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Funniest One-Liners
Sky News (U.K.) ^
| 8/14/06
| Staff
Posted on 08/15/2006 7:43:53 AM PDT by Millee
Peter Kay's "Garlic bread, it's the future - I've tasted it" has been voted the best comedy one-liner ever.
The line featured in his one-man show and was later aired in his cult comedy Phoenix Nights.
It's funny, but is it really the funniest line ever? Is there a one-liner you can think of that has had you in stitches? Have you ever had your work colleagues cracking up with a one-line beauty?
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: comedy
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To: Millee
121
posted on
08/15/2006 11:33:14 AM PDT
by
Defiant
(Let the Muzzies travel on their own airlines so they don't endanger the rest of us.)
To: Millee
That could be your new tagline! ;o)It would be, if I could remember it. Sixty senior moments a minute are more than a body can take.
122
posted on
08/15/2006 11:35:52 AM PDT
by
Mike Bates
(Irish Alzheimer's victim: I only remember the grudges.)
To: Mike Bates
123
posted on
08/15/2006 11:49:21 AM PDT
by
Millee
(A joke then, a joke N.O.W.)
To: teenyelliott
Not me, just quoting Rodney.
"When she wanted me to get on top, I had to get a ladder. I finally got on top and my ears popped. A fat girl, I tell ya!!"
124
posted on
08/15/2006 11:52:20 AM PDT
by
fredhead
(Women want me....Fish fear me....I can dream can't I?)
To: teenyelliott
You ever see this movie?
125
posted on
08/15/2006 11:55:44 AM PDT
by
fredhead
(Women want me....Fish fear me....I can dream can't I?)
To: fredhead
I loved that movie.
"What're you, the last member?"
126
posted on
08/15/2006 12:12:21 PM PDT
by
teenyelliott
(Soylent green should be made outta liberals...)
To: Millee
T shirt: If I got smart with you, how would you know?
-Eric
127
posted on
08/15/2006 12:27:31 PM PDT
by
E Rocc
(Myspace "Freepers" group moderator)
To: Lady Jag
"Every time I hear the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate."
ROFLOL! That is me, to a T! I'm gonna shamelessly steal that for my tagline.
128
posted on
08/15/2006 1:37:45 PM PDT
by
Theresawithanh
(Every time I hear the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.)
To: fredhead
"I asked the taxi driver to take me where the action is, he drove me to my house."
To: fredhead
"You might be a redneck if......" you're too drunk to go fishing.
130
posted on
08/15/2006 1:47:32 PM PDT
by
Mike Darancette
(I'll have the duck with mango salsa.)
To: Millee
When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box... I was an only child... eventually.
-- Steven Wright
To: andy58-in-nh
Groucho: You go down the coast highway, turn left, and cross the river on the viaduct.
Chico: I gotta one question. Vy a duck? Vy not a cheeken?
Groucho: You try to cross that river on a chicken, you'll find out viaduct.
132
posted on
08/15/2006 1:50:53 PM PDT
by
SAJ
To: Theresawithanh
The benefits of chocolate
know no bounds.
133
posted on
08/15/2006 1:52:03 PM PDT
by
Lady Jag
(Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated)
The difference between a porcupine and a BMW is the number of pricks.
134
posted on
08/15/2006 2:12:12 PM PDT
by
hillarynot
(I play in Peoria)
To: Millee
My dad to me in my teenage years when I was having problems with my car...
"I don't think there's anything wrong with your car other than the nut behind the wheel!"
135
posted on
08/15/2006 2:36:38 PM PDT
by
Theresawithanh
(Every time I hear the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.)
To: Millee
Hey! I've GOT washboard abs . . . I just happen to have a load of laundry on then at the moment.
I'd be willing to do anything to the body of a Greek god . . . except diet and exercise. - Steve Martin
136
posted on
08/15/2006 2:56:16 PM PDT
by
Sergio
(If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound?)
To: Sergio
I'd be willing to do anything to the body of a Greek god . . . except diet and exercise. - Steve MartinShould read.
I'd be willing to do anything to have the body of a Greek god . . . except diet and exercise. - Steve Martin
Of course the first way is funny in it's own way.
137
posted on
08/15/2006 2:59:03 PM PDT
by
Sergio
(If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound?)
To: SAJ
138
posted on
08/15/2006 2:59:17 PM PDT
by
andy58-in-nh
(Diplomacy cannot substitute for victory against an opponent who wants to eliminate you.)
To: EveningStar
139
posted on
08/15/2006 4:15:06 PM PDT
by
bd476
To: bd476
What's the difference between a saloon and an elephant fart? One is a barroom and the other is a bar-ROOM!
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