WOW! That's neat! My Wife just had a baby girl two months ago - it will be a great blessing to you!!
C'mon out and play!
FIRST!
IBTZ! Also, congratulations!!!
Boy, I need as much silliness as you guys can dish out today. Go for it!
Lets get silly, PING!!!
My son had just turned 14 when I finally decided to talk to
him about sex. To ensure private time, I brought him on a
ski trip and began our talk on the chair lift so he couldn't
escape.
"Son, do you know about girls and babies?" I asked.
He nodded but cut me off.
The next ride up the ski lift, I brought it up again, only to
have him look away in silence. On the third lift, already
knowing I had waited too long, I bluntly asked, "Son, would
you like to talk about sex?"
"Gee, Dad," he responded, "is that all you ever think about?"
in 2hrs i will
What did the pig say when the farmer grabbed him by the tail?
For all the Italians out there or those who are lucky enough to be married to an Italian, or even to be friends of Italians. .
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite anisette sprinkled cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Italian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.
The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife....."Don't touch!" she said, "They're for the funeral."
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia:
>> Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
>>
>> Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
>>
>> RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"
>>
>> G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
>>
>> RS: "Ow July den?"
>>
>> G: "What??"
>>
>> RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"
>>
>> G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled
> please."
>>
>> RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
>>
>> G: "Crisp will be fine."
>>
>> RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
>>
>> G: "What?"
>>
>> RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"
>
>> G: "I don't think so."
>>
>> RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"
>>
>> G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo
> wan
>> sahn toes' means."
>>
>> RS: "Toes! Toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish
> moppin we bodder?"
>>
>> G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.'
> Fine.
>> Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
>>
>> RS: "We bodder?"
>>
>> G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."
>>
>> RS: "Wad?"
>>
>> G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
>>
>> RS: "Copy?"
>
>> G: "Excuse me?"
>>
>> RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
>>
>> G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."
>>
>> RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we
>> bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"
>>
>> G: "Whatever you say."
>>
>> RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."
>>
>> G : "You're very welcome."
Congratulations!!!!!
My friday silliness story. I was driving in to work this morning and as I was passing a Starbucks a woman came jogging by wearing far less than you would expect for Novemeber in Ohio. Guy in a suit was coming out of the Starbucks, turned to watch the woman as she went by, walked right into a wrought iron trash container and managed to drench himself in coffee. You couldn't havce scripted it better if it was a movie.
Made me laugh after a very long week.
Thanks for the pingarooney and contrats to you and the Mrs!
Build-a-Bear Workshop
3 pc. Missionary Outfit
Outfit includes white oxford shirt with attached black tie
and name badge, black pants and play The Book of Mormon.
I don't have a problem with this, but isn't it wierd?
Congratulations BJClinton!
I forgot...
CONGRATS!!
MM