http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/1665232/posts?page=700#700
Liberals are to intelligence as Rosie O'Donnell is to ____.
Here it is.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/1665232/posts?page=700#700
Sexy.
beauty.
I guess in situations like this we don't realize how many Americans could be traveling to these countries. Not being much of traveler myself...
Wish I had a joke to share but I will pray for you that you will have a safe journey home Rebel_yell2...soon.
Hey dolly, don't know if you heard about FReeper rebels predicament but he is stuck in Beirut.
Started a thread for prayers, jokes, & chat. Do you have any lists you can ping to help lighten his mood & let him know were here for him?
What did the Hispanic firemen name his two hoses?
Could be worse. Could be at the Super 8 Motel in Cleveland.
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/
That's -10 west coast time.
Current time Friday, July 14, 2006 at 5:45:10 AM + posting
But you will rescue Shepard Smith and his whining?
Well, the UN chief is sending a team to the Middle East to deal with the "major crisis"...
Jokes huh?
OK, I got one.........
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Cindy Crawford, Petra Nemcova and Kate Moss were walking through the desert. The sun's getting hotter and they realized they were going to get sunburned, so Cindy pulls a bottle of sun block out of her purse. Boba Fett, who's become a nomad in this desert, rides up on a motorcycle and offers to lend a hand. Sure, the girls say.
So he rubs down Cindy, then he rubs down Petra, and then he stops. Kate Moss takes her shirt off and says "My turn", and Boba Fett whips out his laser pistol and shoots her dead. Cindy and Petra scream "Why did you do that?" and Boba Fett goes "A Roving Clone slathers no Moss."
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restroom's so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
Whiskey. Preferrably Kentucky bourbon.