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Windows Gives No Tongue
SFGate ^
| Friday, July 14, 2006
| By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Posted on 07/14/2006 10:34:06 PM PDT by Swordmaker
Reminder: Microsoft's bloated OS is truly terrible in the sack. But a Mac will make you moan
It has those beady little eyes. It has that seedy come-hither stare. It has overstretched pleather pants and million-dollar gold caps over stained teeth, through which glides that famously shrill voice that seems at once tempting and full of promise and yet also more than a little whiny, deceptive, ill.
"Aww c'mon, baby," Windows pleads, kneeling at the foot of the bed. "This time it'll be different, I promise." It coughs that familiar phlegmy hack, like a busted Dell motherboard scraped over of a lumpy C++ programmer.
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Computers/Internet; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: morford; whatthe; wtf
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To: Swordmaker
OMG, does anyone really read this crap? Even if I was confused about my masculinity, I'd be embarrased by this cretin.
To: 1234; 6SJ7; Action-America; af_vet_rr; afnamvet; Alexander Rubin; anonymous_user; ...
WARNING! This SFGate article is filled with adult oriented humor and in-you-Window...
PING!.. sort of...

If you want on or off the Mac Ping List, Freepmail me.
3
posted on
07/14/2006 10:38:26 PM PDT
by
Swordmaker
(Remember, the proper pronunciation of IE is "AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!")
To: Swordmaker
""I'll give it to you good, baby. Send you to the moon! To the stars! To the iTunes Music Store without a single sudden inexplicable freeze!"
"It is, of course, the same old story, the same old come-on, Win once again acting all smooth and charming but completely unable to avoid that world-famous sheen of BS propaganda, coupled with a smell that's a disquieting cross between wet plastic and old cardboard and roughly 10 billion collected hours of lost productivity."
Aren't just about all computers windows? and surely almost all productive business computers.
4
posted on
07/14/2006 10:39:07 PM PDT
by
ansel12
To: Larry Lucido
OMG, does anyone really read this crap? Even if I was confused about my masculinity, I'd be embarrased by this cretin. It's being published by a MAJOR American Newspaper... but consider the location... San Francisco.
5
posted on
07/14/2006 10:39:54 PM PDT
by
Swordmaker
(Remember, the proper pronunciation of IE is "AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!")
To: Swordmaker
This has WTF??? written all over it...8^)
6
posted on
07/14/2006 10:42:11 PM PDT
by
rzeznikj at stout
(ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
To: Swordmaker
Or, as Savage sez:
Sin Fran-freako...8^)
7
posted on
07/14/2006 10:42:49 PM PDT
by
rzeznikj at stout
(ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
To: Larry Lucido
It's Morford, what did you expect.
8
posted on
07/14/2006 10:45:13 PM PDT
by
darkangel82
(Higher visibility leads to greater zottability.)
To: Swordmaker
How's this for alliteration: "Miss Mark Morfort Moans over Mighty Macs"
To: Larry Lucido
How's this for alliteration: "Miss Mark Morfort Moans over Mighty Macs" I like it...
10
posted on
07/14/2006 10:57:58 PM PDT
by
Swordmaker
(Remember, the proper pronunciation of IE is "AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!")
To: rzeznikj at stout
I'm a Mac fan, but I really wish Morford used Linux. There are some people you'd just as soon not have on your side.
To: Richard Kimball
I use Linux, but wished I ran OS X...8^)
12
posted on
07/14/2006 10:59:46 PM PDT
by
rzeznikj at stout
(ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
To: Richard Kimball
Even a broken clock is right every eight pulses.
13
posted on
07/14/2006 11:09:50 PM PDT
by
SlowBoat407
(What is our exit strategy in the war on poverty?)
To: Swordmaker
what a gay drama queen.. :\
To: Swordmaker
huh, imagine that... a homosexual likes macs... hmm who woulda thunk it?
To: Swordmaker
There's a floppy disk joke in there somewhere...
16
posted on
07/14/2006 11:39:32 PM PDT
by
SunkenCiv
(updated my FR profile on Wednesday, June 21, 2006. https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
To: Richard Kimball
I know. I'm so embarrassed.
17
posted on
07/14/2006 11:42:54 PM PDT
by
stands2reason
(ANAGRAM for the day: Socialist twaddle == Tact is disallowed)
To: Richard Kimball
There are some people you'd just as soon not have on your side. I agree.
18
posted on
07/15/2006 12:15:06 AM PDT
by
coconutt2000
(NO MORE PEACE FOR OIL!!! DOWN WITH TYRANTS, TERRORISTS, AND TIMIDCRATS!!!! (3-T's For World Peace))
To: Swordmaker
If anything might keep me from ever using a Mac again this would.
Seriously, companies should pay him not to endorse their products.
19
posted on
07/15/2006 4:54:19 AM PDT
by
avg_freeper
(Gunga galunga. Gunga, gunga galunga)
To: Swordmaker
isn't frisco 30-35% homosexual?
20
posted on
07/15/2006 5:10:19 AM PDT
by
1234
(WHO is Responsible for ENFORCING IMMIGRATION LAWS?)
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