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Ten Things You Need to Know to be a Republican
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Posted on 03/27/2006 8:04:25 PM PST by ruthles

My Democratic friend just emailed me this. Can anybody help me write a refutation????? PLease!!


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KEYWORDS: helpfreepers; paragraphobia; paragraphsdiediedie
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To: jdm; ruthles
ruthles ...

Looks like you just copied/pasted from an email. That's the lazy way! A visit to the sandbox and/or bootcamp is in order.

It would be quicker to learn html coding than to write 100 times html is my friend.

I am a huge nerd, as well ... and had never even heard of html coding until 6 months ago. It is not hard to learn and not hard to do ... just do it.

21 posted on 03/27/2006 8:18:15 PM PST by caryatid (Jolie Blonde, 'gardez donc, quoi t'as fait ...)
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To: ruthles
Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail is expected.

Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans in '06 and '08.

Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

22 posted on 03/27/2006 8:19:15 PM PST by Muleteam1
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To: ruthles

> > > > Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:
> > > > > > > > Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
> > > > > > > > > > Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
> > > > > > > > > The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
> > > > > > > > A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
> > > > > > > > The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
> > > > > > > > If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
> > > > > > > > A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
> > > > > > > > Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
> > > > > > > > HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
> > > > > > > > > > Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
> > > > > > > > A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
> > > > > > > > Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
> > > > > > > > The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
> > > > Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
> > > > > > > > What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
> > > > > > > > Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail is expected.
> > > > > > > > Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans in '06 and '08.
> > > > > > > > Friends don't let friends vote Republican. > >


23 posted on 03/27/2006 8:19:19 PM PST by Killborn (Pres. Bush isn't Pres. Reagan. Then again, Pres. Regan isn't Pres. Washington. God bless them all.)
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To: RightOnline

Friendly fire. She's looking for rebuttal.


24 posted on 03/27/2006 8:20:54 PM PST by Killborn (Pres. Bush isn't Pres. Reagan. Then again, Pres. Regan isn't Pres. Washington. God bless them all.)
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To: Killborn
Because that's much better. /sarc

Actually, you do get bonus points for doing that.

It's like me taking this:

>>>>>askldr3ejadsoifja>>>>>odsfadf>>opewaiufdasjlv

and then correcting it to:

>>>>>askldr3ejadsoifja

>>>>>odsfadf

>>opewaiufdasjlv

You see, it is still garbage, either way.
25 posted on 03/27/2006 8:23:56 PM PST by jdm
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To: Killborn

Yes......that was my response to the original author and my recommended response to ANYONE spouting such tripe.


26 posted on 03/27/2006 8:24:39 PM PST by RightOnline
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To: Killborn
Oh yeah,....you fixed it.

Are you my Congressman?

27 posted on 03/27/2006 8:25:21 PM PST by Osage Orange (Molon Labe)
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To: jdm

At least it's readable.


28 posted on 03/27/2006 8:26:14 PM PST by Killborn (Pres. Bush isn't Pres. Reagan. Then again, Pres. Regan isn't Pres. Washington. God bless them all.)
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To: ruthles
Sounds like your friend set out --- successfully, to use you to get her crap posted where it would never otherwise appear. And you went along with the scam.

Congratulations.

I have never seen that many straw men presented back to back.
If you feel the need to respond, you need as much help as she does.

29 posted on 03/27/2006 8:27:03 PM PST by Publius6961 (Multiculturalism is the white flag of a dying country)
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To: Osage Orange

All right, all right...

Note to self: arrows bad.

Personally I thought it's not too bad.


30 posted on 03/27/2006 8:27:25 PM PST by Killborn (Pres. Bush isn't Pres. Reagan. Then again, Pres. Regan isn't Pres. Washington. God bless them all.)
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To: RightOnline

Ok then.


31 posted on 03/27/2006 8:28:07 PM PST by Killborn (Pres. Bush isn't Pres. Reagan. Then again, Pres. Regan isn't Pres. Washington. God bless them all.)
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To: ruthles

http://www.treachery.net/~jdyson/humor/liberal_beliefs.html

Drug addiction is a disease that should be treated with compassion and understanding...unless the addict is a Conservative talk show host.

The United States should be subservient to the United Nations. Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a collective of tinpot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N. charter.

Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for abuse, but should pass new and unConstitutional anti-gun laws because of the potential for abuse.

Calls for increased security after a terrorist attack are "political opportunism," but calls for more gun control after a criminal's spree killing is "a logical solution."

"It Takes a Village" means everything you want it to mean...except creeping socialist government involvement in the nuclear family.

Disarming innocent, law-abiding citizens helps protect them from evil, lawless terrorists and other thugs.

Slowly killing an unborn innocent by tearing it apart limb from limb is good. Slowly killing an innocent disabled woman by starving her to death is good. Quickly killing terrorists, convicted murderers and rapists is BAD.

Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn't Christianity.

The best way to support our troops is to criticize their every move. This will let them know they're thought of often.

Sexual harassment, groping and drug use are degenerate if you're the governor of California, but it's okay if you're the President of the United States.

Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.

Minorities are blameless for the hatred of the racist; women are blameless for the hatred of the rapist; but America is entirely at fault for the hatred of Islamofascists.

Poverty is the cause of all terrorism...which is why the leaders of al Qaeda are typically U.S.-educated and were raised in wealth and luxury.

The Patriot Act is a horrific compromise of Constitutional rights, but anti-Second Amendment laws and Franklin Roosevelt's Presidential Order 9066 must be regarded "reasonable precautions."

We should unquestioningly honor the wishes of our age-old allies, even when said allies no longer act like our allies and have vested economic interests in propping up our enemies.

Socialized medicine is the ideal. Nevermind all those people who spend every dime they have to get to the United States so they can get quality medical care...that their nation's socialized medical community can't provide.

Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly qualified to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlton Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.

John Lott's research on how gun ownership reduces crime is junk science, but Michael Bellesiles is still an authority on why gun control is good (even though he was forced to resign from Emory due to research misconduct over his book "Arming America").

Bush's toppling the Saddam regime was a "diversion," but Clinton's lobbing a couple of cruise missiles at Iraq in the thick of the Lewinsky sex scandal was "sending a message."

A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who references sixteen words from an allies' intelligence report should be dragged through the streets naked.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning Second Amendment rights and shopping the courts for judges sympathetic to causes that wouldn't pass in any legislature.

"The People" in the First Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Fourth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Ninth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Tenth Amendment means The People; but "the People" in the Second Amendment (ratified in 1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in 1903).

You support a woman's "right to choose" to kill her unborn child, but don't believe that same woman is competent enough to homeschool the children she bears.

Proven draft-dodging is irrelevant, but baseless claims of AWOL status is crucial to national security.

Threatening to boycott Dr. Laura's and Rush Limbaugh's advertisers is "exercising Freedom of Speech," but threatening to boycott CBS's The Reagans and Liberal actors over their asinine anti-American remarks is "censorship" and "McCarthyist blacklisting."


32 posted on 03/27/2006 8:29:23 PM PST by mwyounce
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To: Killborn
Note to self: arrows bad.

LOL!!

Arrows are your friends. At least the ones I use during bow season.....

FRegards,

33 posted on 03/27/2006 8:32:23 PM PST by Osage Orange (Molon Labe)
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To: FreedomCalls

I think there wre a couple of earlier "To Be a Democrat" threads.


34 posted on 03/27/2006 8:33:30 PM PST by TBP
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To: Osage Orange

Clarification: Internet arrows bad.

Real arrows good. :)


35 posted on 03/27/2006 8:35:26 PM PST by Killborn (Pres. Bush isn't Pres. Reagan. Then again, Pres. Regan isn't Pres. Washington. God bless them all.)
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To: Killborn

I didn't think it was so bad. :-)


36 posted on 03/27/2006 8:37:05 PM PST by Tired of Taxes (That's taxes, not Texas. I have no beef with TX. NJ has the highest property taxes in the nation.)
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To: FreedomCalls

Bump


37 posted on 03/27/2006 8:39:14 PM PST by misterrob (Islam is a hate crime)
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To: Publius6961; ruthles
Sounds like your friend set out --- successfully, to use you to get her crap posted where it would never otherwise appear.

At least here it will be refuted and laughed at. ;-)

38 posted on 03/27/2006 8:48:44 PM PST by Tired of Taxes (That's taxes, not Texas. I have no beef with TX. NJ has the highest property taxes in the nation.)
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To: mwyounce; ruthles

For the Dems, you should throw in there:

"Unemployment is at an all-time high, but there is more than enough work for people who sneak into the country illegally."

"American companies and businesses should be taxed and unionized into oblivion, but it's a crime that they go to other countries looking for workers."

"Education should be as low-quality and sub-standard as possible. Wait a minute! Why are businesses going overseas for more skilled workers again?"

"Minimum wage should be higher. Wait a minute! Businesses are going overseas again!!! It must be Wal-Mart's fault."


39 posted on 03/27/2006 8:52:03 PM PST by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: ruthles

The list your friend passed along just shows how much Democrats twist facts and their supporters follow them blindly. There is so much misinformation on that "list" that it's not worth your time refuting every point. ;-)


40 posted on 03/27/2006 8:54:53 PM PST by Tired of Taxes (That's taxes, not Texas. I have no beef with TX. NJ has the highest property taxes in the nation.)
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