Posted on 06/17/2005 7:27:30 AM PDT by TheBigB
YAAAAAHOOOOOOO! IT'S FRIDAAAAAAY! Time for FRIDAY SILLINESSS! =) As always, feel free to post silly pix, jokes, nonsensical statements, or even to IGNORE THIS THREAD!
"Trixie, I think there's silliness up ahead!"
**"ROOOAAAAAAARRRRR!" 
**-Translation from Japanese: "Wheee! Silliness!"
"Silliness makes the Bat-nipples hard, as you can see." 
ALL YOUR SILLINESS ARE BELONG TO US!
Yes to all of the above!
"It's too bad no one in their right mind spends Friday on the OFST."
Well, one side of your brain controls the other side of your body, therefore left-handed people are the only ones in their right minds, and as I am left-handed, I must be in my right mind, and I'm here.
No kidding.
HeHeHeHehehehehehehe
I think it's boiled goober pea's though.
Do a freepsearch for freeper lore. That will answer some of it.
Job Application -
NAME: George Martin
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or
at least, one who'll cooperate).
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President.
But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a
Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of
stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better
suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would
I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT
YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question
here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I
may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no, on my breaks - no.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in
the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE
BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh Yes, Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Sagittarius
Stand by....I'm catching up.
Because we like our men WET N WILD!!!
mmmm.... and a hamburger. I love hamburgers.
Don't forget the french fries Whimpee! I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
Here we go again.
S'okay....taken care of.
How could watering plants tempt you? Does that mean something different in NJ?
You have a point there, darling ...... two, in fact.
FReepmailed to you.
So, we have all these guys in Ethiopa showing us pictures of all the starving kids. I figure one of the camera men can give them a sandwich. But here would come the director.
NOOOOOO! DON'T GIVE HIM THAT. HE'S SUPPOSED TO LOOK SAD! EVERYBODY'S SUPPOSED TO LOOK SAD. HOW'S HE GONNA LOOK SAD IF HE'S EATING A SANDWICH. ARE YOU STUPID?
Of course, if it were up to me, I wouldn't give them food. I'd give them U-Hauls.
<Puts his arm around a pretend Ethiopian's shoulders.>Come here. Let me show you something. <pretends to pick something off the ground.> You see this? Do you know what this is?
IT'S SAND. EVERYTHING IS SAND. THIS IS A F***ING DESERT. NOTHING GROWS HERE. NOTHING'S EVER GONNA GROW HERE. YOU HAVE TO MOVE. WE HAVE DESERTS IN AMERICA, WE JUST DON'T LIVE IN 'EM, A$$HOLE!
In memory of the late Sam Kenneson. I hope I'm spelling his name right.
Shalom.
It's the kitties that discover the trolls :)
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