Woman bitten by snake while defecating in bush
Bush’s fault.
Before you complain, it’s news because it was in a newspaper.
Today is double entendre Tuesday!
Oooh oooh I get to be the first to say...
"What? No pictures?"
No comment.
It wasn't me.
"...in Africa, everything bites."
--Peter Hathaway Capstick
Top sends
One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger had to relieve himself. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do."
So Tonto rides to town and goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, Lone Ranger has been bit by a snake what do I do?"
The doctor looks at Tonto and says, "You take a knife and make an x on the spot where he was bit, then you suck out the venim."
Tonto thanks the doctor and rides back to Lone Ranger and Lone Ranger asks "What did the doctor say?"
Tonto looks at Lone Ranger and says "Doctor say you gonna die!"
Old joke but someone had to post it.
Vaginal Cream May Be Harmful For Face
This thread has been pulled.
Pulled on 05/09/2005 10:51:09 PM CDT by Jim Robinson, reason:
taking out the garbage
Okay
Beat the bush first...
Note to self: Try not to poop in bushes in Zimbabwe.
My great-great-grandfather came down with a bad case of dysentery in the 1870s West Virginia. He had to travel to check on property he owned during his suffering. In the 40-50 mile trip, he had to make many a hurried detour into the bushes to accommodate his malady.
On one such detour, he glanced down and saw that he had squatted over a coiled rattlesnake. He ran so quickly that he ripped the crotch seam out of his pants, which ended up as nothing but two separate legs.
My grandfather used to laugh that his grandfather had promptly drowned the rattlesnake and then could not have a bowel movement for another month (and needed a laxative to accomplish that task then).
One of the many, many 'colorful' stories in my Appalachian family.
Oh boy....
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Brings this to mind.
Drew Barrymore, appearing on the new MTV eco-tourism show, "Trippin" apparently was enthralled by the lack of modern sanitary facilities in the Chilean forest and gleefully bragged, "I took a poo in the woods hunched over like an animal. It was awesome."
Wonder if that's what happened to JLO?
Joke on Leno last nite:
Husband Marc Anthony is painting a portrait of his wife JLO. He's using a brush for the top part, and a roller for the bottom...
Not long ago, I was sitting in my car in a parking area killing some time. Next to me was a SUV (I had to get that in). It's owner came along, and before getting in, she squatted down and took a whiz right next to my car (a clean rest room was no more than 100 feet away). I should have blown my horn, but I resisted the temptation. She probably would have left more than a puddle.
Don't know about Zimbabwe but, having been a security guard in a number of locations, I don't immediately blame the guard.
Unless they consistently treat them like actual human beings in Z.
Dan
This story reminds me of the time we drove 80 mph from Houston to Texas city to fish on the dike. Well, my sister really needed to relieve herself so as soon as the car stopped she hopped right out and squatted down on the VW's very hot tailpipe.
She says the scar is still there.
For your enjoyment....
Semper Fi