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"Charm school" helps men perfect the pick-up
Yahoo! News ^ | Mon Aug 14, 8:59 AM ET | Matthew Verrinder

Posted on 08/17/2006 4:42:10 AM PDT by 7thson

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Ben had a rough Friday night picking up women on the Hotel Gansevoort's balcony after being coldly rejected by two attractive blonds.

The 23-year-old documentary filmmaker, who asked his last name not be used for fear of ridicule, suffers from an acute case of "premature ejectulation" -- ejecting himself early from promising conversations with women for fear of rejection.

Such was the diagnosis from the coaches of "Charm School Boot Camp," a three-day crash course on seducing women that Ben and five other men paid $1,600 apiece for in early August.

"If I were to look at it objectively, I would feel really good about it, and then just leave," Ben said.

Ben is not the only man with crippling fears when it comes to chatting up women. That's why Charm School, run by an Ann Arbor, Michigan-based company called Charisma Arts, has no problem finding men who need intense guidance and fieldwork approaching women at places like bookstores and bars.

"People think we're teaching guys with no confidence who are bad with women," said Charisma Arts co-founder Wayne Elise. "We teach guys how to be themselves in a very unnatural environment, how to cold approach strangers and make them comfortable enough to open themselves up."

Charisma Arts runs weekend Charm School seminars in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, London and Sydney. Some students find out about the course from the company's Web site, www.charismaarts.com.

The Charm School's lesson plan stays away from canned lines and instructs men to think on their feet when talking to women, to put their insecurities aside and react naturally to a women's subtle cues, said Johnny Saviour, 21, a Charisma Arts instructor.

The class starts on Friday afternoon with the instructors going over Elise's attraction theory. They then practice the theory by approaching each other as if they were women, and they do word association exercises to get their minds tuned into keeping a conversation with a woman rolling.

After a night approaching women at a bar or club, the instructors hold a debriefing the next morning and go over what the participants did right and wrong. Then they head out again to hit on more women.

THE MORNING AFTER...

Ben and the five other participants, ranging in age from 21 to 43, met with their four coaches Saturday at a McDonald's near Union Square, the morning after a deflating evening of hitting on women at the Gansevoort.

Sam, a stocky, recent college graduate from Boston with shaved head and thick chain around his neck, said he is tired of sleeping with "drunk chicks" and wants to learn how to properly "pursue and attain" the women of his choice.

Tim, 23, a New York piano tuner, said his new full-time job makes it hard for him to meet women.

"This was something I was willing to splurge on," said Tim, who also did not want to give his last name. "I live in a city with millions of women, and I want to meet some of them."

Ben said that despite his lack of luck with women on Friday night, he tried to "learn a little from each interaction."

Forty minutes later, he was standing in a nearby Barnes & Noble book store, eyeing a small woman in a hat and glasses who was thumbing through a book. He sidled up to her and took a book from a shelf near her, but she didn't notice him and soon walked away without talking to him.

"A lot of guys defeat themselves right away," Saviour whispered, looking on. "If he thinks she's not interested, he'll clam up. That's exactly what happened."

To get Ben back on track, Savior has him talk to a male store clerk so he can interact with another person without pressure. Soon, Ben approaches another woman but she too walks away without noticing him.

"I feel a bit shaken up," Ben said after his latest rejection. "There is information coming from a lot of different places. I feel a bit like a pickup artist."

By the early hours of Sunday at a crowded rooftop bar on Fifth Avenue, Ben finally has a confident glow. Other Charm School students are partying on the fringes of a drunken bachelorette party full of New Jersey women.

But Ben, dressed in a dark shirt and slacks and standing tall in the middle of the crowd, has already talked to four groups of women by 11:30 p.m., made some connections and is on the lookout for more.

Just a day into Charm School, Ben says he has begun to absorb some of its tenets, like honestly justifying to the women why he has approached them, genuinely stating their uniqueness, then making slight, gentlemanly physical contact, like a touch of the arm at just the right time.

"I would say in terms of last night's performance, I've definitely found my path to fulfillment," he said. "Last night I felt uncomfortable, but I've taken in what they've taught me. I've been myself, and it's worked."


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: charmschool; dating; imsolonely; men; pickup; singles; swingbatterbatter; women
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To: snudge
Haven't we met somewhere before?

My favorite and most successful,

So, will those red shoes take me all the way to Kansas? The standard reply is "my name is not Dorothy" to wit, you respond "what is your name...my name is...

has about a 60% success rate.

21 posted on 08/17/2006 5:00:06 AM PDT by Ouderkirk (Don't you think it's interesting how death and destruction seems to happen wherever Muslims gather?)
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To: 7thson

>>>>Such was the diagnosis from the coaches of "Charm School Boot Camp," a three-day crash course on seducing women that Ben and five other men paid $1,600 apiece for in early August.

$1,600??? For 3 days?

ROFL! Is this run by people from Nigeria?


22 posted on 08/17/2006 5:00:30 AM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: goldstategop

Just go to Russia. The women there just fall into your lap. In fact you'd almost have to beat them away with a stick.


23 posted on 08/17/2006 5:01:13 AM PDT by shekkian
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To: goldstategop
Women have heard all the "canned" lines and as pickup lines,

Yes, that's their natural defense mechanism against guys like you.
24 posted on 08/17/2006 5:01:17 AM PDT by Vision (God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love and self-discipline 2Timothy1)
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To: 7thson
This is funny stuff.

I preferred the direct approach in my younger days.

You had to invite 50 to a hundred of the fairer sex to a consensual "roll in the hay" before you lit upon a receptive responder. But in the meat markets of suburban Chicago in the '80's it was a target rich environment.

An hour of applied schmooze usually resulted in a pleasant post-partying rendezvous.

Excellent return on investment time. The only downside was the occasional slap in the face. But that, too, could be turned in your favor with a quick grin and and soft "thanks for your time" for the onlookers that were on the prowl for a "manly-man".

25 posted on 08/17/2006 5:01:24 AM PDT by woofer (It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.)
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To: 7thson
Other Charm School students are partying on the fringes of a drunken bachelorette party full of New Jersey women.

Talk about throwing cold water on an otherwise titillating mental picture!

26 posted on 08/17/2006 5:01:34 AM PDT by HIDEK6
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To: Vision

bump!


27 posted on 08/17/2006 5:03:36 AM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: Calpernia
That works out to about $525 a day and includes tuition and room and board. I wonder if that's the discount package for the most expensive city in America and you can imagine the going rate for mid-priced hotel room in the New York City area.

(No more Olmert! No more Kadima! No more Oslo!)

28 posted on 08/17/2006 5:04:07 AM PDT by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: Vision

"Most men who go up to women blind are looking to get laid. It's useless to teach men more "lines" or whatever."

And what are the women in the bars looking for? You don't go to a bar looking for love. Its more to have a drink, watch the people, and maybe go home with someone for dangerous casual encounters.


29 posted on 08/17/2006 5:05:16 AM PDT by driftdiver
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To: 7thson

Wow, this guy sounds like a real winner, doesn't he? What ever happened to just being honest with the ladies?


30 posted on 08/17/2006 5:05:42 AM PDT by geezerwheezer (get up boys, we're burnin' daylight!!!)
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To: driftdiver

In the bar mentioned in the story both the men and women are looking for a career move...


31 posted on 08/17/2006 5:06:04 AM PDT by durasell (!)
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To: Ouderkirk
My favorite and most successful,

My favorite is, "Hey baby, while you're up, get me another beer, will ya?"

The percentage of beers I get isn't very high, but I know that the ones that do get me the beer have a proper attitude.

32 posted on 08/17/2006 5:06:12 AM PDT by HIDEK6
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

The party was probably set up by the school to help justify their courses.


33 posted on 08/17/2006 5:06:16 AM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: 7thson

34 posted on 08/17/2006 5:07:29 AM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: 7thson
Some of the worst:

"Are you tired? Cuz you've been runnin' through my mind all day..."

"That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?"

" I may not be Fred Flintstone but I could make your Bedrock "

"Do you sleep on your stomach or can I?"
35 posted on 08/17/2006 5:08:59 AM PDT by reagan_fanatic (Get off my lawn!)
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To: geezerwheezer
Like you would tell a lady you want to do the horizontal mambo? Apart from making you look like a jerk, it shows you're completely desperate. No woman's attracted to an overly needy guy.

(No more Olmert! No more Kadima! No more Oslo!)

36 posted on 08/17/2006 5:09:06 AM PDT by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: 7thson

You mean "Your legs must be tired 'cause you've been runnin' through my mind all night" doesn't really work?


37 posted on 08/17/2006 5:09:26 AM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: HIDEK6
Ahem!


38 posted on 08/17/2006 5:09:34 AM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: Lurker

Bingo.


39 posted on 08/17/2006 5:09:55 AM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: reagan_fanatic
They're not overly funny. At least the sexually suggestive lines aren't. Would you consider having sex with a total stranger you just met? I'd say you would be out of your mind considering accepting a proposition from someone you don't even know!

(No more Olmert! No more Kadima! No more Oslo!)

40 posted on 08/17/2006 5:12:03 AM PDT by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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