Punch Lines without lead up

[american_ranger]

I am launching a posting where we post the punch line to a joke and then we wait for some one to post the joke and comments about it.

[Dashing Dasher]

ping

[connectthedots]

Wife to husband asking about what he would do with her things if she died prior to her husband. After mentioning a few of her items in which he reluctantly agrees with her to let a future wife use; she finally asks about her golf clubs. After a bit more cajoling he states:

"No, she's left-handed."

[m87339]

And then he said

"No, but that is why I bought the tractor!"

*guffaw*

[m87339]

Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?

I heard it "Pardon me Boyce..." A tiny bit funnier IMHO.

[m87339]

I always heard "hunchback hunchback"

[connectthedots]

That is a crude, but very funny joke.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Death by Bunga Bunga!

[Dashing Dasher]

Once there were two white explorers making their way through the jungles of darkest Africa.

Suddenly a group of tribesmen stepped out of the woods and captured them.

Their chief was a big, fearsome looking guy with feathers on his head, and a bone going through his nostrils.

He said, through an interpreter, that the two men would each be given a choice: Death or Bunga-Bunga.

The first explorer didn't want to die, so he said, "Give me Bunga-Bunga." At this point the tribesmen a!@$lly r*ped the man for what seemed like an eternity, his shrieks echoing through the jungle.

When the second explorer saw this, he was horrified. Finally the gang rape ended, and the second explorer was asked the question: Death or Bunga-bunga. He said, "Oh, I choose death!"

The chief said, "Alright! Death by Bunga-Bunga!"

[B4Ranch]

connectthedots says, "That is a crude, but very funny joke."

Is that why I recall it?

[connectthedots]

And the priest interrupts: "And you missed the f***ing putt, didn't you?"

[beezdotcom]

I tried to find the other one - and found a true-life version:

[beezdotcom]

"....Tim bucked two."

[kevkrom]

"So, check this out, I'm hiding naked in a refrigerator..."

[kevkrom]

Yeah, but he's a pilot.

Reminds me of... "Honey, don't forget the coffee!"

[kevkrom]

"No, no, it's just ice cream."

Blew a seal, eh?

[kevkrom]

The parrot says, "yes, but I gotta ask... what did the chicken do?"

[beezdotcom]

Blew a seal, eh?

Best penguin joke I ever heard.

[Dashing Dasher]

Two female rats were having coffee talking about their new boyfriends. The one rat says to the other, I hear your new boyfriend is a bat! The other says, yes, he is.

The first one says, isn't he really ugly? and she replies,

"Yeah, but he's a pilot!"

[kevkrom]

As a commercial airline is lifting off, the pilot does the usual in-flight announcement of course, time, weather, etc. Then, not realizing he left the intercom switch on, he turns to his co-pilot and says, "you know, I could really use a cup of coffee and a b***j**."

Horrified, the head stewardess rushes to the cockpit to tell the captain about the intercom. As she flies down the aisle, an elderly woman in first class shouts from behind: "Honey, don't forget the coffee!"

[Dashing Dasher]

Mine's funnier!


;-)