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The Official Friday Silliness Thread Salutes Silly Songs Part Deux
9-08-06 | Sully777

Posted on 09/08/2006 2:58:35 AM PDT by sully777

Blimey It's Friday--Crack A Tube!!!



Monty Python Bruce Sketch




TMBG: Birdhouse In Your Soul


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KEYWORDS: birdhouse; bonkbonkbonkbonkbonk; cartoons; deadpuppies; earcandy; earwax; earwig; friday; frivolousfreaks; itsfriday; kookookachoo; kumquats; moreyoutube; silliness; weekend; yipyipyahoo
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To: ArGee

An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank.
The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out.
When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"


201 posted on 09/08/2006 12:43:42 PM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: ArGee

I own it


202 posted on 09/08/2006 12:44:23 PM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: nuke rocketeer
Just what are you going to do to punish me?

Just for that, I'm sending in my wife!

Shalom.

203 posted on 09/08/2006 12:44:44 PM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: ArGee

The reason the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines squabble among themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For example, take a simple phrase like, "Secure the building."
• The Army will put guards around the place.
• The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
• The Air Force will take out a 5-year lease with an option to buy.
• The Marines will kill everybody inside and make it a command post.


204 posted on 09/08/2006 12:44:46 PM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: nuke rocketeer

yu beat me


205 posted on 09/08/2006 12:44:49 PM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: BenLurkin

You're the bird in the left corner???


206 posted on 09/08/2006 12:45:27 PM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: sully777

NO you don't !!!!!!!!!!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


207 posted on 09/08/2006 12:45:30 PM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: sully777
You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22

The customer flags down the waiter. "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup."

The waiter pours the soup in the man's lap and says, "Well, now it's the other way around."

Shalom.

208 posted on 09/08/2006 12:45:49 PM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: sully777

No no. White shirt -- upper right corner.


209 posted on 09/08/2006 12:46:04 PM PDT by BenLurkin ("The entire remedy is with the people." - W. H. Harrison)
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To: sully777; ArGee

An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices. After failing to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, he ended up shouting "I don't give two hoots for your shoes, man, I'll go and kill my own!"
The shopkeeper replied, "By all means. Just watch out for the two Marines who are doing the same.
"So the Ranger went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. "They must be the two Marines," he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The Marine stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer. Just as the beast was about to swallow him, the Marine struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already lay. Together the two Marines threw the gator onto its back, whereupon one exclaimed "Damn! This one doesn't have any shoes either!"


210 posted on 09/08/2006 12:46:23 PM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: nuke rocketeer
You guys can argue over who owns it. Don't forget who typed his fingers off trying to create it.

This room is dead today.

Shalom.

211 posted on 09/08/2006 12:46:56 PM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: sully777; ArGee

Reaction to Snakes
• Civilian: Runs away from the snake screaming.
• Paratrooper:Lands on and kills the snake.
• Armor: runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes.
• Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere kitty....Ouch! Hey, that's not a putty tat."
• Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Can't find snake. Back to base for crew rest and the club and some sort of drink called "The Snake."
• Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it.
• 2nd Ranger: Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly snakes.
• MI: analyzes all available intelligence and national asset input on the reptilian situation; reports sighting of Godzilla to National Command Authority.
• JAG: Advises the snake on the rules of engagement and the law of war as it pertains to the snake and its defensive posture.
• Quartermaster: Captures snake and applies a National Stock Number (NSN) to it. Implements a Found On Installation (FOI) procedure and picks up snake on property book. Has company commander sign hand receipt for "Snake, Green, One Each," as non-expendable unit property.
• Chemical Corps: Starts to gas the little booger, but then realizes that there is an M-18, A-2 Respirator especially made for snakes, remembers the Chemical Corps Motto, "UTRWBAG" (Up Their Rear With Bugs and Gas), and conducts three experiments on it that have been strictly prohibited by the Clinton Treaty of 1999.
• Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats to safety.
• Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with a massive TOT with three FA BDEs in support. Mission is considered a success and all participants (cooks, mechanics, clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.
• Marine Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost.
• Pathfinder: Guides the snake elsewhere.
• AF Fighter Pilot: Mis-identifies the snake as a Russian HIND helicopter and engages it with missiles. Crew chief paints a snake on airplane.
• AF Pararescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.
• Green Beret: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes.


212 posted on 09/08/2006 12:47:14 PM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: ArGee

Hey, I'm doin' my share of carrying the load!!!!!!!!!

It's not an OFST if I can't punish everyone.....


213 posted on 09/08/2006 12:48:14 PM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: sully777

Giant Mutant Flies Are Attacking Mount St. Helens (Again)

214 posted on 09/08/2006 12:49:15 PM PDT by weegee (Remember "Remember the Maine"? Well in the current war "Remember the Baby Milk Factory")
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215 posted on 09/08/2006 12:50:19 PM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: ArGee

The Prayers of Officers
One day, three O-6s were hiking together and unexpectedly came upon a wide, raging, biolent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.
The Air Force Colonel called out to God, praying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river."

POOF!
God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across. It did, however, take him more than an hour and he almost drowned a couple of times.
Seeing this, the Army Colonel played to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and tools to cross this river."

POOF!
God gave him a rowboat and oars. He was able to row across but it still took almost an hojr, it was very rough, and he almost capsized several times.
The Navy Captain saw how things worked out for the other two, so when he prayed to God, he said, "Pleae God, give me the strength, tools, and the intelligence to cross this river."

POOF!
God turned him into a Marine Lance Corporal. He looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, and walked across the bridge.


216 posted on 09/08/2006 12:51:21 PM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: nuke rocketeer
We are the stealthy Green Toupees
Skulking nights and snoozing days
A team of silent, nasty men
Who all think Sorehead's numbah ten.

Draw their fire.
Flank on right.
Narcs retire.
Fight, team! Fight!

Using every dirty trick
From booby-trap to pungee stick.
We hardly need the strength of thirty
When we can win by playing dirty.

Two-four-six-eight
Tiptoe, sneak, and infiltrate
Cha-cha-cha.

from "Bored of the Rings" by The Harvard Lampoon.

Shalom.

217 posted on 09/08/2006 12:52:15 PM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: KevinDavis
Your Deadly Sins
Lust: 60%
Gluttony: 20%
Sloth: 20%
Envy: 0%
Greed: 0%
Pride: 0%
Wrath: 0%
Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%
You'll die from overexertion. *wink*
How Sinful Are You?

218 posted on 09/08/2006 12:55:42 PM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: Auntbee
Napoleon Suave sez...


Greetings and salutations.
219 posted on 09/08/2006 12:56:15 PM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: ArGee

My church accepts any denomination. But they prefer tens and twenties.


220 posted on 09/08/2006 12:57:03 PM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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