Posted on 06/09/2006 8:17:22 AM PDT by sully777
FRANKFURT (Reuters) - German police have arrested a man on suspicion of murdering a woman with a sausage.
Prosecutors and police said the 50-year-old was arrested after the woman's body was discovered in an apartment in Zwickau, eastern Germany. They said she had choked on a Bockwurst, a popular large German sausage.
The prosecutors said the man had given a patchy account of events, acknowledging that he may have "administered" a Bockwurst to the woman. They are now working to establish exactly what happened in the run up to her death.
Yup. All the cool kids were either banned or hanging out somewhere else for fun. FR is just for politics.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and are considering banning your entire family from shopping in any of our stores.
We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.
Mr. Wally Zimbrowski,
Wal-Mart Complaint Department
Re: Mr.. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping:
1. June 15 - Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2 - Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7 - Made a trail of pineapple juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19 - Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares"..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4 - Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.
6. September 14 - Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15 - Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'd bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. September 23 - When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4 - Looked right into the security camera, used it as a mirror, and picked his nose!
10. November 10 - While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knew where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3 - Darted suspiciously around the store, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6 - In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18 - Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME, PICK ME!"
14. December 21 - When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO, NO, It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. December 23 - Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while, then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
The thread's only as good as the contributions to it, ya slacker.
LMAO!
Thanks for the great ideas, I can't wait to go to the Wal-Marts and try some of these. I really like the condom trick and the alarm clocks.
Semper Fidelis
I agree, I love the OFST, I don't contribute much, yet. (I've been reading it every Friday for the past 6 months)
I am trying to learn how to post pix, when I've figured it out I'll be able to contribute some good stuff.
Semper Fidelis
Easy as 1...2...3
Ok well maybe easy as 1...2...3...4...5 but its still easy.
Well, I guess I had, but to be honest, my mind was in the gutter and I was thinking about an involuntary anal insertion, if you get my drift?
Aw...poor Ling Ling...
WTF?????
Dogs Head Soup perhaps?
Damn, my work filter blocked it...URGH! :(
Wow, those are pretty cool. :)
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