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****THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 01/18/2008 4:59:39 AM PST by Lucky9teen

Thesaurus Day



When : Always January 18th

Thesaurus Day celebrates the birthday of the author of Roget's Thesaurus. Peter Roget was born on this day in 1779.

The Thesaurus has been an invaluable reference book for hundreds of years. Students and writers use it to improve the quality of their literary work. Do you remember how the book works? After High School, many of us forget. So, you're in good company. The Thesaurus lists synonyms (words with the same or similar meaning) for words. It allows you to avoid repetition in writing and speeches. It also lists antonyms...words with opposite meaning.

Enjoy today appreciating the value of the Thesaurus. If you haven't seen it in a while, take a moment to browse through it.

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Origin of Thesaurus Day:
We know that Thesaurus Day was created to honor Peter Roget, the author of Roget's Thesaurus. We fully expected to find a book company, or the folks at thesaurus.com to claim to be the originators. However, we did not find the originator or the date of origin. Perhaps it was one of the millions of people who appreciate the value of this reference book.

MEN'S THESAURUS

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: Why isn't dinner already on the table?

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: I have no idea how it works.

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD."
Means: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Means: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt.

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Means: And I sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: What did you catch me at?

"I HEARD YOU."
Means: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving.

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: No one will ever see us alive again.

And because it's longer...A Woman's Thesaurus


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; silliness; thesaurus
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To: Deaf Smith

ROFL - that’s GREAT!!


81 posted on 01/18/2008 10:05:47 AM PST by StarCMC (http://cannoneerno4.wordpress.com; http://starcmc.wordpress.com/ - The Enemedia is inside the gates.)
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To: nuke rocketeer
I knew a middle aged cross dresser who liked retro clothes.

One could say he was dating himself.

82 posted on 01/18/2008 10:06:13 AM PST by llevrok (Drink your beer, damnit! There are sober people in Africa!)
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To: Lucky9teen
For all y'all that don't live in the Banana Belt....


83 posted on 01/18/2008 10:07:25 AM PST by ErnBatavia (...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
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To: hillarynot
LOL -- guess she didn't think his tractor was sexy anymore. :-D
84 posted on 01/18/2008 10:07:26 AM PST by StarCMC (http://cannoneerno4.wordpress.com; http://starcmc.wordpress.com/ - The Enemedia is inside the gates.)
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To: DaveLoneRanger

Busted’em all!


85 posted on 01/18/2008 10:10:02 AM PST by JUMPIN JEHOSPOHAT ("I am not young enough to know everything" - Oscar Wilde / "It;s the same when yer too old!" - JJ)
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To: nuke rocketeer
I have a friend named John who is madly in love with a girl named Edith.

The only problem is that John is quite fat and keeps gaining weight.

"I'm so sad", John says. "I want to marry her and she says not until I lose weight."

"Well", I say. "I guess you can't have your cake and Edith too!"

86 posted on 01/18/2008 10:13:54 AM PST by llevrok (Drink your beer, damnit! There are sober people in Africa!)
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To: LostPassword
Big Dick's Half-way Inn (about a large man named Richard who owns a hotel mid-way between 2 cities. I think it's a real place too)

Ya Think???


87 posted on 01/18/2008 10:30:17 AM PST by Responsibility2nd
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The other day I was on the local bus.

My favorite driver, Gloria, was at the wheel when the bus suddenly broke down.

As she steered it to the curb, I asked, "Sic Transit, Gloria?"

88 posted on 01/18/2008 10:38:13 AM PST by llevrok (Drink your beer, damnit! There are sober people in Africa!)
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To: ErnBatavia
LOL - figures you're a Team America fan. (As am I.)
89 posted on 01/18/2008 10:40:35 AM PST by Allegra (It'll be a cold day in Hell when it snows in Baghdad.)
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To: StarCMC

You forgot my favorite! “If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out Of Jail By Now”


90 posted on 01/18/2008 10:45:24 AM PST by BruceysMom (taking my half out of the middle.)
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To: martin_fierro
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Ever been to Saipan?

91 posted on 01/18/2008 10:58:25 AM PST by Delta 21 ( MKC USCG - ret)
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To: llevrok

John and Ruthy side by side
Went out for a motor
John hit a bump, Ruth hit a tree
So John kept driving, Ruthlessly


92 posted on 01/18/2008 12:12:00 PM PST by synbad600
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To: synbad600
There once was a man named Sweeney
Who spilt some vermouth on his weenie.
Not thought to be uncouth, he spilt some vermouth
and later slipped his wife a martini.
93 posted on 01/18/2008 12:37:06 PM PST by llevrok (Drink your beer, damnit! There are sober people in Africa!)
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To: synbad600

I thought W quit drinking!!


94 posted on 01/18/2008 12:47:43 PM PST by clinkclink
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To: Lucky9teen
Sorry I took so long.

Had to change into the right clothes...


95 posted on 01/18/2008 1:42:05 PM PST by BenLurkin
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To: Lucky9teen

96 posted on 01/18/2008 2:08:29 PM PST by Bean Counter (Stout Hearts...)
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To: Lucky9teen
HA! HA!....that won't work on real men....only the ladies.
97 posted on 01/18/2008 2:33:44 PM PST by skinkinthegrass (just b/c your paranoid, doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you....Run, FRed, Run. :^)
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To: Lucky9teen
Drunk Skunk
98 posted on 01/18/2008 3:24:40 PM PST by Tamar1973 (Riding the Korean Wave, one recipe at a time http://www.youtube.com/Tamar1973)
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To: Tamar1973

99 posted on 01/18/2008 3:47:17 PM PST by Lucky9teen (“A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.” Harry Truman)
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To: Delta 21

100 posted on 01/18/2008 3:48:18 PM PST by Lucky9teen (“A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.” Harry Truman)
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