Posted on 09/19/2007 4:49:57 AM PDT by saveliberty
A piratical romp through the alphabet - with all that implies
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Got Pirattitude?
And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …
1. Prepare to be boarded.
Ghar, I remember this from goin on 2 years now!
Arrrrrrrrrr Matey, don’t be atellin this here pirate how ta talk.
The Pirate Song
Ray Stevens
Sixteen men on a dead man’s chest...yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
(Captain) Avast there mates, ye’re sailin’ with Long John Black Beard, Peg-Leg, Patch-Eye Hook, scourge of the bounding main. Bloodthirstiest, black-heartiest pirate captain ever sailed the seven seas, ha, ha, ha! What say ye we hoist the Jolly Roger, heel over the yonder Spanish galleon. Lay a few broadsides agin’ her timers, swing over on these here lanyards with our cutlasses in our teeth cut ‘em to ribbons and split the booty. What say ye to that, me hearties? Heh! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
(Twit) I don’t like it....
(Captain) You don’t like it?
(Twit) I don’t like it and I don’t wanna do it. It’s tacky,...tacky, tacky...and don’t look at me that way
(Captain) Well, if you don’t like it, what do you want?
Chorus I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance
I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
Wear me silver-buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants
I want to sing and dance
(Captain) You want to sing and dance, heh! You don’t like plundering, aye? Well, shiver me timbers ‘ow ‘bout treasuring, huh? Rubies, emeralds and pearls, gold doubloons and British sovereigns. Silver chalices encrusted with diamonds and jewels, necklaces and bracelets of every shape and size, fit for the crown heads of Europe, aye? And all buried in a pirate’s chest and I just happen to know where. How about that me bloodthirsty buckos, heh? Ha, ha, ha!
(Twit) I don’t like it.....
(Captain) You don’t like it?
(Twit) I don’t like it and I don’t want it....
(Captain) He don’t want it
(Twit) And I won’t do it...I’m an artiste
(Captain) An artiste, well mister artiste, what do you want?
Chorus I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance
I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
Wear me silver-buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants
I want to sing and dance
(Captain) Now, listen hear! This ain’t no floating Gilbert and Sullivan show, you know for some little flittin’ tinkerbell. This here be a black-hearted pirate ship and I would have you keel-hauled if you weren’t me own flesh and blood you little twit! So you don’t like plunderin’ aye?.....
(Twit) I don’t like it.....
(Captain) And you don’t want no treasurin’ ah?.....
(Twit) I don’t want it.....
(Captain) And you probably don’t want no groggin’ and revelin’ and wrenchin’ and rummin’ either I suppose?
(Twit) Well, deep down....you want to know the truth? It’s not me, I don’t want it.....
(Captain) Well, what do you want...as if I didn’t already bleein know?
(Twit) I want to sing and dance and.....
(Captain) I know, I know...and wear your tight little shiny pants. Huh! Okay...we’ll all sing and dance (pirates grumble)... I said we’ll all sing and dance (pirates grumble)... Or you’ll walk the plank,...one - two - free
(Chorus in pirates’ voices)
Chorus I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance
I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
Wear me silver-buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants
I want to sing and dance
(Over chorus, you hear the Captain and twit’s voice say)
(Twit) I like it....I like it
(Captain) I kinda like it me own self
(Twit) Thought you would
Sixteen men on a dead man’s chest...yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
(Twit) I don’t like rum...
(Captain) You don’t like rum?
(Twit) Well no, actually...well, I might like a little Perrier
(Captain) A little Perrier?
(Twit) With a lime in it...
(Captain) A lime in it?..... He wants a lime in it.....
(Twit) Well, do you have any Escargot?
(Captain) Escar..what?
(Twit) What’s the soup today?...
(Captain) Soup!?
(Twit) Might have a bit of a salad too!...
(Captain) Well, how about a bleeding fingerbowl?
(Twit) Maybe a croissant!...Is that right? Those French make everything so hard! Why didn’t they just call it a bun?
(fade out)
Nope!
Show me yer booty!.............
YARRRRRRRRRRRR Matey!!!!
Reminds me of the time in a bar in the Dry Tortugas, the barkeep commented on the the ships wheel stickin’ out of me fly…and I said ………..“ARRRR.. Aye matey, and its driving me nuts.”
From Elizabethan pirates, footpads, and highwaymen, to romanticized, roguish, rural American Southrons, to today’s urban black “Don’t snitch” culture. Interesting. Michael Vick’s an’ his dogfightin’ homeys often be Talkin’ Like a Pirate without the “Arrrrh!”, yo?
And, Mr. Cooke, your “Pooter” may refer to your computer, but many of today’s younger crowd will read (can many of them read?) “Pooter” as a companion word for “cooter”, both being “external female genitalia”.
Did you know that Pirates invented rap? Yep.
Yo, Ho Ho ring a bell?
....But I don't want to be a pirate!!!
Every September 19th, for several years, Hugh Hewitt (KRLA 3-6 PDT)has people call in with riddles or Pirate jokes. Every answer has to have ‘Aarrgghh’ in it. If you call in to his show, just be sure to talk like a pirate or he’ll disconnect the call. It’s a lot of fun to listen!
LOL!....(gasp).....LOL!
I’m going to Hell, now. Thanks. :)
Arg! I never in me life heard that song!
However, I do remember some Egyptian song and Guitarzan...oh, and The Streak...
Yarrr, ping!
Aye! And at end er twilight we’ll splice the mainbrace!
It’s hilarious! As are most of Ray’s songs!.............
http://www.videocaffe.com/video/04LlMoq8eks/gay-pirate
Watched the men who rode you switch from sail to steam. In your belly you can hold the treasures few have ever seen. Most of em dreams, most of em dreams.
Yes, I am a pirate, two hundred years too late. The cannons don't thunder, theres nothin to plunder, Im an over-forty victim of fate.
Arriving too late. Arriving too late.
Jimmy Buffett - A Pirate Looks At 40
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