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Windows Gives No Tongue
SFGate ^ | Friday, July 14, 2006 | By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

Posted on 07/14/2006 10:34:06 PM PDT by Swordmaker

Reminder: Microsoft's bloated OS is truly terrible in the sack. But a Mac will make you moan

It has those beady little eyes. It has that seedy come-hither stare. It has overstretched pleather pants and million-dollar gold caps over stained teeth, through which glides that famously shrill voice that seems at once tempting and full of promise and yet also more than a little whiny, deceptive, ill.

"Aww c'mon, baby," Windows pleads, kneeling at the foot of the bed. "This time it'll be different, I promise." It coughs that familiar phlegmy hack, like a busted Dell motherboard scraped over of a lumpy C++ programmer.

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Computers/Internet; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: morford; whatthe; wtf
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1 posted on 07/14/2006 10:34:07 PM PDT by Swordmaker
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To: Swordmaker

OMG, does anyone really read this crap? Even if I was confused about my masculinity, I'd be embarrased by this cretin.


2 posted on 07/14/2006 10:38:05 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: 1234; 6SJ7; Action-America; af_vet_rr; afnamvet; Alexander Rubin; anonymous_user; ...
WARNING!

This SFGate article is filled with adult oriented humor and in-you-Window...

PING!.. sort of...

If you want on or off the Mac Ping List, Freepmail me.

3 posted on 07/14/2006 10:38:26 PM PDT by Swordmaker (Remember, the proper pronunciation of IE is "AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!")
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To: Swordmaker

""I'll give it to you good, baby. Send you to the moon! To the stars! To the iTunes Music Store without a single sudden inexplicable freeze!"

"It is, of course, the same old story, the same old come-on, Win once again acting all smooth and charming but completely unable to avoid that world-famous sheen of BS propaganda, coupled with a smell that's a disquieting cross between wet plastic and old cardboard and roughly 10 billion collected hours of lost productivity."



Aren't just about all computers windows? and surely almost all productive business computers.


4 posted on 07/14/2006 10:39:07 PM PDT by ansel12
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To: Larry Lucido
OMG, does anyone really read this crap? Even if I was confused about my masculinity, I'd be embarrased by this cretin.

It's being published by a MAJOR American Newspaper... but consider the location... San Francisco.

5 posted on 07/14/2006 10:39:54 PM PDT by Swordmaker (Remember, the proper pronunciation of IE is "AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!")
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To: Swordmaker

This has WTF??? written all over it...8^)


6 posted on 07/14/2006 10:42:11 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
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To: Swordmaker

Or, as Savage sez:

Sin Fran-freako...8^)


7 posted on 07/14/2006 10:42:49 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
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To: Larry Lucido

It's Morford, what did you expect.


8 posted on 07/14/2006 10:45:13 PM PDT by darkangel82 (Higher visibility leads to greater zottability.)
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To: Swordmaker

How's this for alliteration: "Miss Mark Morfort Moans over Mighty Macs"


9 posted on 07/14/2006 10:47:19 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: Larry Lucido
How's this for alliteration: "Miss Mark Morfort Moans over Mighty Macs"

I like it...

10 posted on 07/14/2006 10:57:58 PM PDT by Swordmaker (Remember, the proper pronunciation of IE is "AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!")
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To: rzeznikj at stout

I'm a Mac fan, but I really wish Morford used Linux. There are some people you'd just as soon not have on your side.


11 posted on 07/14/2006 10:58:35 PM PDT by Richard Kimball
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To: Richard Kimball

I use Linux, but wished I ran OS X...8^)


12 posted on 07/14/2006 10:59:46 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
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To: Richard Kimball

Even a broken clock is right every eight pulses.


13 posted on 07/14/2006 11:09:50 PM PDT by SlowBoat407 (What is our exit strategy in the war on poverty?)
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To: Swordmaker

what a gay drama queen.. :\


14 posted on 07/14/2006 11:25:06 PM PDT by Echo Talon
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To: Swordmaker

huh, imagine that... a homosexual likes macs... hmm who woulda thunk it?


15 posted on 07/14/2006 11:26:24 PM PDT by Echo Talon
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To: Swordmaker

There's a floppy disk joke in there somewhere...


16 posted on 07/14/2006 11:39:32 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (updated my FR profile on Wednesday, June 21, 2006. https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: Richard Kimball

I know. I'm so embarrassed.


17 posted on 07/14/2006 11:42:54 PM PDT by stands2reason (ANAGRAM for the day: Socialist twaddle == Tact is disallowed)
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To: Richard Kimball
There are some people you'd just as soon not have on your side.

I agree.

18 posted on 07/15/2006 12:15:06 AM PDT by coconutt2000 (NO MORE PEACE FOR OIL!!! DOWN WITH TYRANTS, TERRORISTS, AND TIMIDCRATS!!!! (3-T's For World Peace))
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To: Swordmaker
If anything might keep me from ever using a Mac again this would.

Seriously, companies should pay him not to endorse their products.

19 posted on 07/15/2006 4:54:19 AM PDT by avg_freeper (Gunga galunga. Gunga, gunga galunga)
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To: Swordmaker

isn't frisco 30-35% homosexual?


20 posted on 07/15/2006 5:10:19 AM PDT by 1234 (WHO is Responsible for ENFORCING IMMIGRATION LAWS?)
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