FLATULENT TURTLE SETS OFF ALARMS

DailyRecord.com.uk ^ | December 27, 2006 | None

[Ancesthntr]

A FLATULENT turtle set off an aquarium's fire alarm after being fed a Christmas treat of Brussels sprouts.

It broke wind and the bubble it created was so strong, it set off an emergency sensor inside its tank at the Sea Life Centre in Weymouth, Dorset, yesterday.

It indicated the water was at a dangerously high level, so marine biologist Sarah Leaney rushed to the aquarium.

Last night, she said: "When I got there, all seemed fine. I looked at the tube containing the sensor and saw a turtle beneath it.

"As I watched, a few large bubbles emerged from beneath him and rose to the surface next to the tube. Straight away, I realised what must have happened.

"We like to give all our animals a treat at Christmas and sprouts are a really healthy choice for sea turtles.

"But they do produce similar side-effects to those experienced by humans who eat too many sprouts."

[Ancesthntr]

You simply cannot make this stuff up!

I hope everyone enjoys the humor break, and that y'all have a happy, healthy and prosperous 2007.

[Lazamataz]

The world sits on the back of a turtle.

Ergo, global warming is caused by turtle farts.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Ah, the dreaded slow but deadly.

Instead of posting this as breaking news, we should have a new category titled "The Passing Scene."

[wazoo1031]

Oh Yeah!!

[BunnySlippers]

Oh man! Brussel Sprouts.

[samtheman]

Turtle #1: How are we going to get those guys to give us more brussels sprouts?

Turtle #2: I don't know. Go fart in the water level detector. See what that will do.

[andy58-in-nh]

Must have been Shell Gas.

[Bigh4u2]

"Must have been Shell Gas."

No.No. That would only be if clams farted.

:0)

[labette]

Cowabunga!

[navyguy]

Didn't know Ted Kennedy was visiting that aquarium.

[brooklyn dave]

Turtles farting, clams farting, enough already. Possibly a new energy source. Futire headline? "Farting turtle has the ability to keep 1/2 of Baghdad power grid working"

[brooklyn dave]

FUTURE---sorry for typo

[andy58-in-nh]

The Farting Clams would be a great name for a band, though.

[Redcloak]

The turtle blamed the dogfish.

[GOP Poet]

it would make a cute short story. I can just see her sitting there a bit worried watching the turtle and then poof, one bubble, poof, two bubble, and the look on her face, which must have been priceless--and no one around to laugh with, but her sitting there laughing all alone--the turtle farting away nonchalantly. Poor guy, it must 'av hurt a bit with all that noxious gas.

[martin_fierro]

The world sits on the back of a turtle.

Naah.

Nut gives birth to the Sun-god daily and he passes over her body until he reaches her mouth at sunset. He then passes into her mouth and through her body and is reborn the next morning.

It ain't pretty.

[Chickensoup]

Affects my brother the same way.

[brooklyn dave]

Andy: how about the "grebsting mollusks"---isn't grebst "to burp" in Yiddish?

[NonValueAdded]

Fire alarm yet a high water level sensor? Seems contradictory. Fire and water do not tend to play well together.

[andy58-in-nh]

That's right: greptsin is Yiddish for belching or burping. I don't know of any Yiddish word for mollusk or clam, but I guess there weren't too many of those around back in the Ukraine. On the other hand, with all the schmaltz (chicken fat) my grandmother used to cook with, burps were not hard to find. Happy New Year (urp!)