This is new to me so I just had to post it:
The Truth About Black Helicoptors
Posted on 10/07/2005 5:53:14 AM PDT by BJClinton
Is it Friday already? Aaagh, I still have stuff to do that was due on Wednesday. Can't complain though, Fall has officially arrived in Central TX. It was over 100 just a few days ago and now it's in the 50s. Oh yeah, and there's a couple little football game up in Dallas this weekend. So cut loose and get silly, but not *too* silly.
This is new to me so I just had to post it:
The Truth About Black Helicoptors
Doable
LOL!!!
Just where in the hell have you been?
Night Jim!
MM
Wrong..but very funny! :o)
I was just trying to make the guys feel better.
MM
The guys do seem to need some cheering up today. It was very generous of you.
Well wait till she's a little older darlin, then she'll be doable in gravy!
Thank you Hoodlum, It was an honest attempt!! :o)
SOME (maximus) didnt appreciate my efforts and took me off his Christmas list! :o) ROFL
MM
Everyone have a good weekend!
Have a good weekend! :)
Well, "Lewt" as in "Leet Pwnage" by taking an item that belonged to another unit.
Yes, we had to eventually give it back.
Well, maybe next time you'll learn!
Woo Hoo! It's Friday!!
Effective from Jan 2006
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according
to your salary. If we see you wearing Parada shoes and
carrying Gucci bag,we assume you are doing well
financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you
dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money
better,so that you may buy nicer clothes, and
therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just
right, you are right where you need to be and
therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you
are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound,the toilet paper roll will retract,the stall door will open,and a picture will be taken. After you
second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more,so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal
to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch,because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thanks you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all question, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations,aggravations,insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
So this guy is praying one night:
"Lord, What is a thousand years to you?"
The Lord answers:
"My child, a thousand years to you is but a second to me."
"Lord what is a million dollars to you?"
"It is but a penny."
"Lord, Can I have a penny?"
"Sure, Just a second."
ROFL...
Sorry, I doubt it, I dont train well!!
MM
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