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Humorous Similes (Vanity)
2/14/2005
| snardius
Posted on 02/14/2006 9:58:01 AM PST by Snardius
Post your favorite similes. Funny ones preferred. The best will be rewarded with my list of favorite Country/Western song titles...
TOPICS: Humor; The Poetry Branch
KEYWORDS: funny; satire; similes
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I'm first;
Colder than a well-diggers a$$...
Grinning like a dog eating peanut butter out of a wire brush...
1
posted on
02/14/2006 9:58:02 AM PST
by
Snardius
Comment #2 Removed by Moderator
To: Snardius
Or how about:
Busier than a one-legged man in a @ss kicking contest.
3
posted on
02/14/2006 10:01:48 AM PST
by
NerdDad
To: Snardius; mikrofon; martin_fierro
I never metaphor I didn't "like."
To: Snardius
I'm off like a bride's nightie!
To: Snardius
More worthless than tits on a bull.
You know, like a RINO. Or a Liberal.
6
posted on
02/14/2006 10:04:09 AM PST
by
trubluolyguy
(Where did they get those ref's, the WWE?)
To: Snardius
I know from long experience that my men have all the artistic talent of a cluster of color-blind hedgehogs... in a bag.
SD
To: Snardius
Poor as a church mouse.
strong as an ox,
cute as a button,
smart as a fox.
thin as a toothpick,
white as a ghost,
fit as a fiddle,
dumb as a post.
bald as an eagle,
neat as a pin,
proud as a peacock,
ugly as sin.
When people are talking
you know what they'll say
as soon as they start to
use a cliché.
8
posted on
02/14/2006 10:26:28 AM PST
by
saganite
(The poster formerly known as Arkie 2)
To: saganite
Light as a feather
Stiff as a board
To: SoothingDave
10
posted on
02/14/2006 10:36:08 AM PST
by
Snardius
(And you KNOW what I'm talking about...)
To: saganite
That's very impressive...
11
posted on
02/14/2006 10:36:53 AM PST
by
Snardius
(And you KNOW what I'm talking about...)
To: Snardius
That's good...very good. It is. It's from the old BBC series "Blackadder," a veritable goldmine of wit.
SD
To: Snardius
Not mine. Google is a wonderful thing.
13
posted on
02/14/2006 10:43:45 AM PST
by
saganite
(The poster formerly known as Arkie 2)
To: Snardius
Pardon the vulgarity but:
I gotta piss LIKE a racehorse!
To: Chi-townChief
I gotta piss LIKE a racehorse! Do you know why this simile exists?
Because state regulators collect urine samples from the top finishers in horse races, to make sure there is no doping of the animals going on.
SD
To: Snardius
Colder that a brass toilet seat in the Yukon! ...
In January! ...
Out back in the outhouse!
Now thats COLD!
16
posted on
02/14/2006 11:00:08 AM PST
by
cuz_it_aint_their_money
(Replacing Dan Rather with Katie Couric is like replacing an idiot with an imbecile.)
To: Snardius
Make like a baby and HEAD out.
17
posted on
02/14/2006 11:15:23 AM PST
by
chapin2500
(The road to hell is paved with liberals.)
To: Snardius; Charles Henrickson; mikrofon
This thread is as vane as a fan blade.
To: Snardius
Slicker than deer guts on a door knob.
Hotter than two rats screwing in a wool sock.
As useless as hen sh!t on a water pump handle.
Uglier than a picture on an iodine bottle.
19
posted on
02/14/2006 11:35:39 AM PST
by
w_over_w
(Don't tell me to go to your BLOG . . . just tell me how your day was.)
To: chapin2500
20
posted on
02/14/2006 11:37:31 AM PST
by
pikachu
(I must be be built upside down -- my nose runs and my feet smell!)
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