Posted on 10/10/2007 1:37:27 PM PDT by Froufrou
Researchers at West Northland University have released a study directly linking longevity to foot size. The groundbreaking publication culminates a ten year study of people between the ages of 80 and 100, and included subjects from all walks of life. "It was a surprising conclusion, frankly." said Herman Littlepod, Professor of Geriatric Podiatry at the University and co-author of the study.
"We expected lifestyle and geography to be more of a factor. But some subjects smoked and drank - some didn't, some exercised regularly - some didn't, and it didn't seem to matter where they lived. In the end, the only common denominator was that most of them had larger than average feet."
Skeptics were quick to point out that lifestyle cannot be completely taken out of the equation. "More study may be needed, but I would think that most people who smoke, drink and don't exercise wouldn't live to be 80 in the first place." said Patricia Whitecoat, Professor of Quantative Physiology at Howyflyl University. "But you can't ignore the facts. This big foot phenomenon has merit."
Researchers say funding for a supplemental study has been approved, but stress that research in a new direction is also needed. "A basic rule of science is to repeat the experiment." says Mort Finfisher, the other co-author of the report. "But we would be remiss to not ask the obvious questions: 'What are the inherent dangers of having small feet that seem to shorten life spans?' 'Is it a balance problem?' 'Are there therapeutic properties in foot odor? Right now, we just don't know."
Although compelling, the research team warns that people should not act on the results of the study just yet. "We're not ready to say that foot enlargement surgery may add years to your life." admits Littlepod. "But if you already have big feet, keep them."
Wednesday foot ping...
Paging Dick Morris!!
Littlepod. Finfisher. Foot odor. Hardy har har.
Of course, you know what they say: Big hands, big feet...
...big gloves and big shoes.
I’m a size 12 so I must have a long..........life ahead of me.........
So Paris Hilton will outlive us all?
Woohoo! I’m gonna live forever!
At size 9, I have the littlest feet in my family. I guess we’re all going to live long and prosper...
My sister’s only 5’4” or so and still wears a size 10 1/2 or 11, and one of my brothers wears a 15!
Just thought I'd get that in there.
Clowns are eternal.
Dang, Rosie! I bet you folks don’t EVER fall down!
S’okay. I’d rather have big piedes than be topheavy.
What’re you saying, cc?
That people with big feet will always be able to find work?
They must have short feet in THAILAND!!!!
Me too - on all counts.
Are we related?
Wait, if there is Bangkok, then they must have big feet...?
You have to wonder what that guy is thinking...
Screw The Onion, huh?
Wonder if they miss all those hits?
I hope so.
I’ve been told that guys with big feet also require supersize condoms. Any comments ladies?
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