[Tijeras_Slim]

Most of my former girlfriends would love to see me again...


With a pickaxe sticking out of my forehead.

[LongElegantLegs]

Most of my former girlfriends would love to see me again... With a pickaxe sticking out of my forehead.

Have we dated?

[theFIRMbss]

>Most of my former girlfriends would love to see me again... With a pickaxe sticking out of my forehead

Woman: Well Jake. You like just fine down there, slithering in the mud like vermin.

Jake:[To Elwood] No problem.

Woman: You're not gonna get away from me this time.

[she fires again... still missing them]

Jake:[To Woman] It's good to see you sweetheart.

Woman: You contemptible pig. I remained celebate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting in celibacy for you, with 300 friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterer in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party my father used up his last favours with Mad Pete Trollo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle and for the common good, I must now kill you and your brother.

Jake:[Falling to his knees before her] Oh please don't kill us. Please, please don't kill us. You know I love ya baby, I wouldn't leave ya. It wasn't my fault.

Women: You miserable slug. You think you can talk you're way out of this? You betrayed me.

Jake: No, I didn't. Honest. I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locust's. It wasn't my fault!! I swear to God!!

Woman: Oh Jake, Jake, honey.

[Jake embraces her in a passionate kiss, then drops her in the mud.]

Jake:[To Elwood] Let's go.

Elwood:[To the Woman] Take it easy.

Elwood: It's a 106 miles to Chicago. We got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.

Jake: Hit it!