Posted on 12/09/2005 7:07:19 AM PST by Xenophobic Alien
Going through withdrawals
Homer becomes Mr Burns prank monkey for money.
I whip it out every chance I get. That's why they stick me back in the corner by the broken copier.
Owl_Eagle
"You know, I'm going to start thanking
the woman who cleans the restroom in
the building I work in. I'm going to start
thinking of her as a human being"
LOL! I bet I can name your favorite comic strip.
i WOULD GO TO THE OFFICIAL THREAD. i'TS NOT OFFICIAL UNLESS IT'S OFFICIAL.
Looks like your typing with the Warsteiner in front o fyou!.......
aT LEAST YOURS IS BROKEN. i'M NEAR THE ROUTER AND FAX, AND THEY ONLY MAKE IT HOT & NOISY. i WISH i WERE BACK IN THE ENGINEROOM ON THE SHIP SOMETIMES.
wHY IS THAT?
How did the copier break? Trying to load 11x17 for a 1:1 version?
lol! do not! CONTINUE THAT QUOTE!
When you use the caps lock, it makes me think you're yelling at me.
You've hurt me with your words.
Owl_Eagle
"You know, I'm going to start thanking
the woman who cleans the restroom in
the building I work in. I'm going to start
thinking of her as a human being"
jUST A WILD A$$ GUESS........
i'M SORRY. I did not realize I was using caps lock. i forgot my glasses at the lawyers last night and can't see anything.
Rules for Buying Gifts for Men
Rule #1: When in doubt, buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. “Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?” “OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8 inch socket yet?” Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99¢ ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.
Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. I'm told men do not stink, they are earthy.
Rule #8: Buy men label makers. They are almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. “Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink.” You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says “some assembly required” on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sears’ Clearance Centers are also excellent men’s stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. “From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a ’68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.”
Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That’s why they never cook, but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. Oh the thrill! The challenge! "Who wants a hamburger?”
Rule #12: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to “A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts.” Everyone knows why.
Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why, please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule #14: It’s hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.
Ping to Huge Manatee.
Well, someone has me pegged...
And for that we are eternally grateful.
They'll arrest you for such displays you know.
That about covers it
Dash... Where did you find this Hugh Manatee graphic?
Sad, really....;-)
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