Posted on 10/21/2005 5:59:20 PM PDT by scott7278
Hello, Singles!
To start up our thread tonight, take the following quiz:
http://www.queendom.com/tests/minitests/fx/flirt.html
And report back here with your score.
Harm is such a cool name for a dog :)
It makes sense, but how can he find the right girl if he doesn't date? The thing is, when he realizes that it is not going to lead anywhere, he needs to let her down gently if she has fallen for him.
I scored 90% on that test oddly.
I believe you have been making posts about this to other people, not me.
Just curious - how old are you? When did you become widowed?
If you don't want to answer these questions don't.
Well, don't just date anyone!!! You need to date someone to whom you are attracted. Since your goal is getting married and not just getting to know people and having fun, only ask out the ones that are potential marriage candidates. However, if a girl comes along who is just a friend and sees you in the same way, there is no reason the two of you can't go out and enjoy each other's company.
I took it to see how I would score, but I am in the same boat you are.
Well...if you have pretty specific ideas (i.e. in my case he's gotta be Catholic, for one), you rule out huge groups. Obviously you rarely know instantly when you do meet someone who's right...and I'm not saying folks shouldn't date. But I'm not going to waste time and heartbreak on someone who will *never* meet my criteria. It's not worth it. I can have plenty of friends without putting them in the "boy friend" category.
"Well, don't just date anyone!!! You need to date someone to whom you are attracted. Since your goal is getting married and not just getting to know people and having fun, only ask out the ones that are potential marriage candidates."
EXACTLY!! We have reached the crux of the matter. I feel the same way as scott.
Problem is, for me, there haven't BEEN any candidates. Okay, I can think of 1 or 2, but those girls all ended up hurting me.
How'd you score?
My good ol days are not much either.
Homework is cleaning my clock!
However before I do I thought you all might get a kick out of this
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.
He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time.
A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy
themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to
Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you
realise that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very
loud silence. She thinks to herself: Gee, I wonder if it bothers him
that I said that.
Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months
. And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either.
Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going?
Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together?
Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking: . . so that means it was . . let's see...
February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer
. . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face.
Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong.
Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed- even before I used it-that I was feeling some reservations.
Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again.
I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right.
And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time.
What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry.
And I don't blame him.
I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way
I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the rats.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic,
waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person,
a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me.
A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and
........ "Roger," Elaine says aloud. "What?" says Roger, startled.
"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears.
"Maybe I should never have . . . I feel so . . ." (She breaks down, sobbing.)
"What?" says Roger.
"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly.
There's no knight, and there's no horse."
"There's no horse?" says Roger.
"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.
"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
"It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time," Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
"Yes," he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
"Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.
"What way?" says Roger.
"That way about time," says Elaine.
"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.) Thank you, Roger," she says.
"Thank you," says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn,
whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechs he never heard of.
A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car,
but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.<> (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours.
In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again,
exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.
They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's,
will pause just before serving, frown, and say:
"Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"
Yes, but you commented on it by saying I shouldn't do any Monday night quarterbacking!!!!
Well, why don't you take my advice?
check out post #394, its pretty funny....I do have to go to bed real soon
How old are you and when did you become widowed? Don't answer if it is uncomfortable for you.
Same here. The extremely rare case anyone flirts with me I become parylized.
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