****THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD****

Famous One-Liners and Action Heroes ^

[Lucky9teen]

 

Action Heroes - One Liners

The 1980s were the golden age of the one-liner, with the films of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Clint Eastwood, and the ascension of such screenwriters as Steven E. de Souza and Shane Black, who penned many of the decade's high-concept action and buddy movies (Die Hard, Commando, and Lethal Weapon chief among them). Yet, like many action film conventions, the one-liner has roots in other genres. In the landmark Western The Searchers (1956), John Wayne growled, "That'll be the day," prompting Buddy Holly to immortalize the catchphrase in a hit single the following year. And not only did the James Bond franchise give us "Bond—James Bond," but lines such as "Shocking! Positively shocking!"; "He had to fly"; and "He got the boot" prove that Bond also gave action films their penchant for punning. Throughout the series, Bond's cheeky dialogue defuses the emotion of a given scene, just as the one-liner does throughout the action genre.

Such glibness lays bare the action hero's core reticence. "I ain't got time to bleed," insists Predator's Jesse Ventura, who would repurpose the line for the title of his book, "I Ain't Got Time To Bleed: Reworking the Body Politic From the Bottom Up". Less quoted but even more germane is the declaration by Road House's Patrick Swayze, "Pain don't hurt." A contradiction, yes, but one that defines both the action hero and, more literally, one of the genre's most iconic roles: the title character of The Terminator.

That 1984 movie inaugurated Arnold Schwarzenegger's signature, "I'll be back." In this case, the one-liner is funny only in hindsight, as the cyborg comes right back, fully armed and with a pickup-truck-of-mass-destruction to boot. Reversing the typical action-sequence structure, the quip is the set-up, the violence is the punch line. There is nothing especially remarkable about "I'll be back" (it is not, after all, Cobra's "You're the disease, and I'm the cure," a line noted by the press six months before the film's 1986 opening). Even so, "I'll be back" distills the action movie's ritualistic appeal. The pleasure of hearing it said from movie to movie is the same as hearing a story told time after time.
 

Many one-liners are bad, if treasured, puns (Arnold put his stamp on "You're fired" long before Donald did). Others display a wit that we might grudgingly concede ("Barbeque, huh? How do you like your ribs?"). The one-liner is also remarkably versatile. It spans the grandiose ("I'm going to show you God does exist"; "I'm your worst nightmare") to the minimalist ("Get off my plane"; "Whoah"). It ranges from the functional ("Dead or alive, you're coming with me") to the iconic ("Go ahead … make my day"). And while some are uninspired ("It's time to die"), others are absurd ("I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass—and I'm all out of bubble gum"), self-referential ("No sequel for you"), and sardonic ("Go ahead … I don't shop here").  

Most one-liners articulate the hero's self-regard (or in Harry Callahan's case, regard for his .44 Magnum), and why shouldn't they? The action genre is primarily an exercise in hero-worship.

"Yippee Ki Yay Mother F***er!!"
~ John McClane

[girlscout]

Nip it in the bud.

[girlscout]

[JRios1968]

Who is your favorite Action Hero?

Unfair question...only Chuck Norris is capable of locating and applying a roundhouse kick to anyone who votes against him...

As for my favorite one-liner from the movies...

[JRios1968]

And he took some of his friends with him

[dragonblustar]

[007girl]

[tomkow6]

Mernin’, Star!

[BJClinton]

I really, really hate that movie. The future Mrs. BJClinton just loved it so I had to watch it so many times. Excruciating.

[dragonblustar]

[007girl]

I see we both like Wonder Woman! heehee

[dragonblustar]

She’s a classic : )

[JRios1968]

YKHIKYG?

The things we do for...raisybrow

[tomkow6]

A guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be a thousand dollars in it.

He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the jar?"

"Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money and the keys to a brand new CORVETTE Z07.

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up.

"What are the three tests?"

"Pay first, those are the rules," says the bartender.

So the man gives him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

"OK," the bartender says, " Here's what you need to do:

First - You have to drink that entire liter of pepper tequila, the whole thing, all at once .... and you can't make a face while doing it.

Second, Th ere's a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.

Third. There's a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never had an orgasm.

You've gotta make things right for her."

The man is stunned. "I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things..."

"Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is."

As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he asks,

"Where ez zat tequila?"

He grabs the litre with both hands and downs it with a big slurp.

Tears stream down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.

Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy scuffle going on outside. They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then . . silence.

Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body.

"Now," he says...
"Where's the old woman with the sore tooth?"

[nuke rocketeer]

There was a massive outcry against the plan to build a power line across a nature preserve. The public couldn’t bear the tension.

[nuke rocketeer]

Tinker Bell was arrested for being suspiciously high. But in the end she was only fined for glittering.

[nuke rocketeer]

What did the minister say to the underdressed layman? “No shoes, no shirt, no service”

[nuke rocketeer]

[nuke rocketeer]

[nuke rocketeer]

[nuke rocketeer]