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Slow and Boring News Day
today | me

Posted on 07/14/2005 10:34:25 AM PDT by Responsibility1st

William Rehnquist hasn't died yet (or resigned). Rove is still taking heat about Wilson's wife. Hitlery has her panties in a wad about GTA. Just not a lot of news today, so I thought I would surf the net. Defectiveyeti.com has an entertaining post titled "Don't Look Down".

I took the Squirrelly to the pediatric dentist yesterday. The receptionist was a girl in her mid 20's wearing a push-up bra and an unconscionably low-cut top. She remained seated as she reviewed the papers I had to fill out so I had to look down at her, except when she would briefly stand, lean way over the counter, and point out some clause on the medical waiver form.

Dear Women on Earth: please knock this off. Maybe you think you're doing us men a favor, that anything that increases the net sum of cleavage in the world is A-OK in our book. And I'm sure that's true for some. But for those of us who were raised to believe that openly gawping at the breasts of a woman two feet in front of you is rude, your heaving bosoms -- while no doubt a real treat under other circumstances -- are an undue burden upon us. You have no idea how exhausting it is to concentrate on whatever you're saying about my son's dental coverage while 85% of my mental resources have been diverted to my eyeballs to prevent them from drifting southward; you have no idea what a drag it is that, in order to go from looking from your face to looking at the paper in front of me, I have to detour all the way around your chest -- feigning a glance at a wall clock en route -- or move my head so quickly that I risk whiplash.

Don't get me wrong: I loves me some cleavage. In a bar, at a party, on the beach. But at the pediatric dentist? Come on. That's practically entrapment. I mean, who's your target audience here? Rule of thumb: if you're in a profession where you routinely interact with married men toting one year-olds, we'll take your mammalian credentials as an article of faith -- no need to flash 'em.


TOPICS: Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: anotheruselessvanity; bandwidthwaste; boobage; clevage; iamanidiot; shutup; spamspamspam; tighttshirt; vanityvanityvane
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To: Fierce Allegiance

Tit for tat....


21 posted on 07/14/2005 11:27:23 AM PDT by The SISU kid (There is no Spork)
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To: Tijeras_Slim
So, she's wearing dark shades and a big hat. So, even if I wanted to, I CAN'T look at her face.

Now what do I do???

LOL

22 posted on 07/14/2005 11:31:39 AM PDT by Responsibility1st
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To: Fierce Allegiance; Responsibility1st; Jersey Republican Biker Chick
But at the pediatric dentist? Come on.
 
Odd he should say that, because the ONLY reason my two kids go to the orthodontist they do, is because one of the Drs. is, what I like to call "100% Stalkable".  When she recently left the practice, I only brought the kids back because I had incrontrvertable information from another father that she was replaced by someone just as delictable.
 
This factor plays a role in my choosing summer camps, play groups (presence of "yummy mommys"), which teams they'll be on (y/m's again), and my own Dr/Dentists.  It's the single overriding factor.
 
Owl_Eagle

(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,

 it was probably sarcasm)

23 posted on 07/14/2005 11:32:48 AM PDT by End Times Sentinel (In Memory of my Dear Friend Henry Lee II)
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To: Responsibility1st
Now what do I do???

You can't be a real Texan, askin' questions like that... :)

24 posted on 07/14/2005 11:33:52 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (Now that taglines are cool, I refuse to have one.)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

This thread has possibilities..


25 posted on 07/14/2005 11:34:01 AM PDT by ken5050
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To: Tijeras_Slim
Just a rhetorical question, ya know....

I'm a red-blooded American male.

I KNOW what to be lookin at....

26 posted on 07/14/2005 11:35:23 AM PDT by Responsibility1st
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To: Owl_Eagle
Do they rub your face in their cleavage like the biker chicks do?
27 posted on 07/14/2005 11:35:57 AM PDT by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (People too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage yours.)
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To: AnOldCowhand; Allegra; BerthaDee; Conspiracy Guy; Clemenza; cyborg; Dashing Dasher; Deaf Smith; ...
FF (Favorite FReepers) OPI (Of Possible Interest) Ping...
28 posted on 07/14/2005 11:37:41 AM PDT by The SISU kid (There is no Spork)
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To: The SISU kid

SISU, Please tell me you would have been offended as well by the presents I mean presence of these young girls "uppers" in your face??!! LOL


29 posted on 07/14/2005 11:40:26 AM PDT by motormouth
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To: Owl_Eagle
Speaking of dentists; I find myself going faithfully to my dentist every six months for my cleaning. The dental hygenist is real sweet (if ya know what I mean) and as she is working on me (...working on my teeth that is) she has to get real close.

Yeah.

I do find that I do have to re-comb my hair after I leave.

30 posted on 07/14/2005 11:43:12 AM PDT by Responsibility1st
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To: Owl_Eagle
'
31 posted on 07/14/2005 11:43:58 AM PDT by The SISU kid (There is no Spork)
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To: Tijeras_Slim; Fierce Allegiance; Constitution Day

As the Birthday Boy forced to sit onstage at a Lansing, MI topless bar in 1983, a particularly flat-chested stripper mashed my face into her sternum and damn near broke my nose.

Happy Birthday to me.


32 posted on 07/14/2005 11:44:59 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: martin_fierro

Here in Vegas you would risk possible suffocation. ;)


33 posted on 07/14/2005 11:47:35 AM PDT by EX52D
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To: The SISU kid
Koko the Gorilla speaks:


34 posted on 07/14/2005 11:48:20 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: martin_fierro
martin_fierro: Is this a picture of you at the happy event????


35 posted on 07/14/2005 11:51:13 AM PDT by Responsibility1st
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To: motormouth
Please tell me you would have been offended as well by the presents I mean presence of these young girls "uppers" in your face??!!

I would've been Highly Offended

}^)

'

36 posted on 07/14/2005 11:51:36 AM PDT by The SISU kid (There is no Spork)
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To: martin_fierro

My last birthday expedition to a strip club was on the way home from a fishing & hunting show with my BIL many many moons ago.

My wife inquired why my shirt smelled the way it did. (Shirtless at the Magic Lantern)

My standard reply - "Huh? Who, me? I don't know what you are talking about"


37 posted on 07/14/2005 11:52:23 AM PDT by Fierce Allegiance (This ain't your granddaddy's America!)
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To: Owl_Eagle

I haven't heard the YM term since the old neighborhood. Are you Kevin?


38 posted on 07/14/2005 11:54:14 AM PDT by Fierce Allegiance (This ain't your granddaddy's America!)
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To: Responsibility1st
Slow and Boring News Day

Not for Grenada.

I guess she was hoping Brad Pitt would be in for a cleaning that day. ;)

39 posted on 07/14/2005 11:55:13 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("Violence never settles anything." Genghis Khan, 1162-1227)
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To: Responsibility1st

That is just so, soooo classic.


40 posted on 07/14/2005 11:55:43 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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