The Single Freeper Intro Service (Shameless Vanity)

The Impending Marriage of Cyborg and Petronski | 22 July 2005 | Army Air Corps

[scott7278]

Only if you feel the urge, I guess. But don't say I didn't warn ya!

[Dashing Dasher]

LINK!!!!

Callous bastard to Callous bitch!?

[Dashing Dasher]

Do you have the adult content filter turned on for your search engine of choice?

[scott7278]

Yes -- but it didn't help.

[Dashing Dasher]

I didn't get anything too fun - except of course the first picture.

Are you using google, dogpile? alltheweb?

[Monkey Face]

One of my favorite things, when I get a newspaper, is to see if they have a "Personals" column. They're always funnier after the second beer, but it's always good for an afternoon of cheap *ahem* entertainment.

Gads! How desperate can people be?

[McLynnan]

Hi Central Texas Lady! I'm 56 miles south of Dallas myself. Let me ask you a question? For the past month I've been posting a notice here abouts. It reads: Wanted: Female companion.

I am beyond stunned that nobody's taken you up on your fine offer. I will consider it if you toss in some free Mary Kay and a night at Billy Bob's. By the way, I don't gut snakes. I'm trying to think what's 56 miles south of Dallas -- are you between Waxahachie and Hillsboro?

[sonofatpatcher2]

Re: "Wanted: Female companion. She must be financially sound and able to cook like Grandma did, clean house, do lawn work, fix plumbing, do household repairs, seine for minnows, clean fish and have at least 14 foot boat with fish finder, trolling motor and outboard. If interested, send photo of boat."

Waxahachie and Hillsboro? First, dear, you're on the wrong expressway. I'm down I-45 in the Big C... Corsicana, home of the world-wide-known and loved "Collins Street Fruitcakes!"

On the other things... Okay, no snake-gutting. As to Mary Kay... Eh... Mary Kay Bunswanger is busy, but her sister Oh Kay is willing... And I'll take you to Billy Bob's if you will stay off that damned mechanical bull!

I've lost more dates to that galldurn contraption...

Yes, you've lost dates to Billy Bob's bull... and to double A batteries, too!

Bender, STFU and go get me another beer.

Now, Central Texas Lady... When can you post a photo of your boat?

[McLynnan]

OMG, you are quite a catch! All the fruitcake I can eat, and you will keep me hard working and honest from sunrise to sunset. Here's my boat. She's a beauty, huh? I know she needs a little work. I got distracted for a moment last time I was out on the lake.

[sonofatpatcher2]

Yes, your boat... She's listing a ways to starboard...

Heck, Son, so do you when you've been drinking. And I've never know you to go fishing sober!

Hummmmmmm. Central Tex Lady, we may have the makings of a deal here! When can you bring your boat down to Richland-Chambers?

[Do not dub me shapka broham]

(Groan.)

Now you're putting me on the spot!

Believe it or not, my family actually had a subscription to "The Nation"-in addition to many other periodicals of varying ideological and philosophical persuasions, e.g. Sports Illustrated, National Review, The American Spectator, JET, Mother Jones, The New York Times Magazine, the Daily News, and Reader's Digest being just a few-several years ago.

Unfortunately, I don't have a copy on hand, but can assure that those random personal ads from "greens," "progressives," and virtually every category in the moonbat panoply are amply represented in its listings.

Most of them go something like this:

Elderly veteran of the Abraham Lincoln Brigades-completely bereft of hair, at least on skull-seeking devoted female Marxist that kind of looks like Frida Kahlo-except with a slightly fuller mustache-who'd be willing to take long strolls arm-in-arm along a sunlit beach, while reading from Das Kapital.

Well, you get the picture.

:7)

[McLynnan]

Not familiar with Richland-Chambers. Is that in Navarro County?

[marmar]

Hey, DD, do you fly in that outfit......chuckle....

[papertyger]

I'm at a point in my life where I'd be happy with a man who doesn't need CPR on a regular basis ;)

Well quit wearing doilies, and shakin' yer bootay!

[Army Air Corps]

"So what does "Likes to take walks on the beach" mean?"

It means "Beachcomber who likes to use a metal detector as part of a 'small business'".

[Army Air Corps]

Does your sister Freep? If so, let's place her on the ping list. If not, then let's get her registered and on the ping list.

[Army Air Corps]

Just when I thought that I had heard it all...

[tomkat]

fofl ! and ditto    

(but dont' gimme any crap about my little green smokin' guy - he's a tradition 'round here ;-)

[tuliptree76]

Wow! His friends must really care about him to go to that much trouble. I do like the slogan - "I'm Lance! Let's Go Out!"