Posted on 06/05/2006 7:18:09 AM PDT by presidio9
A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.
"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.
"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."
The incident, Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.
Not named "Daniel", was he?
Must have been a troll!
Death by Darwin, irony by God.
That may nave been the problem
The lion was busy.
God: "I knew Daniel. Daniel was a good friend of mine. You sir, are no Daniel."
nave = have. Doh!
Well, since the man demonstrated, at least to his own satisfaction, that God does not exist and that he, himself, is just meat-on-a-stick walking upright, I sure hope they let the lion finish eating him.
God does exist.
The unfortunate event occurred while the deceased read the Russian translation of "The Da Vinci Code". The long stated phrase, "God protects the ignorant," was inadvertantly translated, "God protects the arrogant."
The only official available for comment was Commander Cheko of the Starship Enterprise who said, "I think it was a matter of this one man's prayer nullified by the hundreds of on-lookers praying, `God, please kill this stupid S. O. B.'."
It is also reported that eyewitnesses observed the lion kneel and pray, "Lord, I thank thee for this food we are about to receive." The Vatican has refused to acknowledge this as a miracle because "clearly this lioness is a protestant, or she would have invoked the name of Benedict Joseph Labre.
John Edwards, famed host of the Sci-Fi Channel's series, Crossing Over with John Edwards, has shared with us this account of the man's encounter with God after the man's death. "He gave me this account of his first meeting before the judgement seat of God," Edwards explained.
Edwards continued, "The man stood before god and said, "Lord, I do not understand. Why was I eaten by the lioness?" and the Lord replied, "I don't understand it either. I put up signs, do not feed the animals, and a thick concrete wall between the lioness and the people."
If guys would just read the instructions things like this could be avoided.,
Yeah, but he can only do it once.>
But the Lioness can do it over and over again...
Or maybe he refused to stop and ask for directions...
Exactly what I was thinking ... argument settled ...
bump
Stupidity abounds. Darwin Award.
And that was that.
Cats are vicious. Our cat has recently been leaving decapitated rabbits around the yard. Allah Catbar!
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