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8/15/2006
| G8 Diplomat
Posted on 08/15/2006 1:02:20 PM PDT by G8 Diplomat
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Your turn...
To: G8 Diplomat
What fun! Here's one said by a nice pregnant lady in an obstetrician's office where I worked years ago, after I handed her the card with her blood type on it.
"B+. That's the same kind I had last time!"
2
posted on
08/15/2006 1:05:32 PM PDT
by
American Quilter
(You can't negotiate with people who are dedicated to your destruction.)
To: G8 Diplomat
Outside an Autozone...
Car with hood up, folks replacing something
My daughter asks, "Having trouble with your car"?
I said, "No they just like parking outside an auto shop with the hood up".
Here's your sign.
She wasn't as amused as the rest of us.
3
posted on
08/15/2006 1:06:06 PM PDT
by
gov_bean_ counter
( Helen Thomas on anticipating and handling a crisis: "I'll live under that bridge when I get to it.")
To: G8 Diplomat
"It's raining outside". Well, duh! Unless it's one humungous enclosed building like the Vehicle Assembly Building at Cape Canaveral, it's going to rain outside.
4
posted on
08/15/2006 1:07:32 PM PDT
by
NCC-1701
(RADICAL ISLAM IS A CULT. IT MUST BE ELIMINATED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH.)
To: G8 Diplomat
The day my daughter called a Q- tip and EAR-TWIG still amuses us.
5
posted on
08/15/2006 1:09:03 PM PDT
by
alisasny
(Cynthia McKinny..INTERNATIONAL BLACK FEMALE CONGRESSPERSON OF MYSTERY)
To: G8 Diplomat
Someone I love very much once said "That lion is so cute! He looks just like a big cat."
A few days later, I told this person "Shoot the ocean sunset from where I'm standing, so that line of shimmering light on the water will line up with the camera."
6
posted on
08/15/2006 1:09:16 PM PDT
by
Petronski
(Living His life abundantly.)
To: American Quilter
A woman at work was complaining about how degrading it felt to have a colonoscopy...
I told her, "Don't worry, if the hospital staff ever saw you in public, they'd never recognize your face."
7
posted on
08/15/2006 1:11:23 PM PDT
by
gov_bean_ counter
( Helen Thomas on anticipating and handling a crisis: "I'll live under that bridge when I get to it.")
To: G8 Diplomat
I feel a lot more like I do now than I did a few minutes ago. - some stoner at some party
To: G8 Diplomat
If you go on that road and get killed you will be dead.
9
posted on
08/15/2006 1:19:02 PM PDT
by
mware
(Americans in armchairs doing the job of the media.)
To: G8 Diplomat
10
posted on
08/15/2006 1:25:06 PM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Ask not what the government can do for you. Ask why it doesn't.)
To: G8 Diplomat
The setup...: Years ago, hubby and I were taking a driving tour of our neighborhood, the State of Alaska. We were in a remote area, somewhere near the Arctic Circle, I think, when we came across some derelict old ruins of several log buildings.
Me: "Wow! I'll bet this place used to BE someplace, once!"
11
posted on
08/15/2006 1:25:29 PM PDT
by
redhead
(Alaska: Step out of the bus and into the food chain)
To: G8 Diplomat
I heard a woman on the morning radio chatter station say, "we have evolved so much, our penicillins don't work any more." I hooted and pointed at my radio.
12
posted on
08/15/2006 1:27:03 PM PDT
by
prion
(Yes, as a matter of fact, I AM the spelling police)
To: All
An ad in the paper looked like this:
One Day Sale! Friday-Saturday
(Even if it began at midnight on Friday and ended at midnight on Saturday, it would still technically be 2 days...)
To: G8 Diplomat
This past Saturday in my local McDonald's the lady in line in front of me asks the girl working at the register:
"Is there egg on the Egg McMuffin?"
Honest.
14
posted on
08/15/2006 1:37:26 PM PDT
by
day10
(Whenever you come near the human race, there's layers and layers of nonsense.)
To: G8 Diplomat
Several years ago I was having my teeth cleaned. Not being entirely up to speed on dental jargon I referred to plaque as plankton. The dentist, trying very hard not to laugh, corrected me. Something along the line that he would deal with my plaque, and the next time he had a whale for a patient ... he'd take care of the plankton.
15
posted on
08/15/2006 1:41:40 PM PDT
by
BluH2o
To: BluH2o
16
posted on
08/15/2006 1:42:26 PM PDT
by
Millee
(A joke then, a joke N.O.W.)
To: day10
You know how when we have babies, we moms put little bows in our daughter's hair and dress her in pink, so that everyone will know she's a girl? Or we dress boys in blue so it's clear they are masculine? I once remarked to my husband that our son was so masculine, "I'd know he was a boy even without any clothes."
It was probably a hormonal thing.
17
posted on
08/15/2006 1:46:07 PM PDT
by
Chanticleer
(Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point. Lewis)
To: G8 Diplomat
A very dear friend of mine once said, when someone started to tell a joke about a minority group, "Stop it. I don't like ethical jokes!"
18
posted on
08/15/2006 2:11:11 PM PDT
by
Theresawithanh
(Every time I hear the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.)
To: American Quilter
"Is this horse meat?" My wife asked my neighbor who had spent hours making a brisket. (she asked me before we got there what kind of meat is brisket and I told her "brisket is horse")
19
posted on
08/15/2006 2:12:31 PM PDT
by
CJ Wolf
To: redhead
Me: "Wow! I'll bet this place used to BE someplace, once!"LOL! Hi redhead!
20
posted on
08/15/2006 2:18:03 PM PDT
by
American Quilter
(You can't negotiate with people who are dedicated to your destruction.)
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