The Advice Goddess

Westword.com ^ | Amy Alkon

[Millee]

I'm 40, the cute girl from upstairs is 23. When she stopped by to commiserate about loud neighbors, we had a beer, went dancing, and then had sex. Afterward, she seemed weird and left abruptly. I wrote her a note, "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I love you and look forward to seeing you again." She hasn't looked at me since. Where did I go wrong? -- Mr. Neighbor

Grateful as you may be to a girl for having sex with you, it's never a good idea to let on. You could've had a future with her -- the kind 40-year-old guys without handfuls of bling typically have with 23-year-old girls: jump-starting their cars, lugging their couches up four flights of stairs, and maybe catching a little action when there are no hot young guys to be found. You blew it, though, with "I'm a lonely sack of emptiness!" -- which is how "I love you" translates after one beer, one dance, and one roll in the sack. (You say "I love you"; she says "It seemed like a good idea at the time.")

[HitmanLV]

Grammatical corretness is very important, but it's relatively minor compared to the value of the substance of what is said.

The only time that grammar really compromises the value is when it undermines the meaning, and makes it difficult for listeners to understand what is being said. In that case, correct grammar is essential.

Since you understood me, and most people did, minor grammatical flubs (especially in conversation) are of little significance.

It's not like if I was extra mindful of that, I could charge $ 5100 a day. My clients don't pay me for that, sorry.:-)

[HitmanLV]

I don't think that's true at all. How cynical.

[Dashing Dasher]

Darn, I promise to be more more more more careful in the future.

[peacebaby]

I beg to differ, HItmanNY. Grammar is extremely important - especially in the professional and academic worlds.

No big deal. Peace.

OK, now, let's all GIT JIGGY WID IT!

[HitmanLV]

Your thoughts are on target and valid also, I agree 100%. This wasn't the juncture for romeo to get all lovey-dovey, and maybe they were just not physically compatible.

You should start a 12-step program for the emasculated! It would be God's work!

[HitmanLV]

Why not?

[Dashing Dasher]

You and your sidekick, Robin, said that just the other day in the last thread that we were subjected to your psychotic-babble.


I certainly don't believe anything you say.

And, I'm not the cynical one.

[HitmanLV]

I didn't say it was unimportant, in fact I said it was important. I just said there are times when it isn't of major significance.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

LOL!!

[Dashing Dasher]

Actually, I find when I message is delivered poorly, it takes away from the message.

Misspellings and bad grammar detract from the message, because the reader assumes the writer to be of sub par intelligence.

Do you agree?

[peacebaby]

major significance = importance. GET IT?

Enough, HitmanNY. You've turned this tread into a wierd circus.

I'm outa here.

[Dashing Dasher]

I called him an idiot first!!!


(She's so competitive!!!)

[HitmanLV]

Brrrrr. The validity of what I am saying does not hinge on your belief in it or not, I'm sorry to break the news to you.

I never said that women primarily go for money. If you think I said that, please find the post.

It could be just another example of your 'belief' not jiving with the validity what is 'real,' though.

But that might just be cynical on my part.

[PaulaB]

Here is my opnion on your thinking

I am glad you have strong self esteem but one day soon your going to have swallow a big dose of "get over yourself"
Yes men should be confident,successful,smart (etc)... but along with this they should be caring, honest, loving (etc)
the problem with your theory is...you think you have the goods to deliver a woman dreams to her when after you unwrap it its just a pile of male pigness centered around your religion which is the religion of "me"....I don't think you'll ever find someone you'll love more than you love yourself...

[Dashing Dasher]

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

[HitmanLV]

You clearly have trouble with the English language. My post above starts, in fact, with "Grammatical corretness is very important, but it's relatively minor compared to the value of the substance of what is said."

That position stands, notwithstanding your petulance and inability to cope with this straightforward and unambiguous comment.

If this thread is a circus, you and your posse are the ringmasters!

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

If this guy had stuck to dating his hand, he would not be in this situation.

[HitmanLV]

Insightful!

[Dashing Dasher]

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

[Dashing Dasher]

I believe he sent his hand an "I LOVE YOU" message also and they stopped seeing each other.

Pity.