Posted on 01/11/2008 12:47:14 PM PST by yankeedame
His cheek
Was rough
His chick vamoosed
And now she won't
Come home to roost
Burma-Shave
The place to pass
On curves
You know
Is only at
A beauty show
Burma-Shave
On curves ahead
Remember, sonny
That rabbit's foot
Didn't save
The bunny
Burma-Shave
Twinkle, twinkle
One-eyed car
We all wonder
WHERE you are
Burma-Shave
These signs
We gladly
Dedicate
To men who've had
No date of late
Burma-Shave
A guy
Who drives
A car wide open
Is not thinkin'
He's just hopin'
Burma-Shave
A whiskery kiss
For the one
You adore
May not make her mad
But her face will be sore
Burma-Shave
His brush is gone
So what'll we do
Said Mike Robe I
To Mike Robe II
Burma-Shave
If your peach
Keeps out
Of reach
Better practice
What we preach
Burma-Shave
When Super-shaved
Remember, pard
You'll still get slapped
But not so hard
Burma-Shave
To kiss
A mug
That's like a cactus
Takes more nerve
Than it does practice
Burma-Shave
The whale
Put Jonah
Down the hatch
But coughed him up
Because he scratched
Burma-Shave
Violets are blue
Roses are pink
On graves
Of those
Who drive and drink
Burma-Shave
Candidate says
Campaign
Confusing
Babies kiss me
Since I've been using
Burma-Shave
My job is
Keeping faces clean
And nobody knows
De stubble
I've seen
Burma-Shave
Doesn't
Kiss you
Like she useter?
Perhaps she's seen
A smoother rooster!!
Burma-Shave
No use
Knowing
How to pick 'em
If your half-shaved whiskers stick 'em
Burma-Shave
He tried
To cross
As fast train neared
Death didn't draft him
He volunteered
Burma-Shave
Her chariot
Raced 80 per
They hauled away
What had
Ben Her
Burma-Shave
She will
Flood your face
With kisses 'Cause you smell
So darn delicious
Burma-Shave
Altho insured
Remember, kiddo
They don't pay you
They pay
Your widow
Burma-Shave
Train approaching
Whistle squealing
Pause!
Avoid that
Rundown feeling!
Burma-Shave
Soap
May do
For lads with fuzz
But sir, you ain't
The kid you wuz
Burma-Shave
Cautious rider
To her
Reckless dear
Let's have less bull
And lots more steer
Burma-Shave
Proper
Distance
To him was bunk
They pulled him out
Of some guy's trunk
Burma-Shave
She eyed
His beard
And said no dice
The wedding's off--
I'll COOK the rice
Burma-Shave
Unless
Your face
Is stinger free
You'd better let
Your honey be
Burma-Shave
Substitutes
Can do
More harm
Than city fellers
On a farm
Burma-Shave
Pat's bristles
Scratched
Bridget's nose
That's when
Her wild Irish rose
Burma-Shave
A beard
That's rough
And overgrown
Is better than
A chaperone
Burma-Shave
Drinking drivers
Don't you know
Great bangs
From little
Binges grow?
Burma-Shave
He's a wolf
Said riding hood
But Grandma dear,
He smells so good
Burma-Shave
Is he
Lonesome
Or just blind--
This guy who drives
So close behind?
Burma-Shave
Pedro
Walked
Back home by golly
His bristly chin
Was hot-to-Molly
Burma-Shave
A chin
Where barbed wire
Bristles stand
Is bound to be
A no ma'ams land
Burma-Shave
Face soft
As woman's touch
Yet doesn't cost you
Near as much
Burma-Shave
We can't
Provide you
With a date
But we do supply
The best darn bait
Burma-Shave
The wolf
Is shaved
So neat and trim
Red Riding Hood
Is chasing him
Burma-Shave
His
Tomato
Was the mushy type
Until his beard
Grew over-ripe
Burma-Shave
"Friday afternoon-waiting for the week-end" ping...
8^)
I LOVED those Burma-Shave signs!
When I used to drive commercial truck, I would see signposts in the Burma-shave tradition, hawking any and all manner of stuff. Virginia had the most clever ones; telling everyone to slow down.
Thanks. I’ve got an epitaph somewhere done as a Burma Shave rhyme. I’ll be looking for it.
A good project for youth campaigns is to do Burma Shave rhymes, put them on consecutive posterboard signs, adn stand alongside a highway (where it’s safe to do so) about 50-100 feet apart. This can really draw attention from the *voters* who drive by.
This election
Is a scam.
Afraid of Democrats?
You bet I am.
Obama-Shave
Congressional spending
is far too fast.
At the current rate
my savings won’t last.
I thought this was the official Friday silliness thread. Is it about Burma Shave only?
If so, I think that may be a hate crime directed at we who have beards.
If not, check out this link, plus you can down load any pictures you want to put in as the cast of characters. It’s kind of cute:
http://www.jibjab.com/sendables/254/Starring_You/Night_of_the_Living_Democrats
You'll soon see 'em
On a shelf
In some museum
brainless at ref desk
staring at the wall all day
remember to blink
I only remember seeing one from my youth. It was in Oregon, heading south on the interstate 5, somewhere after Portland and before Eugene.
Sorry.
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