Not silly, but...just, awww...
Posted on 09/02/2005 5:46:40 AM PDT by BJClinton
TGIF! Earlier this week I thought I'd want to skip the OFST due to the disaster in Nawlins. But after reading lefties actually blame Katrina on Bush, blame the resulting flooding on Bush and then blame the rioting on Bush, I need to unwind in a big way. So, without further ado:
Not silly, but...just, awww...
I'm a better architect than I am a typist.
Happy Anniversary!
Let's see if we can do another year without getting zotted!
XO
Dasher
LOL> OK.
It's your list... go for it.
and...BTW... Happy anniversary
LOL!!!!!!!!
Actually credit should go to blackie, he sent it to me first.
Mensa's New Words for 2005
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the 2005 winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
[An r-q-tek86 favorite]
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
I'm here.
Happy to see you guys....and nothing major to report, other than I'm getting DSL today!
I've always said, if you think humanity is basically good, you haven't had kids.
Shalom.
OFFICE DARES
ONE-POINT DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,
"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and
grimace.
5) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,
"Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
6) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,
"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
7) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
8) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.
THREE-POINT DARES
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled
fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all
that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle
(there must be a 'non-player within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a
huge dump in the bathroom".
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in
"The report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my
witness, I'll never go hungry again".
9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".(Extra
points if it is a male, even more if he is your boss)
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you
hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk
about it".
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch
for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very
important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your colleague's desk while he is on the phone.
16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants
and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smashing
each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
door.
I think we can do it. We made it this far!
Good to see you again, ArGee. We've missed you.
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