Posted on 09/29/2006 6:23:35 AM PDT by SmithL
Because the statistics are ugly, getting uglier: Despite all divine hope and prayer to the contrary, it looks like baby-happy conservatives are outbreeding liberals by a margin of some 20 to 40 percent.
It's a fact. It's a trend. It's an onslaught. It's a dreadful soul-curdling predicament and the reasons for the Republican baby blitz are myriad, having to do with the lethal Christian belief that God really wants big narcotized families and birth control is a sin and, well, what the hell else are social conservatives gonna do with all that oily Halliburton stock and Lockheed Martin profit? Donate to charity? Buy some Implanon? Save the planet? Ha.
It is, as you can imagine, a looming catastrophe. But I am here to help. I am here to inspire the resistance, to propose solutions to this disastrous fertility gap and to help get liberals into the sack sans protection so they may go forth and multiply the number of people who adore "The Daily Show" and read actual books and think Aaron Sorkin is some sort of god.
Let me make the first offer right now: For every concerned well-educated progressive who reads this very column and agrees to have a child or two (instead of the increasingly common liberal alternative of, you know, getting a dog),
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
A young gay man from Rangoon
Took a lesbian up to his room
They argued the night
Over who had the right
To do what and with which and to whom.
Morford sure does find himself on a horny dilemma here.
You couldn't think of any locale that ends in "-oom"?
I agree - he's a terrible writer. I have the same education as you do, except that I took one Literature class in college.
Congratulations on the crawling. Don't let her eat furballs, very bad for the digestion!
I'm worried. This is a child who can get lost in contemplation in the woods and walk SMACK into a tree. My blood runs cold at the thought of her behind the wheel.
Well, I could have used Khartoum, but I doubt this scene would have happened there.
Excellent point. But Rangoon is in whatever they're calling Burma these days, and it has a very tedious military dictatorship that's No Fun.
Thailand, now ...
How come Little Miss Morford doesn't adopt a couple of African babies like Angelina Jolie?
Yes. Every gay couple must legally marry and adopt four babies for the cause.
It wouldn't have happened on Barsoom, either.
He's been pregnant?
Depends where you live. In Boston, the majority of attractive women seem to liberals.
I guess it's the opposite in Nashville.
He thought he was, but it turned out that he was just a little late.
I don't think Markie will be leading by example on this one...
It seems to me that the lethal beliefs are anything but Christian.
Those who voluntarily reduce their fecundity never affect the overall birthrate. They just disappear in a few generations.
Eventually, too high a birth rate could constitute a problem. But the current evidence indicates that better lifestyles tend to reduce the number of children born in each family, with each one having an increased likelihood of survival.
In some parts of the world, the destruction of family values has led to a concomitant destruction of families. Go figure.
I also found this to be a stupid and ugly comment:
... what the hell else are social conservatives gonna do with all that oily Halliburton stock and Lockheed Martin profit? Donate to charity?
Can't this dingbat read? The statistics on charitable giving are as one-sided as the numbers on fertility: conservatives have children AND give to charity.
Because Morford's entire existence is wrapped up in his anus - it's the absolute center of his universe, it's satisfaction always the first and only thing to be tended to, and having to take care of kids would only get in the way of that.
And that's why this latest sophomoric Morford rant will fall onto deaf ears. Liberals are far too narcissistic and self-absorbed to be bothered with kids. Kids require lots of time, love, attention and sacrifice, things that typical liberals will not provide as they go about worshipping themselves and seeking their instant gratification.
Eventually, even Morford might even recognize that, and liberals will realize that they're unwilling and/or unable to outbreed conservatives. That's when we'll start hearing about things like how China's "one child" policy needs to be adopted here.
Exactly. They won't adopt, in any significant numbers, for the same reason they won't give birth. Pregnancy and childbirth are not that big a deal; it's the rest of your life where parenthood really hits you.
Your fantasy world is nice, Bob.
My daughter and I are going to watch "To Kill A Mockingbird."
Later!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.