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Crime: Five Fat Girls Sought
The Smoking Gun ^
| 10 Aug 2006
Posted on 08/10/2006 2:45:41 PM PDT by llevrok
AUGUST 9--Robbery is never funny. Except when it's described by Toledo police officers with a peculiar sense of humor.
Early this morning, Scott Gibson, 44, was returning from the grocery store with a gallon of milk when, as he told cops, he was surrounded by "5 fat black girls" in the parking lot of a Kentucky Fried Chicken. As described by officers Patrick Sutherland and Kristi Eycke in the below Toledo Police Department incident report, one of the "hefty felons" asked Gibson to surrender his milk.
Believing that he was being pranked, Gibson just laughed at the request. But, as cops reported, he realized it was no joke when the "rotund robbers" began "pelting him with a flurry of chubby fists." After the assailants tore the milk from his hands, they relieved Gibson of his Motorola cell phone.
He was unable to provide a detailed description of the attackers, except to estimate that the women were in their twenties.
Presumably the quintet slinked off into the night looking for some poor soul carrying a box of Devil Dogs.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: chubbyfists; cookies; fatchickalert; gimmeyomilk; heftyfelons; milk
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Young women can never get too much calcium.
1
posted on
08/10/2006 2:45:43 PM PDT
by
llevrok
To: llevrok
2
posted on
08/10/2006 2:46:15 PM PDT
by
Xenalyte
(I dub thee Sir Phobos, Knight of Mars, beater of ass.)
Comment #3 Removed by Moderator
To: llevrok
How can you NOT find a gang of 5 fat black chicks?
4
posted on
08/10/2006 2:47:34 PM PDT
by
freedumb2003
(The Democrat Party stands for open treason in a time of war.)
To: llevrok
5
posted on
08/10/2006 2:48:19 PM PDT
by
Calpernia
(Breederville.com)
To: llevrok
OMG LOL Is this satire?
6
posted on
08/10/2006 2:50:09 PM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Ask not what the government can do for you. Ask why it doesn't.)
To: llevrok
To: llevrok
Nice to read a report that's not "PC" censored for a change.
To: llevrok
To: llevrok
"5 fat black girls"Oh no you didn't say that!
10
posted on
08/10/2006 2:54:49 PM PDT
by
dead
(I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
To: martin_fierro
I think it was the Mary Tyler Show theme song what started all this female agression.
11
posted on
08/10/2006 2:55:13 PM PDT
by
llevrok
(When you take my gin from my cold, dead hand....)
To: llevrok
Karl Rove is behind this.
To: dead
I did ot say that. That's how it was reported in The Smokinggun.com (he said, dodging the Mods)
13
posted on
08/10/2006 2:56:31 PM PDT
by
llevrok
(When you take my gin from my cold, dead hand....)
To: llevrok
To: llevrok
Robbery is never funny.
Oh I don't know about that.
15
posted on
08/10/2006 3:00:32 PM PDT
by
cripplecreek
(If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?)
To: Baynative
They'll probably prosecute the victim for a hate crime.
16
posted on
08/10/2006 3:38:18 PM PDT
by
pissant
To: llevrok
Here's four suspects for ya'....
17
posted on
08/10/2006 3:51:25 PM PDT
by
GoldCountryRedneck
("It's never too late to have a happy childhood" - unknown)
To: llevrok
"The Devil made me do it!"
18
posted on
08/10/2006 3:59:26 PM PDT
by
Palladin
(Ad in Hezbollah Herald: Human Shields wanted. Free housing.)
To: llevrok
They should check my workplace.
We seem to have an affirmative action program for fat chicks.
Odd, when you consider that they cost just as much or more per hour than the other sort.
To: windcliff
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