To: sionnsar; A CA Guy; airborne; Allegra; Baraonda; bentfeather; calrighty; clamper1797; Darkchylde; ..
A stupid question deserves an appropriate answer....
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador retriever and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
5,216 posted on
07/31/2006 11:55:14 AM PDT by
Monkey Face
(The REAL sister of the REAL redhead. REALLY!)
To: Monkey Face
5,217 posted on
07/31/2006 11:57:41 AM PDT by
Tax-chick
(I've always wanted to be 40 ... and it's as good as I anticipated!)
To: Monkey Face
5,218 posted on
07/31/2006 11:58:10 AM PDT by
Knitting A Conundrum
(Act Justly, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly With God Micah 6:8)
To: Monkey Face
5,219 posted on
07/31/2006 11:58:22 AM PDT by
fanfan
(WAW - Women Against Weenification!)
To: Monkey Face
LOL! Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you are one!
5,226 posted on
07/31/2006 12:05:06 PM PDT by
Lady Jag
(True genius sees with the eyes of a child and thinks with the brain of a genie)
To: Monkey Face
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!
5,227 posted on
07/31/2006 12:06:17 PM PDT by
Irish_Thatcherite
(A vote for Bertie Ahern is a vote for Gerry Adams!|The IRA are actually terrorists, any questions?)
To: Monkey Face
GAWD. You owe me a new laptop! Sheesh!!
5,228 posted on
07/31/2006 12:07:23 PM PDT by
StarCMC
("The word of muslims will never, ever override what our U.S. Marines say." - TheCrusader)
To: Monkey Face
5,232 posted on
07/31/2006 12:13:13 PM PDT by
Old Sarge
(I am the Man from Nantucket...)
To: Monkey Face
5,244 posted on
07/31/2006 12:36:12 PM PDT by
TASMANIANRED
(The Internet is the samizdat of liberty..)
To: Monkey Face
Sheer hysterics, here!!
So VERY glad to have finished my coffee already; backflushing my sinuses with hot mocha ain't my idea of fun.
5,250 posted on
07/31/2006 12:45:57 PM PDT by
HKMk23
(Teach your children war that your grandchildren may know peace.)
To: Monkey Face
5,251 posted on
07/31/2006 12:48:16 PM PDT by
Tulsa Brian
(This is Jim Rockford. At the tone, leave your name and number and I'll get back to you...)
To: Monkey Face
Did she note that you are of the wrong sex to have said "Balls"?
Cute joke... ;-)
5,261 posted on
07/31/2006 1:03:21 PM PDT by
Dead Corpse
(It is not the oath that makes us believe the man, but the man the oath.- Aeschylus)
To: Monkey Face
LOL
To: Monkey Face
5,353 posted on
07/31/2006 2:22:49 PM PDT by
freedumb2003
(A Conservative will die for individual freedom. A Liberal will kill you for the good of society.)
To: Monkey Face
To: Monkey Face
rotflmRao!
that's the funniest story that i've heard lately.
free dixie,sw
5,360 posted on
07/31/2006 2:35:19 PM PDT by
stand watie
( Resistance to tyrants is OBEDIENCE to God. -----T.Jefferson)
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