GET YOUR GUY TO HEEL (Book to ignore alert)

NY Post ^ | September 29, 2005 | FARRAH WEINSTEIN

[Millee]

Don't Go For Looks

Man: Handsome men are never a great bet. Often they have learnt to rely on their looks and as a result have not had to develop a personality or sense of humor - two far more important qualities.

Dog: Don't choose a dog for his looks alone. People who do that are usually incredibly insecure and just want a pet to make them look good. Remember that looks are only surface deep - loyalty, devotion, an eagerness to please and unconditional love truly are the most wonderful things.

Don't Change Your Lifestyle

Man: When you first meet your man, don't change anything for him. Don't give up your friends or hobbies. Never cancel anything to be with him.

Dog: When you first get a dog, the chances are he will whine when you leave him alone, but he'll soon get used to it and appreciate you more when you spend quality time with him.

Scare Him

Man: In the early stages of a relationship, disappear occasionally and don't explain where you have been. Give the impression you have an exciting and interesting life away from him. He will instinctively fight to spend more time with you.

Dog: If a dog doesn't do what you ask him, hide behind a tree and watch him. If he suddenly realizes he cannot find you, he'll panic.

- "Everything I Know About Men I Learnt From My Dogs" is available at amazon.co.uk. A U.S. version will be released by Simon & Schuster in May, 2006.

[Millee]

And don't forget that a rolled up newspaper works on both! ;-)

[Millee]

ping

[PaulaB]

Everything I Know About Men I Learnt From My Dogs

ROFL
...no truer words have been spoken

[wolfcreek]

This sounds like a Woman thing......so I'll just shut up and move along.

[Mr. Jeeves]

And men who specialize in counseling other men on dating and relationships tell their clients to do those exact same things to women - with the exact same results promised. ;)

[Skooz]

Yep.

It's called "games," and they make for many lonely nights.

[najida]

Geez,
what did I say to my dogs last night?

"Get off me! You're hot and you smell!"

"Quit drooling on me...eeewww, what did you just eat?"

"That is the way out...you know OUT! O--U--T! The place you're supposed to go."

[Millee]

ROFL!! And both have an endless fascination with panties!

[najida]

How did you know!?!

Do you know that I threw out 2 bras and 3 pair of panties this week alone because the big dummy thought they were chew toys?

[MortMan]

But most of us men aren't lloking to chew on THEM!

[Maximus of Texas]

"Man: Handsome men are never a great bet. Often they have learnt to rely on their looks and as a result have not had to develop a personality or sense of humor - two far more important qualities. " Yeah, that is true I guess. While my sense of humor is warped at best, I guess it does compensate for my lack of good looks.

[PzLdr]

Both of us like a regular routine and schedule. Neither of us like "spontaneity". Once we're adults, we don't need more growth.We prefer hierarchy to consensus, and we don't do "cat fights" We're not the gender the word "b*tch" was invented for. We're loyal, intelligent and hardworking. All we both ask for is a little praise, someone to feed us, a warm place to sleep, and not to get hit with something if we p*e and miss. It's why men like dogs more than cats. It's why women can't train us [No one who goers to a rest room in a public place in groups can], but like to think they can.

[MadIvan]

Well this explains some of the attitude of the last lady I dated. However when she "disappeared", I breathed a sigh of relief.

Regards, Ivan

[Millee]

Well you do look like a fun guy....

[PaulaB]

**LOL**

[Maximus of Texas]

Paula, you hurt my feelings laughing at my pic.

[woofer2425]

All I know is if she is wearing heels then I pay attention more.

[CTOCS]

HEY, I resemble that!!!

[CTOCS]

My wife has learned over the last 5 years to not leave hers on the floor. Young Max (Shetland male) chews them up and wears them like a hat. Almost like it's a frat party trophy.

It is funny as hell to watch however...

[Emmett McCarthy]

I guess my dog and I are both safe from this broad and her followers. First, of course, we're both handsome devils and, beyond that, hard to train. But, we do have domestic tranquility worked out. He's content to let me think that I've trained him not to poop in my house. I'm content to let him think that he's trained me not to poop in his yard. And: WE DON'T HAVE TO 'TALK' ABOUT IT and, most important, we don't have to "share our feelings" about any of it.

I feed. He eats. I go to work. He sleeps on the bed. Once in a while, he barks at something just to prove he can. Come to think of it, I do that, too.