Posted on 10/16/2006 12:08:33 PM PDT by areafiftyone
Rules for Living With a Dog
1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a
specially built wooden compartment named, for very good reason, the dog house.
2. Okay, the dog can enter the house, but only for short visits or if
his own house is under renovation.
3. Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis, provided his dog house can be sold in a yard sale to a rookie dog owner.
4. Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is confined
to a comfortable but secure metal cage.
5. Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal along with the dog house in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever he pleases.
6. The dog is never allowed on the furniture.
7. Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture but not the new
furniture.
8. Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like
the old furniture and then we'll sell the whole works and buy new
furniture...upon which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.
9. The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.
10. Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed.
11. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside of me, but he's not allowed under the covers.
12. Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers but not with his head on
the pillow.
13. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside of me under the covers with his
head on the pillow, but if he snores he's got to leave the room.
14. Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares in bed, but he's not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room, where I'm now sleeping. That's just not fair.
15. The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaire as ''primary
resident,'' even if it's true.
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Strict House Rules for Stray Cats
Strict House Rules for Stray Cats
1. Stray cats will not be fed at this house, and are not to come inside for any reason.
2. Okay, the stray cat can hang around outside but will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
3. Okay, the stray cat will not be fed anything except dry cat food
moistened with a little milk.
4. Okay, the stray cat will not be fed anything except dry cat food
moistened with warm milk, yummy treats, and leftover fish scraps.
5. The stray cat will not be encouraged to make this house its permanent residence, and must stay outside and will not be petted, played with, or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.
(It starts to rain. Stray cat is now looking in the window with a pitiful
expression.)
6. Okay, the stray cat can come inside but must stay in the sunroom and off the furniture.
7. Okay, the stray cat that is in the sunroom can be petted, played with, picked up and cuddled but will absolutely not be given a name.
(Having canvassed the neighborhood, finding no one to claim the stray cat…)
10. The stray cat will be allowed to visit all the rooms of the house, but
will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen its claws on the furniture.
11. Okay, the stray cat will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.
12. Okay, the stray cat will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches and must leave the dog alone.
13. Okay, the stray cat can sharpen it’s claws on the furniture and pester the dog, but must answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.
14. Okay, the stray cat will answer the call of nature in the three-piece,
high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter in the
sunroom.
15. Okay, the stray cat will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room, because the dog retaliated for the cat’s attacks by turning over the plastic tray and liberally applying kitty-litter to an entire floor in the house.
16. The stray cat can sleep in the house, but will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
17. Okay, the stray cat will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow. But under no circumstances will the stray cat be allowed to sleep in our bed.
18. Okay, the stray cat will be allowed to sleep on our bed, but must stay at the foot and not under the covers.
19. Okay, the stray cat may sleep in our bed under the covers but must stay at the foot, and away from the dog.
20. Okay, the cat and dog can both sleep anywhere they want as long as they stop getting everyone in the house out of bed at regular intervals every night.
21. Okay, the cat can sleep anywhere it wants, but the dog has to sleep in the sunroom!
I left an spare dog house in the front yard, and a dog moved in.
Duke, my great dane is gone now, but I have a wonderful picture of him and my wife. Both are sound asleep on the bed. His head IS on the pillow. He is UNDER the covers. He was a good nap buddy.
Ahh, I love the one about the dogs, and sooo true!
You have saved me a lot of time, not to mention the expense of a dog house I would no doubt have been selling in a couple of months.<<<<<<<<
I'm not sure this would work with dogs, but in order to get the cats to deign to use a recently purchased 2 story kitty basketweave condo, I informed them all in a loud voice that they must NOT, under any circumstances, come near "my" new furniture. It took about 10' for one of them to move into the lower level, and now they race to see who will get there first.
If they're not comfortable,
they're pulling stunts like this!
I know from whence I speak.
I'm a cat person, but I love dogs, too (this is not like a Mets vs. Yankees thing, LOL!).
This photo is delightful, and I thank you for bringing it to my attention.
I especially like how the owner is blurred enough in the background, so the pup is the main focus. He pops right out at you! What an energetic doggie! Very cute. :o)
What a great idea! I have this sissal covered traffic cone looking thing that I've been trying to get the cats to claw up for over a year! I've tried putting catnip on it, and everything. I'll try this!
I'm so glad you got it even before the beginning!
O my gosh! That's my #1 cat! But she had to wait for me to do it. She's kinda "been there, done that" about it nowadays, but I remember her intensity, as she'd almost stick her face into the bowl! LOL!
lol.
ping
He's flying! lol
It's funny because it's true.
"he was taken in by the poor pitiful kitty act"
LOL! They have that "Hey, man I need a home" look and act down. Once you buy it you'll never see it again.
I have this sissal covered traffic cone looking thing that I've been trying to get the cats to claw up for over a year!<<<<<<<<<
I also tried the rope covered clawing devices, and finally hit on the one thing they will actually claw instead of my couch. It's the cheapo cardboard clawing thing that is like a small ramp, they literally fight over who gets to claw it. It has catnip sprinkled on it, and I put it right next to a reupholstered couch that they had thrashed. They haven't touched the couch since they got the cardboard thing.
The other solution to clawing furniture is Soft Paws, but either you have to have nerves of steel to attach them yourself, or be prepared to pay a groomer to do it.
Me: Good girl cat (Lainey), in bed, ALWAYS.
I love her more than anything in my life.
The furniture part sounds just like our house!!! We paid $1800 for a nice sectional, and I said at least 100 times that the furry children were not allowed on the furniture. I don't think it lasted an hour before all three had made themselves at home, including walking across the back of it!!!
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