Posted on 06/03/2005 7:01:55 AM PDT by TheBigB
YAHOOOOOO! It's FRIIIIIIDAAAAAY! Today, in honor of REVENGE OF THE SITH (which I ain't seen yet, but am gonna), we proudly present the TOP 10 COOLEST THINGS IN THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE...
10. The Imperial Walkers Who wouldn't sh** a brick watching one of these things coming over the horizon?
9. R2D2 and Chewies 3D chess game with the lil' monsters "He made a fair move. Screaming about it won't help."
8. Red Threes cheesy porn stache goes without saying.
7. Jabbas floating party barge Say what you will about the man; he knew how to travel in style
6. The Millennium Falcon "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
5. Cloud City Unles you got drunk and actually fell over the side. Which would suck.
4. Leia's gold bikini Jabba also had exceptionally good taste in swimwear
3. Natalie Portman's tummy
2. Yoda The most ass-kickingest muppet this side of Sam the American Eagle!
Aaaaaaand Number One...
1. Darth Vader The biggest, baddest, most scariest This-is-the-way-we-do-it-on-the-Death Star, beeyotch, badaaassssss...
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will not lie next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40
give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can
get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other
women.
Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.
A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright, red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of
40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage. (Ouch)
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I love our military!!!
Don't make me get my lawyers involved.
Dewey Cheatum and Howe take no prisoners. :0)
yep, I confirm that.
Good thing I dont know how to post pics yet...
AAH, another Stooges fan!
Why, did the Seals take your diving equipment?
HAY! Save it for me, willya????
Hey, hey hey!!! There's plenty of sand for everybody!
For some reason I am really hungry now.
Yeah, well this is what I say to all women I talk to:
Lady, would you kindly ask your breasts to quit starin' at me?
"Good thing I dont know how to post pics yet..."
Yeah it is, LOL
Oh there is plenty. That is for sure!
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