give me $10 back on my purchases!

[Eurale]

Hanlon’s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequatley explained by stupidity.

Corollary: Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.

[Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus]

And they’re all voting for Obama. ;)

Except for this guy: "Police in Radnor, Pa. interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message 'He's lying' was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the 'lie detector' was working, the suspect confessed."

He's probably going to vote Libertarian.

[buffyt]

You are my neighbor? They live across the street from me. We call them the BUMPASS FAMILY after the hillbilly family in A CHRISTMAS STORY. The Bumpasses. They are MOVING to Houston! AMEN! Happy to see them go. Actually it is only the dad. What an idiot! No teeth, no hair, no brain.

[Conspiracy Guy]

My next door neighbors will never move. I just try to avoid them. Houston would be a great place for them to consider.

[crazyhorse691]

After a meeting at a hospital I was eating lunch in the cafeteria and teasing some nurses. One nurse was complaining about light bulbs that burned out quickly in her apartment, so, I told her that the bulbs just needed recharging by wrapping them in tinfoil and placing in the freezer overnight. A few days later, after yet another meeting, I was in the cafeteria when the same nurse came over and told me that the bulbs still didn’t work. I told her that it sounded serious so she had better double wrap them this time. She sounded so happy as she left. I never did have an opportunity to go back.