Posted on 01/18/2008 4:59:39 AM PST by Lucky9teen
When : Always January 18th
Thesaurus Day celebrates the birthday of the author of Roget's Thesaurus. Peter Roget was born on this day in 1779.
The Thesaurus has been an invaluable reference book for hundreds of years. Students and writers use it to improve the quality of their literary work. Do you remember how the book works? After High School, many of us forget. So, you're in good company. The Thesaurus lists synonyms (words with the same or similar meaning) for words. It allows you to avoid repetition in writing and speeches. It also lists antonyms...words with opposite meaning.
Enjoy today appreciating the value of the Thesaurus. If you haven't seen it in a while, take a moment to browse through it.
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Origin of Thesaurus Day:
We know that Thesaurus Day was created to honor Peter Roget, the author of Roget's Thesaurus. We fully expected to find a book company, or the folks at thesaurus.com to claim to be the originators. However, we did not find the originator or the date of origin. Perhaps it was one of the millions of people who appreciate the value of this reference book.
MEN'S THESAURUS
"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: Why isn't dinner already on the table?
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: I have no idea how it works.
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD."
Means: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Means: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt.
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Means: And I sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: What did you catch me at?
"I HEARD YOU."
Means: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving.
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: No one will ever see us alive again.
And because it's longer...A Woman's Thesaurus
Electile Dysfunction : the inability to become aroused over any of the viable choices for president put forth by either party in the 2008 election year.
Added to my collection!!! : )
I think the word for lightning is “Bahroooom”.
Honorable mention
If my nose were full of nickels, I’d blow it all on you
I fell in a pile of you and got love all over me
My John Deere was breakin your field, while you Dear John was breakin my heart
A band named Commander Cody and this Lost Planet Airmen had a very sad country song titled:
The Down to Seeds and Stems Again Blues.....
I’m sittin alone, Saturday night, watching the Late Late Show.
A bottle of wine, some cigarettes, I got no place to go.
Well, I saw your other man today; he was wearing my brand new shoes,
And I’m down to seeds and stems again, too.
Well, I met my old friend Bob today from up in Bowling Green;
He had the prettiest little gal that I’d ever seen.
But I couldn’t hide my tears at all, cause she looked just like you,
And I’m down to seeds and stems again, too.
Now everybody tells me there’s other ways to get high.
They don’t seem to understand I’m too far gone to try.
Now these lonely memories, they’re all I can’t lose,
And I’m down to seeds and stems again, too.
Well my dog died just yesterday and left me all alone.
The finance company dropped by today and repossessed my home.
That’s just a drop in the bucket compared to losing you,
And I’m down to seeds and stems again, too.
Got the Down to Seeds an Stems again Blues.
She showed up at my house at half past nine
In a low-cut dress with a bottle of wine
She said this will be a night you won't forget
She poured us some drinks to get us into the mood
I reached for the lights, she reached for my tunes
She pulled out that Red Headed Stranger, I stood up and said
Don't touch my Willie
I don't know you that well
Help yourself to some Haggard or some Jones
Hell, or anybody else
I don't know what you heard
I ain't that kind of guy
Yeah so don't touch my Willie,
We'll get a long just fine
1. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it
hit me.
2. Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was
resisting a rest.
3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all
right now.
4. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir Cumference.
5. The butcher backed up into a meat grinder and got a little behind in his
work.
6. Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.
7. While fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
8. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.
9. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
10. A thief, who fell and broke his leg in wet cement, became a hardened
criminal.
11. Can thieves who steal corn from a garden be charged with stalking?
12. We’ll never run out of math tea chers because they all know how to multiply.
13. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
14. The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky
ground.
15. All the dead batteries were distributed free of charge.
16. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
17. A bicycle can’t stand alone becaused it is two tired.
ping to #49
He's completely recovered.
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