Posted on 08/10/2007 5:13:24 PM PDT by snugs
This weekend's topic may seem morbid and maybe not the topic for a summer weekend but we did touch this subject slightly last week.
Death has an impact on all our lives whether we are single or not however it can be more poignant to those who are on their own as they do not have the backup of a spouse to ease the pain and sense of loss. It can also make us feel even more alone and desperate for a partner if the death is that of a parent.
Do you fear death either your own or a close friend or family member?
Does death impact how you lead your life ?
If you though you only had a short time to live how would that affect you in various aspects of your life and would you be honest about it when meeting someone new.
What are your thoughts about an after life?
Do you think that death is an acceptable subject for a social discussion or is it on your ban list?
Do you feel awkward and not know how to deal with someone if they advise that they have a life threatening disease or even more so if they have been told they do not have long to live?
The above is only intended as opener to the subject please feel free to discuss any topic relating to the above or anything that you wish to this subject is only designed to get the discussion moving this weekend but does not mean it limits us to this subject.
I must say though when mum was taken in for the last time even though there was nothing they could do for her she was immediately seen and put into the resuse area.
It was a Saturday but they quickly did tests and got results from the lab which confirmed that due to her frail condition there was not point in doing any more aggressive treatment.
If they had put her on life support her lungs would never have been strong enough to come off it and with her Alzheimer's as developed as it was it was kinder to just put fluids in her but let her go peacefully, which she did about 10 hours later. She was so dehydrated that they had to put the fluid in very slowly as otherwise it would have sent the body into total shock and she would probably have died of a heart attack or something similar.
They were great the only time I would say when the NHS does do what it should is when there is a real emergency and they acted quickly and kept me informed all the time. I was allowed to ring the ward every hour during the night and they rang me near the end. I did not get there in time but I believe that was providential as really I do not know how I would have coped with seeing her passing, I saw her just after and she was finally at peace. It was a strange way to begin Christmas Day but I can say in a way it was the best Chritsmas present I could have been given she was at long last at peace.
No I did not but sounds like a DVD to get when it comes out
I had to smile at your post. You sound a lot like me. When I was a young ‘un in Catholic school, we were told that we’d spend eternity glorifying God. Hmm, I don’t think that sounds like something I want to do. It also doesn’t sound like something God needs. Is God that insecure?
I don’t know if I have a picture of heaven. I certainly would like to see my loved ones again, but that’s about it. I’d like to be a spirit so I could come to earth and see the new movies. : ) I also wouldn’t mind haunting a few people, but that’s another thread. I’d like to see the other planets. There just seems like so much to do, why would I want to spend eternity in a heavenly choir?
Either I will drop dead while trimming the shrubs and the neighbors will notice the ravens after a few days, or I will expire indoors and the neighbors will notice the shrubs haven’t been trimmed by July.
I know little about the NHS (mostly the bad-mouthing they get from us conservatives here in the US) but it sounds like they did what they could. When there's no alternative but to let go of a loved one, then all you can ask is that they may leave in peace.
My own wife was able to do so, and in her own bed. I was there, as was one of her daughters. The other five daughters were called, and came immediately, to spend a little time with her before we called the mortician.
You know, I was so involved in writing about my stepfather that I forgot about dear GretchenM. I wonder if there has been a study about how the deaths of people with whom we only have an online relationship affect us?
Several FReepers I knew have died (I am still sad about Tonkin) and I am always surprised at how emotional I get about them. And of course, these deaths always get me thinking about my own mortality, do I have my affairs straight so my son won't have to struggle, etc.
yes that was in Jan of this year. Her son was college Junior & found dead in his dorm room. Age 21. PM revealed heart problems. Her hubby died at 39 with heart problems. That was a tough one.When we had the service the PM results were not in & of course many wondered about suicide.
Personally, I would talk frankly with my coworkers and really the supervisor, too, telling them your problem. also, Id see if a neighbor would’t mind calling and saying hi. I do not know your working situation so this suggestion may not work.
I was hospitalized in April with pneumonia, and discovered a single has another problem. Yes, I had some friends including my ex stop bye, and they were a big help, but I had to send one of them to Wal Mart to buy me some BVD’s and slippers, rather than have them look through my house for stuff. I also had them pick me up some sweat pants for poking around the hospital. I had a pocket RX for my eye drops, so I had my neighbor refill them. They had nothing to do with my pneumonia, but I needed them never the less.
SO.... Here is what I have done:
Made up a little awol bag with a couple of changes of BVDs and tee shirts.
Added sweats and slippers.
Added a pair of levis and a shirt so I could leave the hospital with clean clothes. (BTW, My ex washed my shirt and pants so I could get out w/ clean clothes LOL)(she is a nice lady)
Put in there my living will.
Put in there instructions on how to feed Crystal
Made up a telephone list of people to call.
Added $20 in ones and 5’s.
I keep the bag right beside my door, so the instructions on what to grab is simple.
I am open to suggestions as to what else to put in my bag.
Hope this idea helps you and anybody else
.....Bob
Confession:
A few years ago I created the FR Memorial Wall to remember FReepers that have died. I finally had to give up maintaining it because of the sadness I felt over every plaque I had to add.
As far as NOT going in to the ER? Oh brother. The worst of it is the wait. Last time it was SEVEN hours sitting in a hard chair (and with a fractured hip that ain't no picnic, let me tell you), listening to all the screaming, crying children ... imagining the germs that are being spread all over the place that I DON'T need to be picking up ... LOL ... the staff are wonderful. The nurses, the doctors, they are so very good. I have no complaints there. BUT the hours and hours of waiting and then when you do get a bed? More hours and hours of waiting to get the tests arranged, etc. etc. and with my hip? I needed the air mattress. The doctor ordered it. It never came. So, by the time I got out of there, I felt as if I'd been run over by the Hogwarts Express. I won't do it again. Not this little kitty. Thank you for understanding!
Thanks for starting the Wall..I think it is a wonderful idea.
Getting it up & going was the big step. Easy to add the additional links along the way. a few HTML links etc.
I wish more had pix.
I am like you. I avoid ER, hospitals, etc like the plague. Just like a prison is seething with criminals , a medical “HELP” facility is seething wtih germs.
good luck to you. - your ER waiting room experience sounds like a nightmare.. but unfortunately a common one.
Oh yeah. You bet. Couple of months ago my rheumatologist (I have Mixed Connective Tissue Disease - an autoimmune disorder) decided I needed a new medication so he put me on Nifediac. It CAUSED edema which caused blood clots which caused me to go in outpatient for ultrasound looking for blood clots which they found. They told me I’d have to go to the ER. I said, ‘nope’ and I ran off to Chinese lunch. LOL LOL I was found and spent the day in phone calls to my cell phone from four different doctors of mine telling me how critical this was and I needed tests and I had to go in ... I gave in. But it was a horrible, horrible experience and they promised me a direct admit (which it wasn’t) and they promised I’d have no trouble with it only being for the one night (which it was, thank God for having a big name doctor that the hospital KNOWS and respects) but even so, because of the fractured hip and the MCTD, I was in pain for the whole time and the only thing I could eat was a mini blueberry muffin. LOL I’m not in a real hurry to repeat the experience. AND I came home with a UTI. Very common. Nope. Not gonna do it.
One time my Rheumatologist tried Methotrexate on me. My heart rate went so low I spent 2 days in the Cardiac floor of the Hospital for observation.
Yeah I love when they decide to try a new medication. Now I just say ... ‘pass’ LOL
Evening peeps.
Today was my 30th birthday. Went to Medieval Times with Hoodie. I was knighted.
Sounds like fun
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