As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list--I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed--who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who drive with their cell phones
All people who make ghastly puns, and cause us all to moan.
All children who play vid-eo games, and then there is that man,
Who hangs out on the internet and always sends you spam.
And people who write private mail, but send it to the list.
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!
He's got 'em on the list--he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be miss'd!
There's the week day tee vee talk show hosts, they're such a big disgrace,
and the Tel-e-van-ga-lists, I've got them on the list.
And the People who smoke thick cigars, and puff it in your face
They never would be miss'd--they never would be miss'd!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
That, The Three rivers sta-di-um is "useless as a bone."
And the local pol-i-tici-ans, who want to take our land,
They think we don't see through them, and we won't take a stand.
And that singular anomaly, the geek monopolist
I don't think he'd be missed--I'm sure he'd not he missed!
He's got him on the list--he's got him on the list;
And he don't think he'll be missed--he's sure he won't be miss'd!
And that prissy little doctor, who is found nude on the net
That Judgemental moralist, I've got her on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, who's jokes you do not get,
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as- "No new Taxes", Po-ta-to(e), and Likewise-- never mind.
My list i'll not e-nu-mer-ate, and cause me to turn blue
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!
You may put 'em on the list--you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed!