The Advice Goddess

Westword.com ^ | Amy Alkon

[Millee]

I'm 40, the cute girl from upstairs is 23. When she stopped by to commiserate about loud neighbors, we had a beer, went dancing, and then had sex. Afterward, she seemed weird and left abruptly. I wrote her a note, "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I love you and look forward to seeing you again." She hasn't looked at me since. Where did I go wrong? -- Mr. Neighbor

Grateful as you may be to a girl for having sex with you, it's never a good idea to let on. You could've had a future with her -- the kind 40-year-old guys without handfuls of bling typically have with 23-year-old girls: jump-starting their cars, lugging their couches up four flights of stairs, and maybe catching a little action when there are no hot young guys to be found. You blew it, though, with "I'm a lonely sack of emptiness!" -- which is how "I love you" translates after one beer, one dance, and one roll in the sack. (You say "I love you"; she says "It seemed like a good idea at the time.")

[pissant]

I wasn't talking about HitmanNY, I was talking about the loser in the article. ;o)

[Dashing Dasher]

About as insightful as any of your posts on this thread.

[HitmanLV]

Yes men should be confident,successful,smart (etc)... but along with this they should be caring, honest, loving (etc)I think this is the problem.

I agree with what you said and never seriously suggested otherwise. Somehow, you may have filtered my comments through a strange prism (how you got that prism, I can't say) and it made you think that I feel the two sets of qualities you mentioned are mutually exclusive (or at the very least, inconsistent).

Clearly there are not mutually exclusive nor inconsistent.

The real issue is, what made you feel they were?

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Oh, that explains it all!!

[Dashing Dasher]

In best Roseanne Roseannadanna voice, "Oh, nevermind."

[HitmanLV]

I know that, no problem - Double D is reality challeneged from time to time, and confused the relatively straightforward comment. No harm, no foul!

[HitmanLV]

Specifically what did I say that was so untoward?

[PaulaB]

Are you trying to psychoanalyze me?

Your postings lead me to believe that you care more for your mental superiority
than any female feeling that a woman in your presence could have...

I like your posts BTW..keeps my teeth sharp

[Dashing Dasher]

Sorry, I think you are an idiot with typical EST-like behavior popular in the 1970s. They used to be called EST-Holes for a reason.

... Erhard Seminars Training (est), a pricey, psychobabbling series of long and demeaning behavior-modification sessions that preached the virtue of selfishness.

---- Hunter S. Thompson in Fear and Loathing in America.

Yep, that sounds about right.

[peacebaby]

"In best Roseanne Roseannadanna voice, "Oh, nevermind."

snort!

(i'm not here...just voyeuring)

[peacebaby]

hahahahahahahahahah

teeth sharp.....tears in my eyes.

[Millee]

Uuhhmm...can we please re-direct this back to creepy, older guy scamming on younger neighbor-ho please???

I'm shallow, and that amuses me. ;o)

[peacebaby]

Let's do.

Let us all

GIT JIGGY WID IT!

[PaulaB]

Sorry Millee..I'm a sucker

for trying to figure out

peoples brain functions

I think I was a surgeon in a prior life...;)

[Dashing Dasher]

LOL!!!!

[HitmanLV]

No, not psychoanalyze. I don't do that.

My point and question remains, even though you didn't care to even try to address it. I didn't suggest that the two things are mutually exclusive or inconsistent.

What makes you think it did?

As far as my mental superiority, well it's true, my mama didn't raise a fool! Then again, that's not to say that I care more about my smarts than I would care for the love of a good woman.

What makes you think it would?

[HitmanLV]

I didn't say I prescribed long and demanding behavior modification sessions. In fact, the skills I teach are not difficult and while they require practice, they are not notably demanding.

No idea what made you think otherwise, sorry.

[HitmanLV]

I'm with you - I kind of like the romance of that situation, too!

All my original post did was explain at least one aspect of the situation. I don't know why it was so controversial.

[PaulaB]

Oh but I did answer it...

Your postings lead me to believe that you care more for your mental superiority (confidence/success) than any female feeling that a woman in your presence could have...(caring/loving)

have you ever considered that you missed a females response to you that was important due to the blockage in your brain telling you that all eyes are on you?

[Millee]

You're forgiven. ;o) Just don't get inside my head....unless you want to hear the ocean.....