**** Official Friday Silliness Thread ****

Our "Clever" Minds ^ | 09/30/2005 | That's Arthur

[BJClinton]

Yeah! This was a brutal week. 33% of my office was out on paternity leave (okay, so there's only 3 of us). K, leave all seriousness aside and get silly. And if you blew it all on Wednesday, pffft!

As Rita approached,all of East Texas boarded up in preperation. Here's a pic from College Station of the efforts...



If you've been living in a cave in Afghanistan for the last week you may have missed this:

[ErnBatavia]

http://www.davidcbrown.com/earl/

Send Henry instead of Ronnie...

[Dashing Dasher]

This joke is perfectly respectable as a blond joke.
I don't believe we need to bring the President into this.

IMHO...

[Cowman]

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:p - "Hello?" - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" - "Yes." - "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" - "What's the price?" - "Only $2,500.00." - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it."

- "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2006 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." - "What price did he quote you?" - "Only $80,000..." - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

- "Great! But before we hang up, something else..." - "What?" - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property..." - "How much are they asking?" - "Only $950,000 - a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..." - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $920,000. OK?" - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!" - "Bye...I do too..."

The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: - "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

[hattend]

DD, There's the cowbell decal for your plane.

MrsCinAZ, where did you find that?

[Dashing Dasher]

Alabama Bass Fishing Boat

Go Gators!

[BJClinton]

Yeah? Well, I know someone who worked for the cleaning company for Dick DeGuerin's office so...bring it on!

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

The POTTY at the end of the rainbow.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Like we didn't know you were naughty. Good to see you.

[eyespysomething]

Good grief, it was a joke.

I had never heard it any other way.

[Cowman]

The POTTY at the end of the rainbow

Or, as the idiot mayor of Boston would say;

"The Patta Pittie at the end of the rainbow"

[hattend]

Some plastic surgeon retired after working with that group

[PaulaB]

you tend to discount social rules

**LOLOLOL**

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

I do believe that ole' Teddy Oldsmobile would pronounce it that way as well.

[Cowman]

I do believe that ole' Teddy Oldsmobile would pronounce it that way as well.

I used to play cards with him once in a while. Had to give it up, I like to play poker, he always wants to play bridge.

[Miss Behave]

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint enhanced conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Check entire body for zits; tweeze hairs.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

************************************************

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

And to all my great FReeper FRiends, have a great day and an even better weekend.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

LOL, that's priceless.

Hey if he ever leaves the Senate he could always give swimming lessons.

[Dashing Dasher]

Hey, where's Indiana?

I actually had a co-worker ask me that question yesterday!

I told her to google it.