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I'm first;

Colder than a well-diggers a$$...

Grinning like a dog eating peanut butter out of a wire brush...

1 posted on 02/14/2006 9:58:02 AM PST by Snardius
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To: Snardius

Or how about:

Busier than a one-legged man in a @ss kicking contest.


3 posted on 02/14/2006 10:01:48 AM PST by NerdDad
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To: Snardius; mikrofon; martin_fierro

I never metaphor I didn't "like."


4 posted on 02/14/2006 10:02:49 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Or "as.")
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To: Snardius

I'm off like a bride's nightie!


5 posted on 02/14/2006 10:04:04 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (They say that Down Under.)
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To: Snardius

More worthless than tits on a bull.



You know, like a RINO. Or a Liberal.


6 posted on 02/14/2006 10:04:09 AM PST by trubluolyguy (Where did they get those ref's, the WWE?)
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To: Snardius
I know from long experience that my men have all the artistic talent of a cluster of color-blind hedgehogs... in a bag.

SD

7 posted on 02/14/2006 10:21:03 AM PST by SoothingDave
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To: Snardius

Poor as a church mouse.
strong as an ox,
cute as a button,
smart as a fox.

thin as a toothpick,
white as a ghost,
fit as a fiddle,
dumb as a post.

bald as an eagle,
neat as a pin,
proud as a peacock,
ugly as sin.

When people are talking
you know what they'll say
as soon as they start to
use a cliché.


8 posted on 02/14/2006 10:26:28 AM PST by saganite (The poster formerly known as Arkie 2)
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To: Snardius

Pardon the vulgarity but:

I gotta piss LIKE a racehorse!


14 posted on 02/14/2006 10:45:54 AM PST by Chi-townChief
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To: Snardius
Colder that a brass toilet seat in the Yukon! ...
In January! ...
Out back in the outhouse!

Now thats COLD!

16 posted on 02/14/2006 11:00:08 AM PST by cuz_it_aint_their_money (Replacing Dan Rather with Katie Couric is like replacing an idiot with an imbecile.)
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To: Snardius

Make like a baby and HEAD out.


17 posted on 02/14/2006 11:15:23 AM PST by chapin2500 (The road to hell is paved with liberals.)
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To: Snardius; Charles Henrickson; mikrofon

This thread is as vane as a fan blade.


18 posted on 02/14/2006 11:34:07 AM PST by martin_fierro (In that vein)
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To: Snardius
Slicker than deer guts on a door knob.

Hotter than two rats screwing in a wool sock.

As useless as hen sh!t on a water pump handle.

Uglier than a picture on an iodine bottle.

19 posted on 02/14/2006 11:35:39 AM PST by w_over_w (Don't tell me to go to your BLOG . . . just tell me how your day was.)
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To: Snardius
Oh! And from the movie Apollo 13 . . .

I'm so hungry . . . I could eat the butt out of a dead rhinoceros.

22 posted on 02/14/2006 11:43:10 AM PST by w_over_w (Don't tell me to go to your BLOG . . . just tell me how your day was.)
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To: Snardius
To describe these folks, I use the following similes:


dumb as a post
dumb as dirt
thick as two short planks
two clowns short of a circus
a few beers short of a six pack
old as the hills
old as Methuselah
empty as a drunkard's purse
drunk as a lord
drunk as a sailor
phony as a three-dollar bill
odd as two left shoes
ornery as a rattlesnake with hives
ornery as a water moccasin havin' his belly scrubbed with a washboard pick
ornery as a two-headed bull
ornery as a one-eyed pocket gopher in a thistle patch
ornery as a Corn Belt tornado
ornery as a pit bull sh*ttin' railroad spikes
ornery as a she-cat with a thorn in her paw
hard as picking fly sh*t out of black pepper
easy as putting a six-legged cat in a bucket of water
hard-headed as a ball-peen hammer
welcome as a skunk at a lawn party
dead as a doornail
dead as a mackerel
dead as a dodo
stale as yesterday's newspaper
useful as a back pocket in a vest
useful as a spit valve on a guitar
useless as a tit on a bull
useless as a screen door on a submarine
funny as a rubber crutch
funny as a train wreck
dark as a dungeon
dark as night
fat as a pig
stubborn as a mule (jackass)
noisy as crows
crazy as a coot
certain as death and taxes
bitter as gall
thick as thieves
nutty as a fruitcake
predictable as the sun setting
25 posted on 02/14/2006 12:08:55 PM PST by MadCharity ("Hindsight is not wisdom, and second guessing is not a strategy." Go GW!!!)
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To: Snardius

Sharp as a bowling ball.


26 posted on 02/14/2006 12:10:51 PM PST by Nea Wood (Is cheap, illegal labor worth one life?)
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To: Snardius

Dumb as a box of hammers,
Sharp as a bag of wet mice,
As still as a rat on acid.


28 posted on 02/14/2006 1:05:09 PM PST by najida (Valentines? You mean the Great Chocolate Pig-out Day!)
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To: Snardius

Finer than a frog hair split 3 ways...


29 posted on 02/14/2006 1:10:22 PM PST by Keith in Iowa (Howard Dean: Bankrupting the Democratic Party morally, intellectually, and financially. Go Howie go!)
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To: Snardius

If you're going to run with the big dogs you better learn how to pee in the tall grass.


30 posted on 02/14/2006 1:11:26 PM PST by GSWarrior
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To: Snardius
Busy as a one armed paper hanger

Serious as a heart attack

32 posted on 02/14/2006 1:12:37 PM PST by antivenom (If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much damn space!)
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To: Snardius

Slicker as snot on a doorknob


33 posted on 02/14/2006 1:14:43 PM PST by MortMan (Trains stop at train stations. On my desk is a workstation...)
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To: Snardius

-More frustrated than an Amish Electrician
-More frustrated than a legless Ethiopian watching a donut roll down a hill
-Happier than Rosie O'Donnell at a buffet full of Ho-Ho's

Gotta love Larry the Cable Guy!


35 posted on 02/14/2006 1:17:47 PM PST by RockinRight (Attention RNC...we're the party of Reagan, not FDR...)
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