Posted on 01/10/2006 7:38:23 AM PST by SmithL
It sounds innocent. You get to wondering whatever happened to that special someone you dated in high school or college, so you track her, or him, down online and send an e-mail.
Your old flame is thrilled to hear from you. You chat online, talk on the phone, meet for coffee. And faster than you ever imagined, everything gets out of hand and someone's marriage is ruined.
It happens a lot more often than you'd think.
"It starts with e-mails,'' says Nancy Kalish, a psychology professor at Cal State Sacramento who has studied the phenomenon. "It goes to IMs (instant messages), and the hotel room follows pretty soon afterward.''
C'mon, we're not talking about people looking for an affair, just a cup of coffee with an old friend.
That may be the plan, but Kalish says that's not how it often works out. She's been charting hookups between lost loves since 1993, and says the Internet has changed how such stories unfold.
Back in the 1990s, it was rare for a married person to reach out to a first love. Nowadays, about 8 in 10 people who contact a former lover are married, Kalish says, based upon the findings of her own Web site, Lostlovers.com.
Of course, most of them don't intend to get into trouble when they log on, and not all of them do.
"People are just surfing the Internet on a whim,'' Kalish says. "They may see some lost love and they say, 'What the heck' and send an e-mail.''
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
Most of my former girlfriends would love to see me again...
With a pickaxe sticking out of my forehead.
Yikes. A week or so ago, I found someone I had dated over 10 years ago and exchanged emails with her. By the third one, I was reminded why I gave up on her.
Regardless, things are NEVER as good as you remember them to be.
Just make sure the ones you contact are more than 1,000 miles away.
I got lucky with wife rev 1.0. She left town and hasn't been heard from since. The only way I kept track of her for the first few years was her burned creditors calling me to see if I knew where she was. A few tried to pin the debt on me, but I just showed them the divorce papers and flipped them the bird.
Muleteam1
Argh! My ex must still be as old as me.
You're a long way from home on a business trip and an old flame gets a hold of your e-mail and drops a line. Next thing you know you're stopping over in Nashville for a visit on the way home. The visit is great but there is always a bill to be paid!
Muleteam1
Mr G ran into an old flame at a reunion. (I was with him). She started emailing him under the guise of having him come to her business on a consulting trip. When he replied that WE would be happy to come, the emails stopped. He was so surprised!
If you can't resist for moral reasons, try economic. Why spend all that money for a divorce when you can be just as miserable where you are now?
Oof!
Ouch!
First off, I'm not miserable now. I'm quite happy with The Girlfriend.
Secondly, my ex-fiance doesn't have a southern accent as she grew up in Colorado, but now lives in Mississippi.
Third, the only thing about us that clicked when we were together was sex, so that's why I don't want to see her.
I agree. It's never the same, but still I enjoy IM with them. And having 600 miles between us prevents me from having to meet for coffee etc. But it is great to see what they've done with their lives.
Safe to say you're not a real party animal, eh?
I am trying to decipher and make sense out of that last sentence but I am still drawing a blank. I'll get back to you later....
To explain, sex was the only good part of our relationship. Otherwise we didn't like each other much. So we really have nothing in common.
still...not...following...
Although I have had a few like that. I usually keep those though. You know, put them on a stringer like fish. Pull them up every once in a while to see if they are still kicking.
But never take home to Mama....
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.