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****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
http://www.st-patricks-day.com/index.asp ^ | March 16, 2007

Posted on 03/16/2007 8:05:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

 

 

 

 

 

We celebrate Saint Patrick's Day each year on March 17th. The festive holiday has everyone wearing green (so they don't get pinched) and chatting of four leaf clovers, shamrocks, lucky leprechauns, drinking green beer and kissing some big rock called a blarney stone.

 

 

Want to be lucky this St. Patrick's Day? Follow this advice: 
 


1. Find a four-leaf clover.

2. Wear green (so you don't get pinched).

3. Kiss the blarney stone.

4. Catch a Leprechaun if you can. 

5. Drink as much green beer as your heart desires. 

  6. And don't forget that corned beef and cabbage.

 




         

 

"May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow and may trouble avoid you wherever you go!"

-Irish Blessing

 


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: fourleafclover; fridaysilliness; leprechaun; stpatricksday
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To: najida

He's not nice

http://www.horror.com/php/index.php?m=show&opt=enlarge&id=388


61 posted on 03/16/2007 8:47:17 AM PDT by Hoodlum91 (I support global warming.)
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To: Sax; Irish_Thatcherite; najida; Hoodlum91

Two leprechauns went to the convent and begged an audience with the mother superior. "Well, how can I help you little people?" asked mother superior. the larger and more intelligent looking of the leprechauns asked "oh mother superior, would you be knowing of any midget nuns here at the convent?" "No," says mother superior, "I don't have any midget nuns here at the convent" "all right than, mother superior, would you be knowing of any midget nuns in all of Ireland than?" "no, no," replied mother superior, "I don't know of any nuns who are also midgets in all of Ireland at all." "Well then mother superior, in all of nundom, in the whole world of all the nuns, would you be knowing, than, of any midget nuns?' "No, I would not, there are no midget nuns in the whole of the world!" replied mother superior, "and would you please tell me what this is all about!!?" The asking leprechaun turned sadly to the stupid leprechaun and said "see, its as I told you all along, you've been dating a Penguin"


62 posted on 03/16/2007 8:47:45 AM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: tomkow6

63 posted on 03/16/2007 8:49:01 AM PDT by Lady Jag (A positive attitude will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.)
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To: tomkow6
I'll drink to that!
LOL!! What, exactly, would you NOT drink to?

Hello my FRiend!
64 posted on 03/16/2007 8:49:39 AM PDT by GrandEagle
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To: ButThreeLeftsDo
Irish Horseshoes?


65 posted on 03/16/2007 8:49:56 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (I used 2 think people were factually ignorant but talking 2 liberals I realize people R just stupid.)
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To: Millee
Morning Millee!

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.

"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."

66 posted on 03/16/2007 8:50:24 AM PDT by girlscout
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To: sully777

Have you heard about the Irish boomerang?

It doesn't come back, it just sings songs about how much it wants to.


67 posted on 03/16/2007 8:50:33 AM PDT by Sax
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To: ButThreeLeftsDo; Sax; Irish_Thatcherite; Millee; baker_girl; Happygal

Question: What have Irishmen and Jesus Christ got in common?

Answer: They both lived with their mother until they were 33 and neither had a job.

Question:: How do we know that Christ was Irish?

Answer: Because he was 33 still lived at home thought his mother was a virgin and she thought he was the son of God.


68 posted on 03/16/2007 8:51:56 AM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: Hoodlum91

EEEK! (thanks for the link)


69 posted on 03/16/2007 8:52:50 AM PDT by najida (One day, a door opens, and you get a chance to start over. But the phone rings......)
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To: sully777
Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Flynn said, "Why do you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly, it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."

70 posted on 03/16/2007 8:52:54 AM PDT by girlscout
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To: Lucky9teen
A few Irish tunes...Enjoy!

Clannad - I Will Find You

Flogging Molly - Drunken Lullabies

Great Big Sea - Jack Hinks

Great Big Sea - Sally Ann

Loreena McKennitt - Dante's Prayer

Loreena McKennitt - All Soul's Night

Pogues & Dubliners - Jack's Heroes


71 posted on 03/16/2007 8:53:03 AM PDT by StarCMC (FR is a success, in spite of all...cats they've sacrificed ...demon gods they've prayed to. - Bryan)
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To: Lucky9teen
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A
cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"

"
Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.

"
Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
 
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"
Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

" Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"
For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
72 posted on 03/16/2007 8:53:06 AM PDT by MarineBrat (My wife and I took an AIDS vaccination that the Church offers.)
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To: sully777

Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Pat yelled:

"Mick! I lost me finger!"

"Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?"

"I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi...Damn! There goes another one!"


73 posted on 03/16/2007 8:53:18 AM PDT by Sax
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To: najida
My kind of island (although why they have a car, I don't know...)

74 posted on 03/16/2007 8:54:06 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (I used 2 think people were factually ignorant but talking 2 liberals I realize people R just stupid.)
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To: girlscout; Millee; Irish_Thatcherite; nuke rocketeer; Sax; Lucky9teen; najida; BJClinton; ...

As soon as she had finished parochial school, a bright young girl named Lena shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where before long, she became a successful performer in show business. Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday night went to confession in the church which she had always attended as a child. In the confessional Father Sullivan recognized her and began asking her about her work. She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that meant. She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing she did on stage. She stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, handsprings and backflips.

Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle-aged ladies. They witnessed Lena's acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the other: "Will you just look at the penance Father Sullivan is givin' out this night, and me without me bloomers on!"


75 posted on 03/16/2007 8:55:17 AM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: tomkow6

76 posted on 03/16/2007 8:55:23 AM PDT by CJ Wolf (St. Patrick's Day is my birthday)
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To: MarineBrat
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

77 posted on 03/16/2007 8:56:49 AM PDT by girlscout
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To: sully777
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do, Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

78 posted on 03/16/2007 8:59:55 AM PDT by girlscout
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To: Sax
An Irishman's been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says, "It's time". So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stands up, again falls flat on his face and decides to crawl the 4 blocks to his home.

At his door, he again tries to stand upright, falls and finally crawls through the door into his bedroom.

Reaching his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright, but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting loudly.

"So, you've been out drinking again!!"

"What makes you say that?" He asks as he puts on an innocent look.

"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there."

79 posted on 03/16/2007 9:01:02 AM PDT by girlscout
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To: Lucky9teen

80 posted on 03/16/2007 9:01:09 AM PDT by Lady Jag (A positive attitude will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.)
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