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Commentary: Dog-faced pork chop now on eBay Commentary: Dog-faced pork chop now on eBay
Palm Beach Post ^ | 12-16-05 | By Frank Cerabino

Posted on 12/16/2005 10:12:17 AM PST by Fawn

I've come to see the pork chop.

"Here it is," says Kevin Goodman, 43, as he reaches amid the coffee-table clutter in his Boca Raton apartment, presenting me a plastic bag with a cooked pork chop in it.

"Looks like a dog," I confirm.

The item in question is officially called "Smiling Pork Chop Dog," and in the plethora of weird items for sale on eBay, the online auction site, it has managed to rise in the ranks of the bizarre.

This is no easy feat, considering that the dog head of pork is competing against a shower drain hair clog from New York, a human soul on a bar napkin from Illinois, and a Maryland item simply listed as "a box of smell from my house."

So far, the month-old pork chop from a Boca Raton Winn-Dixie has drawn a lot of gawkers, but no potential buyers.

"It's too nice to eat," Goodman said. "It's more like art."

It was part of a three-pack Goodman was frying up for supper one night a week after Hurricane Wilma. He ate two chops, but couldn't bring himself to eat the other, because he saw a face in it. So the chop went from skillet to freezer.

It's not surprising. Goodman lives with two dogs and an apartment full of driftwood that he fashions into sculptures. His artistic bent is to imagine faces and forms in the random configurations of nature. I guess you might say it was just a matter of time before he made the jump from wood to meat.

Visions of grilled cheese inspire

He is also an eBay seller of more conventional items, and so he knows that no item is too strange to auction. As his pork chop remained in its petrified freezer state, his mind turned to the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich, another South Florida oddity, which sold for $28,000 on eBay last year.

And he remembered that the same online casino that bought the cheese sandwich also bought a pretzel said to resemble the Virgin Mary holding the Baby Jesus for $10,600, and a Nacho Cheese Doritos Chip shaped like a pope's mitre for $1,209.

If a chip that looks like a hat could sell, then why not a chop that looks like a dog, he thought?

"It would help if your dog looked like a religious dog," I said.

Goodman had already been down that road, trying to come up with a Christian link to his pork chop.

"I couldn't think of any," he said.

So he's just going with a secular dog, and hoping that his timing is right.

"It's smiling, and it's holiday time, and we're at war," he said.

He set the opening bid at $1,998. (Did I mention he didn't get any takers?)

"I didn't want to make it too high or too low," he said. "And I need to pay my rent."

Food auctions may be drying up

In the first four days of his weeklong auction, about 9,000 online visitors have gazed at the photo of his chop. But no bids, just commentary. Here's my favorite snippet of online discussion from www.BizarreBids.com:

Laura: i hate this picture its horrid to kill a dog just to put it on a website.who ever done it is mean so i hate it.

Kaitlyn: They didn't kill a dog. It's a pork chop that happens to look like a dog. hahahahaha!

Jazzy: yall stupid

Goodman's auction ends Sunday. The market is tough.

A seller in Ohio trying to unload the "Dale Earnhardt Jr. Onion Ring" — a Burger King specimen shaped like an "8" — didn't get any offers, despite opening the bidding at just a dollar. And the human soul, the last time I checked, was only up to a buck twenty-nine.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: dogfaced; ebay; pork; porkchop; suckers
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To: Fawn

E-bay is amazing. That's it. I'm going to auction off my al-zarkawi crepitation.....


21 posted on 12/16/2005 10:23:31 AM PST by InsureAmerica (Evil? I have many words for it. We are as dust, to them. - v v putin)
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To: InsureAmerica

I think the pork chop looks more like Pelosi than a dog.


22 posted on 12/16/2005 10:24:52 AM PST by willyd (No nation has ever taxed its citizens into prosperity)
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To: InsureAmerica

I think the pork chop looks more like Pelosi than a dog.


23 posted on 12/16/2005 10:24:53 AM PST by willyd (No nation has ever taxed its citizens into prosperity)
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To: Fawn
I will hold out for a pork chop shaped like Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent.
24 posted on 12/16/2005 10:24:55 AM PST by Kokojmudd (Outsource the US Senate to Mexico! Put Walmart in charge of all Federal agencies!)
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To: Fawn

This piece of pork is a dead ringer for Janet Reno.


25 posted on 12/16/2005 10:28:00 AM PST by 101st-Eagle
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To: 101st-Eagle

LOL LOL LOL!


26 posted on 12/16/2005 10:28:49 AM PST by saveliberty (Stop the McCainity. Vote Conservative.)
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To: willyd

especially with all of that yellow stuff oozing out of it


27 posted on 12/16/2005 10:34:33 AM PST by InsureAmerica (Evil? I have many words for it. We are as dust, to them. - v v putin)
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To: Fawn
Tookie toast on eBay.


28 posted on 12/16/2005 10:35:06 AM PST by doug from upland (Hasta la vista, Tookie)
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To: doug from upland

OMG...haha


29 posted on 12/16/2005 10:36:17 AM PST by Fawn (http://www.stickdeath.com/bank.htm)
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To: Fawn

30 posted on 12/16/2005 10:36:19 AM PST by FReepaholic (Admitted FReepaholic since 1998.)
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To: Fawn

an Allah pork chop would be much more desirable


31 posted on 12/16/2005 10:37:47 AM PST by vigilante2 (Merry Christmas)
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To: Fawn

Rutabeetabega?

32 posted on 12/16/2005 10:39:26 AM PST by GSWarrior
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To: nuconvert
looks like a horse

You mean Lurch Kerry?

33 posted on 12/16/2005 10:39:46 AM PST by Cobra64
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To: Rebelbase

I'm not familiar with Ebay shopping. It does indeed say the opening bid is at $2000, but then below it says there have been 0 bids. What gives?


34 posted on 12/16/2005 10:40:23 AM PST by Mr. Mojo
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To: Cobra64

No, it looks better than that.


35 posted on 12/16/2005 10:41:51 AM PST by nuconvert (No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR) [there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
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To: Mr. Mojo
It does indeed say the opening bid is at $2000, but then below it says there have been 0 bids. What gives?

It means that the seller will accept nothing less than $2000 and that nobody,yet,has been willing to pay that much.

I,for one,am astounded that there are no bids.If I had that kind of $$$,I'd bid in a heartbeat!

36 posted on 12/16/2005 10:53:23 AM PST by Gay State Conservative
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To: Fawn

Fast food - OSBL style!


37 posted on 12/16/2005 10:56:30 AM PST by LachlanMinnesota (The real Churchill knew a blood thirsty gutter snipe when he saw one.)
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To: Gay State Conservative

You too? My co-worker is upset that there is no BUY-IT-NOW option...LOL


38 posted on 12/16/2005 11:05:32 AM PST by Fawn (http://www.stickdeath.com/bank.htm)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

Damned greasy ~ Burp, Bump!


39 posted on 12/16/2005 11:15:00 AM PST by blackie (Be Well~Be Armed~Be Safe~Molon Labe!)
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To: RadioAstronomer; Ichneumon; PatrickHenry; longshadow; VadeRetro
I must say, that's the doggiest-looking pork chop that ever there was. Not $2000 doggy-looking, mind you, but it is remarkable.

I think it looks designed, what say you?

40 posted on 12/16/2005 12:12:07 PM PST by Physicist
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