Texas Grand Jury Indicts Ham Sandwich, But Charges Don’t Pass Mustard

HR's Fertile and Twisted Mind | HR

[hispanarepublicana]

AUSTIN (AP) - A Texas grand jury on Wednesday indicted a ham sandwich and two side dishes on charges of conspiracy in a blue plate special scheme, forcing the featured menu item to temporarily relinquish its relished post despite the fact that the charges mayo or mayo not stick.

"I have done nothing wrong. ... Olive us are innocent, just lettuce prove it," the sandwich told a Capitol Hill news conference during which he criticized the Texas prosecutor, Ronnie Earle, repeatedly. The sandwich said the charges amounted to "a bunch of baloney."

With a rye expression, Earle told reporters, "Our job is to prosecute abuses of power and to bring those abuses to the public." He has noted previously that he has prosecuted many hoagies and po’boys in the past.

Chefs at the Capitol Grille selected tuna salad with Cool Whip - No. 3 in the menu favorites ranks – as a temporary sandwich filling.

Other menu items expressed their backing for the ham sandwich, the first daily special to be indicted in at least a century.

A visiting Italian official also expressed confidence. "I cannelloni say that he’s got a tough crust, and he can take it. He will fight this and soon it’ll all be a thing of the past-a," said Minister Oni, the soup of the day.

The ham sandwich said he was certain the indictment would be dismissed and shrugged off the charges as an open-faced lie any way you slice it.

“Here's what the dill is: it looks like the potato chips are down, but these lies will ketchup to Earle,” the sandwich said, vowing that he would rise to the occasion to fight the charges. "There's no time to loaf. We've got to spread the truth."

[llevrok]

Gouda Night, all

[Boazo]

All this lawyer talk is making me hungry.

[gortklattu]

Earle to bread, Earle too wise, makes a hammsammich guilty of lies.

[OKIEDOC]

Good Job. LOL

[BigSkyFreeper]

my sissie's name is Betty Juan Sir. ;-)

Tell your sissie to drop the "Sir" from her name! ;D

[BigSkyFreeper]

I suspect hispanarepublicana is a fungi to be around. :)

[Miss Behave]

"All this lawyer talk is making me hungry."

Me too, Boazo and Blur. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse's butt through a park bench.

[Miss Behave]

LOL, Big Sky Guy. :-)

And I'm assuming you got the name joke. ;-)

[ntnychik]

HR, that was too rich! I'm going to pack up the picnic and send it along to some good FRiends.

[Ursus arctos horribilis]

Pretty funny inspiration, I got a kick out of it.

[Miss Behave]

"HR, that was too rich! I'm going to pack up the picnic and send it along to some good FRiends."

Ant attack.

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse's butt through a park bench."



Well Boazo, this sounds like one hungry, costly date! I'm already had dinner this evening, unfortunately.

Bo, you're a man of means..... Actually, she sounds like a down-home regular girl, she'd probably would be OK with seabiscuits and gravy--she didn't specify Arabians....

LOL

[BigSkyFreeper]

Yep!

[potlatch]

LOL, you have a very 'tasty' way of writing!

[Squantos]

LOL.....I'll own up to "ham" as long as the hotdogs who'er really just weenies fess up !......:o)

Hope yer well young lady !

[Miss Behave]

LOL, Blur!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just went like a race horse. Ranks.

And yep, you better bring your heavily hinged and loaded money clip when you're picking me up for a dinner date, guys. I just hope that my feedbag fits in your trunk, otherwise I'll have to wear it on the way to the restaurant, placing it in danger of airbag deployment damage. And *hay*, that wouldn't be good.

And don't tell anyone that I really am a down-home regular girl, it'll blow my cover. ;-)

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

"And yep, you better bring your heavily hinged and loaded money clip when you're picking me up for a dinner date,"


As has been said, there is NOTHING more expensive than a girl that's free for the evening.... ;^)

[Miss Behave]

And you too, Squant. :-)

[devolve]

DeLay O' da land is not promising for the D(o)A....

[Miss Behave]

"As has been said, there is NOTHING more expensive than a girl that's free for the evening.... ;^)"

This is True Grits. ;-)